do i really have a blog?

theres been a lot of things happening with this thing, which is why i havent written here.

but i guess it works now. this is the longest ive gone without blogging regularily

and one of my rules is dont blog about not blogging and dont apologize for it

just get on with it, so fine.

today im thankful bc its thanksgiving, but im always thankful

im thankful that i can just say ECHO PLAY LED ZEPPELIN EVERYWHERE

and zeppelin music comes out from all of the speakers in my humble abode

im going to a thanksgiving dinner held by a friend ive known over 30 years.

such a talented dude who has lived his life the way he would have wanted to since he was a lad

and i guess in a weird way im sorta doing that right now myself, maybe for the first time in a long time

my cars in the shop so i gotta chill for a few days

which might be just what the doctor ordered

because the world is bizarre, turns out amber is related to a fire captain

and because LA is a small town that just looks big on tv, the captain in question lives in thousand oaks

where we went yesterday for thanksgiving

and out of all the people who he wanted to talk and talk and talk to

was me.

and yes yes yes did i have questions.

was it hot?


was it smokey?


whats the deal with using prisoners?

inmates volunteer to assist, probably because they just want to be outside and useful instead of locked up all day. but we keep them away from homes and cars, they’re not a threat to other people.

is it true that even if they fight all these fires, they can’t get jobs as firefighters once they pay their debt to society?

yes that’s true, but they can’t be cops either, or even mailmen. it’s just the rules. think about it though, your house is wide open, do you want a guy in prison for theft looking at your wallet in your unlocked house?

how many hours straight did you and your crew work.

about 30.

how many casualties were there in the LA fires?

about 4.

why was the paradise fire so much more deadly?

it was way faster. the wind. and in a more wooded community.

there were other firefighters at this thanksgiving. they told me that they received thanks from people like Vin Scully, Angels Manager Mike Scioscia, Tony Dow from Leave it to Beaver, and Dave Grohl who cooked BBQ for the boys.

despite just finishing fighting the largest fire in southern california history, all of them were in good spirits, attentive to their kids and wives, and down to talk about anything. we watched very little football.

the captain had to eat his Rams tickets a few weeks prior because the fire broke out with little time for him to sell them.

but that wasn’t his biggest fear.

he said that being a fireman, you know youre probably gonna get lung cancer. you inhale all kinds of industrial and bizarre shit. and lots of it. all the time. for years.

and just as quickly the discussion turned to looters, which he had a story about, and how the kid was caught.

it was a lively, fascinating, very warm evening and we drove the slow way home, still smelling the ash of Thousand Oaks on our way back to the Valley.

happy thanksgiving to you and yours

for the last several dozen decades i have looked at things that i am thankful for as things pertaining to *me*

things like job, cars, health, the cubs, are any hot babes loving me, all the things

but this morning i got a text from my mom and it nearly broke my heart.

she was happy to have a job but she didn’t want to have to go to work, she wanted to be cooking and watching football and doting on her grand kids.

but during the Great GOP Recession, just like tons of people, her retirement was wiped out and here she is working for The Man for peanuts on a day she would rather be watching the Macy’s Parade.

so i am not thankful. i am determined. i need to do something serious so my mom can finally retire.

and sadly it’s not drive more trips for Uber + Lyft.

or is it?

no, it’s not.


i need to write a script and sell it.

i gotta learn how to write a script.

and i know exactly the story i wanna tell: the time Joe got busted in Isla Vista

music by The Wonderfuls, The Ramones, Rogue Cheddar, Pink Floyd, Mons Pubis, PMS, and Janes Addiction.

it’ll be called Damn Those Shrooms Strong

do i have anything to be thankful for? i do.


starting with you, my family, and friends,


and all the great food we get to enjoy.

cubs world series ring

the Cubs of course especially Theo Epstein and the brewers of Old Style Beer.

old style

I am thankful for my health, and the health of Emily Ratajkowski.


I am thankful for my great job,


my side hustle,

when uber was fun

and high speed internet. I am thankful for my cats even though they are super weird and pretty much ungrateful and entitled.


I’m thankful for my khaleesi


and all my Uber and Lyft passengers who all want to take selfies with me for some reason.

obey peace

I am thankful for the Obey sample sale, Howard Stern, Baba Booey, Fred, Sour Shoes,

howard stern and beth stern

Fat Artie, and Robin’s health. I am thankful for the Internet, all my past and future loves.


I am thankful for German engineering, Mike Tyson,

xbi mobile in dtla next to mike tyson

and all my high school friends who have now had their dreams come true


– thanks to the Cubs, Theo and the brewers of Old Style.



I’m thankful for Taylor Swift, Rihanna, cheap gas, Anna Kournikova,


Charles Bukowski, Iceberg Slim, the Truest,

kanye smiling bc he's happy

and I pray for good health for Kanye West.

springsteen on the sunset strip

I’m grateful for Little Armenia, Hollywood Blvd., and Sunset Blvd where the freaks come out.

obama trump

I am thankful for my president, Canadian McDonalds,

the pants

all of the jobs of my past, the voters of California who made weed legal,

isla vista

Isla Vista, rock music,


hippie friends

my college friends who continue to rock, the Hollywood Bowl,

sass and her friend in my crib

Canadians who move to Cali,

bono and friends

the readers of the busblog, the moon,


my favorite book The Bible, KFC $5 Fillups,

shortsop tyler

left handed leadoff hitting shortstops who happen to be my nephew,

jeff solomon lincoln

and President Abraham Solomon

its four thirty in the morning

etienne miss montreal is snoozing in the lay-z-boy as vh1 classics plays softly and keeps her asleep.

its probably just a late night stony thought but i think i have decided that i will start writing more. more often. more and more and more.

none of its any good, so might as well have some quantity and maybe something will end up spectacular.

my problem is i read far too much. mostly blogs, but pretty much every magazine there is. and of course books. and letters sent from dirty girls who type to me from their bathtubs.

dear ev,

thank you for your invention.

it seriously has changed my life.

i know a lot of people have contributed to it, and thanks to all a them too. but thank you any way.

maybe this snoring girl would be here if it wasnt for blogger, but i aint so sure.

werent any chicks sending me letters from their tub when all i had was a web site. it was the blog people got excited about. and it was blogging that got people looking at the web for more than airline tickets and smut.

so thank you again.

southern girl called me today. no, not madpony. different girl. she said, you think im kidding, or that its somehow “safe” to say this because we live so far away, but i mean it, you bring it and i’d fuck the hell out of you.

and she said it so cute that i wish tivo was in my telephone.

nobody was inviting me to bring it when i had an open diary.

people werent sending me to aruba, or chipping in to buy me a car, or writing sweet things in my comments, and the LA Times wasnt interviewing me when i was working for billion dollar companies or making web pages in dreamweaver.

its blogger and the blogging phenomenon who’s responsible.

and if theres anything i can do for you in return, you got it.

forever indebted,


p.s. i told the girl on the phone that i would be on her doorstep the day after thanksgiving and she said oh, then she said, well, you better not, my dads a cop.

turns out shes thirty and still lives at home.

chers on. shes turning back time.

miss montreal grinds her teeth a little bit. but in a cute way.

she and i had a great talk yesterday.

shes really a terrific girl. courageous as hell.

she thinks she has strep throat and i told her she cant have strep, cuz we made out for hours twice this week and i dont have any damn strep throat and she said that she should stay away from me and i told her that i wasnt afraid of any damn strep, and i picked her up and brought her over here and we kissed during snl’s commercials.

its one of my new favorite drinking games.

they have so many commercials on that damn show, that every time theres a new one you have to drink, and then kiss.

we werent getting drunk enough so i changed the rules a little.

every time it sucked we took a drink.

i dont think miss montreal’s gonna wake up till thursday.

what other people accomplished at your age + flagrant is also in thailand