i know so many people who are in hawaii

the last time i went to hawaii i was broke, unemployed, and unbeknownst to me, about to head off on a journey with a gazillion dollar company that would change my life forever.

not because of the job, technically, but because of what the job did.

it moved me to san francisco

and there i met people who i never thought id meet.

one being a brain surgeon who i dated for a while.

is there anything sexier than a smart person?

no.

learning things triggers a part of my brain that makes my heart beat faster which is interesting because i never really liked school.

maybe it was the context. when youre bowling, which was my first date with this brain surgeon, you dont expect to learn about some of the mysteries of the human condition

whereas in a classroom, often times you cant wait to leave, in part, because you are judged in there. especially me.

no matter what great ideas i would bring to the reading, i almost always had a teacher who would insult me for what i wrote down.

just be yourself is the mantra every kid is instructed. be creative. think outside the box.

but in school i was literally punished time and again for not writing down what jimmy and johnnie and monica would write down. so school was always a bummer for me. even though i loved learning.

anyways i need to sit by a pool for a few days.

i love dares

today a fantastic woman dared me to write FIFTEEN PAGES of something cohesive

and i do owe someone who paid me a few hundred dollars to write something long

about the time i helped build a company and hired most of its people

but ive hesitated doing it because the true story involves

sex

sadness

and life changing change

but it also sets me up as the victim

and i dont ever want to portray myself as that because

well, fuck that.

theres enough victim stories in the Top 40.

probs the best song to come out this year was by that teen Olivia Rodrigo

one reason i love the Good Book so much is, despite everyone being victims pretty much

including God

Jesus is not one.

Even when his disciples wuss out on him and run away and refuse to say yeah He’s my boy

He does his thing, comes back and tells everyone, no it’s cool

just be super cool

im out,

but just be super cool people.

thats a way harder song to sing which is why Christian music blows so bad and it took Black folks to invent Gospel to put some zip into it.

can i write 15 pages, of course.

even if you are like me with ADD or whatever it is

you just write

one page a day.

 

thankfully im tired

even though i didnt get to sleep until 6, even though i woke up at noon thirty

even though i took a nap after dinner

am i stressed? am i love lorn? am i worried the cubs are gonna trade all their good dudes?

did i really break up with my shrink?

did i really make incredible rice a roni with tomato chunks and beyond beef?

am i gonna starve trying to do this podcast?

am i gonna irritate everyone with this podcast?

are the cops gonna kill me for criticizing them on twitter?

between you and me i sent in an application to work at one of the streaming services.

between you and me i set up a Patreon tonight for the pod and it already got a subscriber THANK YOU

between you and me i dont think ive had female companionship if you know what i mean all year. what if i get shut out this year completely?

is this what the Good Book meant when it said his favorite tribe walked through the wilderness

the desert?

will i find water out of rock?

will mana come down from heaven?

i think so too.

partied with friends twice in a week? thanks obama!

everyone brought their lookalikes to os and kims backyard.

i got there at 4 and didnt leave till 1.

justin ordered three of the largest pizzas LA makes.

so many of our friends were there which was funny because os and kim were out of town. only two used the pool even though we all had swim suits

i think we just wanted to say hi hi hi hi to each other and chat because we hadnt seen each other in literal years.

i tried to be funny and start a very dark game

because it was so odd that every single child that has come from our friends is just cooler and smarter and just like their parents

so i said, ok, now lets vote on who is the Worst kid our friends have made.

lots of laughter

i drank three beers.

didnt pee once

hung out with friends

how often does that happen?

plus, I have the greatest friends. so why doesnt it happen more often?

because of me, probably.

Greg was our host. he ordered pizza and chicken wings and we watched Bob Dylan with chris rob and joe z

it was so nice.

i had a beer, which is rare. we talked about old things, new things.

they talked about being dads

chris’s oldest is 30 now.

how is that even possible?

amber was 35.

i am 32.

chris is 19

how does a 19 year old have a 30 year old child?

its that multiverse timeline loki was trying tell us about.

fortunately Bob Dylan is in every variant experience.

we are so not worthy.

in art you care about the details

even if you know most people in a gallery or a museum is gonna give your thing

maybe 30 seconds

you still go for it.

you do that so in the rare chance you get someones attention

who is gonna buy your over price thing

maybe they too will appreciate the details you put in there

maybe they too will see what you see or something

even better

something deeper that you didnt even know you put in there.

so thats why the blog posts i do for this ridiculous podcast

of love

are 24 minutes long even though the stats couldnt be more clear

all people are gonna do is give you 10 minutes on a blog post.

but you cant listen to the masses

you gotta listen to yr heart

and the person esping you from the future saying

make that one little extra curley cue

add that extra paragraph or three

insert that weird art

include that video

do the home work

dont be lazy

squeeze

out

every

drop

someone said you didnt study poetry at uc isla v

i said youre right, i studied everything

poetry just came out.

this is one called 22 fillmore that i wrote when i lived in frisco

“22 Fillmore”

jeff was working the express lane at the safe

way on market street when these

gunshots rang out seems these kids for

some reason ganged up on this electric

muni bus and started beating the windows with

sticks junior high school boys bashing the plexiglass

sending shivers of spider web type patterns

all over the people watched the european soccer

finals less than one block away and nobody looked

over this is today which is sunday and the little little kids

had just

cracked open the fire hydrant across from the accosted

bus

but these were different kids

little kids

cooling themselves from the uncommonly

hot san francisco weather.

yesterday we attended the

lesbian parade.

we saw roller skating lesbians

lesbians on stilts

lots of topless lesbians

some lesbians with absolute no clothes on

old lesbians lesbians in wheelchairs

most of the lesbians seemed fairly uncomfortable

hell i was fairly uncomfortable because i was stoned

and was trying to figure out exactly what was it that i was doing

at the lesbian parade.

the kids beating up the bus kept calling the bus driver out

yo motha fucka get the fuck out and get yo ass slapped

sometimes its

like the good lord just wrings as much youth as he can possibly

force and shoves it into some kids

as well as some adults

narciso was driving the bus

a handsome father of three and amazingly well groomed

and not just as compared to other bus drivers

but

narciso knew how to clean up.

gel in the hair, moustache trimmed daily

nose hairs

plucked

eyebrows

plucked

and if you could see through his driving gloves youd see

some of the most well manicured set of nails that youd

ever wanna see.

narciso took his gloves off on this hot sunday in june.

i hope you know i love you.

and reached into his coleman cooler

and retrieved

his three fifty seven magnum

unlocked the safety

and said

narciso you understand

was from spain but if you ever said to him oh hey narciso

i hear youre spanish

he’d say true yes true but i am basque

deatils motherfucka details

narciso was into details like nobodies business.

sure the lesbians were in town but so were the gays too

and people for some reason were known to jump to

immediate conclusions with narciso because of his

good looks, impeccable grooming habits

and sharp attention to details of all sorts

if you said narcisco i’ll see you at the burrito hut at seven

narciscos brut aftershave smelling ass was at the burrito hut

like at 6:58

no problem

no worries

there he is

the man of the hour.

but if you were late.

look out there brothaman.

antonio, seven is not 7:04

seven is not 7:15

seven is seven

narciso pointed that gun straight

at the lead kid who was calling him out

the kid was wearing a san fransico forty-niners

tshirt and long shorts that looked to be falling off

if narciso wanted to he could have shot that bullet

right between his eyes

narciso loved to shoot guns and loved the challenge of

absolute marksmanship.

loved it.

jeff was working the express lane when he heard

narciso put a three inch hole

in the four inch wide stick

that lead kid

was

holding

one half inch above the kids

hand

motha fuck that

narciso said

and pulled away

slowly

from the curb.