i feel like it isnt wrong but people try to make you feel badly for admitting it
i mean my friends dont, but thats why theyre my friends
everyone else though
and i dont care what they think but i also dont want to be
super abnormal
i dont mind being sorta weird
but crazy is not acceptable
it is not crazy to miss people.
it’s human.
which, technically, is crazy.
they have four guys who are up for contract soon
rizzo, baez, bryant and contreras
some are calling them the Core Four
they won the world series for us
the owners dont want to pay all of them and would rather not let the pretty boy mvp go, but his price might be the highest.
theyd love to give the catcher away but theres not a viable backup to replace him yet
they cant really give away the cancer survivor first baseman
and the shortstop is the most exciting player in baseball who doesnt also pitch
so all of them are going to try extra hard to prove how much people should pay them
so they will be awesome, except maybe for javy who will just swing at everything and strike out a lot.
the cubs will be a first place team again
but their pitching will let them down.
today i filled out all this paperwork which basically asked the same basic bitch questions over and over.
there should be a national database for that.
i know i know ppl could use it for evil, but grow up, Putin already knows more about me than my damn soon to be shrink does so why not just let her have what he has and call it a day
seriously 10 pages of things i had to fill out and “sign” including my name address and phone numbers
how is that not given to her from kaiser? how is that even a question?
im a little nervous about all of this because everyone says you probably wont get along with your first few therapists and so does that mean 30 pages of paperwork awaits me?
today i learned that the US are thinking about spending 100 billion on 600 nuclear missiles.
i looked it up and there are 3.5 million FT and PT public school teachers.
you could give all of them a $20k bonus and still have money left over to fund music and the arts programs nationwide.
who’s launching nukes against anyone these days?
its all cyber warfare now. stealing my data. and a lot more than my dumb social security number.
these people know patterns. inventory. passwords.
we dont need 100 billion in bombs we’ll never launch.
we need smart, well prepared teachers
to produce smart, well prepared kids.
bombs are for dumbasses who dont know how to close.
everyone knows shes great. but she doesnt get the love she deserves.
she was so creative and wonderful last night on SNL
ive seen her now 3x.
once amber and i were late to her show in DTLA because i am dumb
but still it was way worth it.
thought i was gonna be able to pay off a credit card from my giant return
after watching snl though i went back to look at my return to bask in its glory
then noticed a terrible mistake
i had handed my tax preparer my w-2 from 2019, not 2020
maybe i’ll get a free burrito now instead.
which is fine.
i like burritos.
im in a bad mood because i just went through all of my expenses for last year bc im seeing my tax lady tomorrow, who i love, but still, last year was Rough and i had no idea how much money i spent on just fixing my car alone.
but todays good friday so lets talk about the Lord
i was in a Zoom call today and someone said good friday is actually sad
and i wanted to get into it but zoom’s lag is so bad that i fucking hate it
anyways good friday is good.
this was the part in the movie where Jesus
had to die.
first so he could pay for our sins
but also so he could rise from the dead.
both of those things are the coolest ever so whats the biggie being “dead” for a few days?
no one ever talks about the shitty time he spent right before his death wandering in the desert for 40 day and 40 nights being tempted n shit
and those temptations are so not-so-hard temptations.
hey Jesus, jump off this cliff, the angels will save you
hey Jesus, sell out to me and all of this will be yours
hey Jesus, if you’re so hungry, make bread outta this rock
those are super hard for the son of God?
maybe they are.
not being on social media for most of the day is hard for me.
not arguing with people on twitter is hard for me
so i guess everythings relative
i also dont think Good Friday is sad except for one moment when Jesus really became man
it was the part where he was nailed to the cross and He thought death was about to come
and it didnt
he just laid up there
actually suffering
actually paying for all of our sins
all at the same time
and it probably hurt like hell
in all the ways imaginable
in super villain ways
unbelievable pain that Only the son of God could withstand without dying
and then He probably hurt so band He thought it’ll be ok because this will just kill me and i can party back home in Heaven annnnny minute
and it didnt come
and Jesus yelled out
WHY HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME?
like you would if your uber just doesnt fucking come
even if the little dot is like a block away and its been there since for ever it feels
and thats when Jesus felt human
and it fucking sucked.
then he died.
good.
friday.
but we make due.
a wild congressperson is being accused of being involved in teenage prostitutes
ironic because the loudest supporters of his party and cause have been on a years-long obsession with pediphilias and here one of their poster boys just might have gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar
i have a lot of things to ask God if He has time for me IF i make it to Heaven. one of them is how was i supposed to feel about this?
this guy was a man who didnt care that guns were killing kids, didnt care about the environment being in a crisis, didn’t care about the healthcare system, and proudly was the only person who voted against a human trafficking law.
my heart wants to celebrate his downfall but i dont think Jesus would approve.
cubs lost their home opener today. it was cold. bats were cold too.
not crazy about our new announcer Boog. he wants the NL to have the DH and thats a non starter for me. kick him out.
i cleaned my kitchen and bathroom, took two naps, then did the dishes.
been doing some freelance work for Sass but any time i finish it im exhausted bc i put my heart in it.
also the covid vaccine has worn me out.
i hope i get my energy back tomorrow.
when i called my mom she said YOU GOT SHOT?
i was all, YES BUT THOSE DIRTY COPPERS WILL NEVER GET ME.
it was not a long wait. i wrote about it for my medium blog.
i met a bunch of people because i was in the best mood and we were all stuck together.
and when it was over, on my way to my car, i nearly cried out of sudden relief
all of this had built up in me.
probably in you too.
all of this angst and fear OF DEATH and this fucked up invisible hatchet man who seemed to arrive in people’s lungs with no rhyme nor reason
we see all these jackholes vacationing and partying and running around with no mask
and for all we can tell they dont get sick.
then you hear about this one or that one who “did everything right” and either they get it and die or get it and feel so lucky not to die.
i got a burrito at Tacos Arizas got home and soon became very sleepy and passed out in my robe.
was it relief? was it the drug? was it the angels saying go have super weird dreams as lana del rey goes through an hour of material?
yes
the company bought 666 pairs of Nikes, added some words and colors to it
put a drop of human blood in the sole
and called it the Lil Nas X Satan Shoe.
Nike is suing, which I can’t understand, because you can bedazzle a pair of jeans and sell them on ebay
you can customize a Vette and sell it for more
why can’t you do that to a dumb pair of shoes?
this woman on Twitter broke the lawsuit down beautifully:
i thought i had kicked this last week but here it is.
i was off to a good start yesterday but it was 80 degrees so i took a walk and kept walking because LA is fantastic.
ate two tacos: shrimp, fish.
drank an orange crush because im 9.
kept walking then was involved in a high level business call that included the words, “offer letter”
i said dont rush on that. hes such a nice person i dont know if the ideas im giving him are as good as he’s reactions are or if he’s just nice.
but we talked for two hours, which is an hour less than last time and he lives near zulieka so if i get the job maybe i can share a grilled cheese with her.
then it was time for dinner.
the other night i poured a can of minestrone in a pot and added beyond beef sausage, avocados and peas. by some miracle there was leftovers. dinner.
then moxie called with a lot of questions including the dreaded word: podcast.
that thing could either make me a million or ruin my life entirely.
a six year podcast. who wants that? i dont even have the attention span to watch an entire music video without going for my phone. how am i going to be committed to a 6 year project?
the only way i can even fathom it is by convincing myself that after a year it will have become so popular that people will be throwing themselves at me to tell me what to do next and heres a whole lotta money to do it.
i really need a microphone.