and i expect such things in life.

it’s tough having favorites, and i am not afraid to tell people where they stand.

but her complaint was the spark to a brilliant idea that i just had.

i was a terrific editor in college, ask anyone. i think i was a far better editor than writer. even though i was unfairly fired and then banned from the paper that gave birth to a lot fo the great writers and editors that you read and love, i learned a lot there.

and my list, kitty, was simply a representation to the hard-nose super high commitment to excellence that i learned under the shadow of that mighty tower in santa barbara.

there’s many reasons why i came up with those ladies as who i’d pick to fill seven spots if i was guest editor of FoxNews.com, and one reason that I did not pick Kitty is because she holds back on her readers.

it’s true.

i mean, her pen name is Kitty Bukkake, for pete sake, and how much blushingly erotic sexiness do you read on her page?

not much, is right.

now, i dont know ms. kb all that well, but i know her enough to be able to honestly say that she has some stories to tell — as we all do, im sure — and i know shes in a committed relationship with an excellent midwestern man who deserves his private life to remain just that, but come on dear girl there is a geyser of stories inside that thin frame busting to come out and i have not seen but a glimpse of it on your “diary” and before i would be confident to release you upon the good people of FoxNews.com, i would have to see that you could tell a sexy tale on your own page.

but i realize that some of you arent into that, so i have devised a master plan that im sure you will all love to participate in.

my blog is about to self destruct, and before that happens, i would like to host some stories of people that i know and love.

i would LOVE to have some guest columnists on here.

screw FoxNews.com

and of course i feel bad for writing things like what my good pal jeff said about how the only good women writers were either crazy or crazy.

so this is what i would like to do: all the ladies who know me or who dont know me, if you would like to see your column posted on this very page, i would love to have it.

all you have to do is send it in to my home email address: guestbabecolumnist@tonypierce.com, and you can either post using your real name and i will include a link to your site,(if you have the courage), or you can post using a pen name (if you want to write something, let’s say, risquee) and i wont link your site.

either way my illiterate readers will be educated into the sweet world of your world via this blog.

what could be finer?

the invite is open to women who want to write something that they wouldnt dare write on their site, for women who want to write to my very diverse readership, and/or to women who want to write something who don’t have a blog to write on.

i can guarantee you a good sized audience and the opportunity to receive sweet praise.

and maybe if this is a smashing success, i will let the fellas have a chance,

but since i was raised right, ladies first.

it’s nothing new.

she says she wants to be my friend. then she’ll lick my neck when i kiss her cheek goodnight.

she says she wants to hang out with me, then she flies off to wherever she goes without even an adios.

some people would get upset about these sorts of things, but not me, which is why, i suppose that we’ve been able to have such a good relationship for all this time.

tonight chris’s sister is in town from oregon so we’re going to take her to a fancy LA restaurant and then get some yucks at the Comedy Store on sunset cuz they dont have those sorts of things in the woods Up North.

im very happy to live in LA.

but i think i would be able to live quite nicely there in central oregon.

no one would bother me except the klan and the wild turkeys and the deer.

i would smoke my pipe in the morning, write, wrestle up some grub, brush my teeth, eat, fish, come back and take a nap, fish, and write some more.

yes, i know, hemingway tried to live that sort of life after living in some cool cities and it made him blow his brains out, they say. but i dont think so.

i think he blew his brains out because he wasnt surrounded by awesome friends.

im very much enjoying this Laker parade as it winds its way through downtown.

two quick comments: Kobe’s krazy wife is a friggin knockout. i never knew really why he married her, but now i do. damn, bro.

the other news that somehow slipped this site is that long time Laker AC Green who was a vocal virgin was married two months ago, he reports.

AC holds the NBA record for consecutive games played (1,192 straight games), but really the 39 year streak of no nookie… is that something to be proud of? maybe.

i dont think so, though.

the easiest thing to say in the world is no.

but still, im happy that now AC gets to make up for some lost time.

maybe he can make a new video now.

happy flag day, flag.

it’s okay in my book to celebrate such a day especially when our nation’s flag is the coolest of all and our state flag is pretty awesome as well.

somehow this week i forgot to tell you about our pal Ben getting a column published in FoxNews.com, which makes me think that FoxNews should just hire me to pick the columnists that will make their pages mightier.

one thing i learned in my teens selling stereos and tvs on commision is you want people to buy more than just one item. same should go with having people click on more than one link on your news site.

so if youre going to present to the world Ben Sullivan, you really should run a column from his sister Kate.

if youre going to run Layne, run Welch too.

or if you’re going to give the world Welch, let them discover his talented wife Emmanuelle as well.

post a point-counterpoint from two law professors, like Reynolds and Volokh.

on the old days at Wrigley they used to have Ladies Day on Wednesday, i wouldnt mind seeing Rabbit, Sara, Virginia, Seipp, Amy, Solent, and Dawn take over a column for a week.

ok, now i have to go back to my tv to watch the parade.

i hope Shaq freestyles again.

27. http://www.vodkapundit.com

for your back-to-back-to-back world champeen los angeles lakers.

last night i got invited to see the space station fly across the friendly skies, of all things. and no one else wanted to do anything with me last night, so i said, y not.

Heres what our instructions were:

The International Space Station with the Space Shuttle Endeavour

Face the northwest at 9:45 p.m. on Thursday the 13th, and look just above the horizon for what will look like a slowly moving airplane, but without flashing running lights, appearing as bright as the brightest stars (magnitude -0.8). It gains altitude, and a minute later passes to the left of the Big Dipper, just missing the bowl. It is directly overhead at 9:47 p.m. It continues on, passing left of the bright star Arcturus, and then fades out just before 9:48 p.m., still high in the southeast, when it moves into the earth’s shadow.

got picked up, drove up vermont to griffith park, expected a lot of people and traffic and space station viewers but we may have been the only ones there for that.

the griffith park observatory might be closed for a few years for renovations, but the stars and the incredible view of the city needs no improvements, it was beautiful and very clear.

unfortunately neither of us had a watch so now and then we thought we saw the space station but it was just a plane.

then, we spotted it, and it wasnt as bright as the north star, which was super bright last night, but it was bright and it was at the horizon and three minutes later it was directly above our heads so let me tell you, that thing was booking and thats something i dont understand.

how can something that is way up in space speed across the sky faster than a plane going from the valley to LAX?

see what happens when you write poems during science class?

ter> there’s the best player in basketball

26. http://www.unablogger.blogspot.com

i do.

my heart is warmed by all the people and all the sites that have linked me and want to link me.

i hate to do this, but i must now be a little more specific than i was when i last chatted with destiny’s child.

when she and i meant “link” we meant a permanent link on the left- or right-hand side of your blog.

see how nice heather did it? perfect. now, what prof. glenn just did, well, that’s nice, but its not a permanent left hand link, so, it doesnt count.

speaking of rabbit, she and i had a very pleasant interview last night after sonny left and we penciled in a follow-up tonight, so perhaps next week you can see what happens when two heavyweights of blogging chat with each other.

it will be a much different conversation than what dawn and a.beam and weiss and matt moore had last night, but i got mentioned so all’s good. although it seems like moore wanted to start a little tiff with me.

perhaps he should continue to stroke his poll(s).

but you, know, he did link me last week so i’ll give him a pass. sarcasm is hard to pick up in print.

and besides, i know who a.beam is, and he doesnt.

ha!

anyway, i thank you unablogger for getting the troops together. nothing like a site of half naked chicks, scratch that, totally naked chicks, to get people to do things. and thanks to Ye Olde Blog, damn you get a bunch of hits, girl.

always seems to know when my house is clean, or i have a nice new bottle of rum, or beer in the fridge, or something worthwhile over at the house that he can put his dirty paws on.

last night he came over for the game.

i was on the computer, trying to ignore him. no such luck.

he found my diary. my real one. he was flipping through it.

“your handwriting is horrible.”

i do that so that creeps like you will get frustrated and quit reading.

“fuck, man, you were getting That chick?”

i was being used. it’s not what it looks like.

“how on Earth are you doing this?”

cycles. sometimes youre up sometimes youre down. it has zero to do with me, trust me. zero.

“so when is my cycle going to come?”

well, you, sonny, have bad karma, your time might not ever come.

he kept reading. we ignored the game. around the fourth quarter he turned on howard stern, but crawled into a little ball like a chick and read more of my diary. it was the most that ive ever seen him read at one sitting.

when the game was over he flipped around the stations and eventually finished my diary.

“so let me get this straight. there are three girls youre chasing now. one girl is crazy about you and will do anything for you. the other is on the fence, she wants to be your girl but only if you settle down with her. and the other isnt at all interested in you.”

first of all, im not chasing anyone. so maybe you should read that shit again.

“i say you go for the girl who loves you.”

listen to me, im not going for anyone. it’s called dating. you should try it. you get to meet people. meeting people is nice sometimes.

“but instead of going for the one who loves you, you’re blowing her off. and it sounds like youre blowing off the fence-chick too, who, by the way is hotter than all three of them.”

okay, you drank all the beer. fucker. youre drunk. one girl cant be hotter than all three of them if shes one of the three! and i told you not to put your butts in the bottles, that shit is sick.

“then find your one stupid ashtray!”

i think you should go home now.

“but the psycho thing is, you’re fully going for the one chick who isnt even slightly into you.”

what are you even reading?

“this chick barely even knows you exist and you write about her like crazy. you should get your head examined.”

leave my house. go bother someone else. leave.

“i agree with ashley, i think you’re gay.”

exunt. be gone with you. adios.

“and get some ashtrays, asswipe.”

hi blog.

whats this i hear you want to stop this thing we have going?

yeah, i think blogs should end after a year.

thats the dumbest thing i ever heard.

well, youre biased, now arent you.

dont you love me?

very much so. more and more every day.

are you going to leave me for another blog?

no, i dont think so, im extremely loyal.

but youre such a great writer.

shut up.

no, dude, im serious, while youre saving the world, all the other blogs tell me how great it must be to be your blog.

if you dont shut up i’m going to delete you.

you dont have the guts to delete me.

that might be, but i can be pretty spontaneous. i’ll delete you and regret it later, but you’ll be gone never the less.

please dont say things like that.

ok, sorry.

why are you such an idiot?

beats me.

well, you will have to keep me going, 25 blogs have already linked us.

26. http://www.blogrolling.com

twenty-six as of today, but we’ll never make it to 100 by july 9.

you never know. i know a lot of blogs. they want to save this good thing we’ve got.

dont you want to quit on top?

who says we’re on top?

me.

well, youre not even in the top ten in hits.

so.

so what makes you think we’re on top?

me.

yeah, but you’re insane. you know, nobody thinks like you do. have you realized that yet?

you’re boring me now, im going to go.

one more thing, why arent you dating chicks your own age?

chicks?

you know what i mean.

i do. they just dont like me so much.

why dont you date karisa?

we’re just friends.

that chick’s hot, are you gay?

no, and shes the wrong sign, anyway.

okay, you are gay.

dont say things like that, it’s rude.

okay, youre the stupidest person i ever met. i wish you never created me.

now you see why i dont ever talk to you in public.

i hope you get a paper cut today.

i love you too.

by the way the first real blog entry was in august. im not truly one years old until then.

details, details.

reynolds will never permalink you.

i dont blame him, youre not even very entertaining.

it feels like

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhweeeeep