Author Archives: tony

couldnt sleep last night – nervous about a phone call i was having today

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was it a job interview? not really. more like a pitch. but i didnt know it was gonna be a pitch. i thought it was gonna be something else. i didnt know what it was going to be. i knew it was gonna be a phone call.

maybe. hopefully. then it turned out it was. which was good. three people on the call. had only known one. other two i had only read about and heard of.

my voice gets really high when im nervous. had no reason to be nervous. only people who are lying should be nervous. this was not a lie. it was the biggest truth ever. it was basically: heres this thing i want to make for you that probably wont pay off immediately but not far down the road mama mia will you think this was genius.

and i gotta say there werent a lot of hard questions. some good ones. some right on the money. i was asked if i knew of this other thing, and i had known of that other thing, so hopefully they saw i wasnt a total dummy.

but its sorta like this. in baseball you can hit the ball hard 3-4 times in the game. and still make outs because it goes right to center, or right in the 3rd baseman’s glove. or just a little foul. you did everything right but it just wasnt your night.

i feel that way about spring. i have had the best opportunities, with the coolest people, and we are communicating clearly, but it just doesn’t sing.

also i didnt figure out the name for it until just now — the great rock n roll census.

it’s nobodys fault. there’s no hard feelings. no ill will. it’s just: thank you next. so tomorrow im going to do the unspeakable. im going to start a podcast.

since i slept so poorly last night and had a headache after the call i took a little nap. and during the nap i had a dream. in the dream i just took the bus and got off the bus somewhere where no other typical podcaster would ever get off the bus. dangerous? you bet. but who cares, the cubs won the world series. and i saw it.

so i get off the bus and walk down the street and ask some kids, hey what are you doing over there? and either they run away, stab me, or tell me. that’s a .333 chance of something good, which would get you in the hall of fame in baseball. so thats one category: hey what are you doing?

the other is: hey what goes on over here? other day i was in glendale. i was in the library reading but i really wanted to go outside and smoke a joint because i was getting depressed. so i went out to the library to the adjoining park. there were what appeared to be semi retired gang members there playing classic rock on an old school boom box.

because im 239874 years old i knew every song coming out of that boom box, but i didnt have enough weed to share with the entire posse so i just kept walking over to the far end of the park. when out of no where a security guard went over to the gentleman and caused them to raise their voices at him.

if i had been more prepared, i would have walked over and said, he what goes on over here and stuck my microphone out so you could all hear.

another category would be: hows biz? where i walk down random streets and talk to small business owners about the state of the economy, the history of their establishment, and can i have a taste of that thing over there?

the way i look at it, i could probably wake up at noon and be done interviewing people by 4. edit that audio, make corresponding blog posts by 6-7 and probably get a few thousand people to chip in a couple bucks a month for what i would call LA IS OK.

heres how i figure it. a man of my age and education should be making six figures by now. that’s like 8,500 a month. if i could get 4,250 paying subscribers to flow $2 a month, boom, done.

granted thats more than read the busblog every month now that blogs are dead. but you know me, ive never had a hard time getting an audience when i want one. and like ive just laid out, i’ll be in danger, i’ll be educating people, i’ll be showing off the greatest city in the world, and there will probably be music.

tomorrow i will start with a pregnant person i know (pictured) who is due to have her first baby any day now. she wants me to take her to this salad place known to induce some women right there on the spot. so what better to Christian a pod than water breaking? or if we get lucky i’ll have to speed her to the hospital. have no fear, the tape will be rolling.

155 well-known musicians 70 or older

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Tony Bennett – 92
Harry Belafonte – 92
Burt Bacharach – 90
Ennio Morricone – 90
Loretta Lynn – 87
John Williams – 87
Willie Nelson – 86
Quincy Jones – 86
Little Richard – 86
Yoko Ono – 86
John Mayall – 85
Richard Chamberlain – 85
Herb Alpert – 84
Pat Boone – 84
Jerry Lee Lewis – 83
Johnny Mathis – 83
Sam Moore – 83
Kris Kristofferson – 82
Buddy Guy – 82
Charlie Daniels – 82
Don Everly – 82
Frankie Valli – 82
Wanda Jackson – 81
Charley Pride – 81
Kenny Rogers – 80
Bill Withers – 80
Gordon Lightfoot – 80
Smokey Robinson – 79
Herbie Hancock – 79
Mavis Staples – 79
Tina Turner – 79
Ginger Baker – 79
Ian Hunter – 79
Grace Slick – 79
Spencer Davis – 79
Giorgio Moroder – 79
Bob James – 79
Phil Lesh – 79
Neil Diamond – 78
Joan Baez – 78
Ringo Starr – 78
Aaron Neville – 78
Ann-Margret – 78
Mike Love – 78
Dionne Warwick – 78
Tom Jones – 78
Toni Tennille – 78
Bob Dylan – 77
Barbra Streisand – 77
David Crosby – 77
Graham Nash – 77
Charlie Watts – 77
George Clinton – 77
Darlene Love – 77
Paul Simon – 77
Art Garfunkel – 77
Wayne Newton – 77
Carole King – 77
Dr. John – 77
Helen Reddy – 77
Paul Anka – 77
John McLaughlin – 77
Eric Burdon – 77
Mark Lindsay – 77
Paul McCartney – 76
Brian Wilson – 76
Andy Summers – 76
Sly Stone – 76
Mike Nesmith – 76
Jean-Luc Ponty – 76
Rodriguez – 76
Taj Mahal – 76
Mick Jagger – 75
Keith Richards – 75
Jimmy Page – 75
Diana Ross – 75
Roger Daltrey – 75
Joni Mitchell – 75
Randy Newman – 75
Roger Waters – 75
David Gilmour – 75
Steve Miller – 75
Julio Iglesias – 75
Albert Lee -75
Geddy Lee – 75
Tony Orlando – 75
Barry Manilow – 75
Dickey Betts – 75
Eric Clapton – 74
Rod Stewart – 74
Stephen Stills – 74
Bob Seger – 74
Jeff Beck – 74
Billy Cobham – 74
Robbie Robertson – 74
Jon Anderson – 74
Ray Davies – 74
Boz Scaggs – 74
Gladys Knight – 74
Tim Rice – 74
Robin Trower – 74
Dolly Parton – 73
Neil Young – 73
John Fogerty – 73
John Paul Jones – 73
Pete Townshend – 73
Debbie Harry – 73
Van Morrison – 73
Itzhak Perlman – 73
Steve Martin – 73
Bette Midler – 73
Don McLean – 73
Al Green – 73
Elton John – 72
Iggy Pop – 72
Robert Fripp – 72
Dennis DeYoung – 72
Jimmy Buffett – 72
Linda Ronstadt – 72
Cher – 72
Daryl Hall – 72
Carmine Appice – 72
Ry Cooder – 72
Steve Howe – 72
Howard Shore – 72
Melanie – 72
Steven Tyler – 71
Kenny Loggins – 71
Jim Messina – 71
Brian May – 71
Joe Walsh – 71
Bob Weir – 71
Mick Fleetwood – 71
Ronnie Wood – 71
James Taylor – 71
Carlos Santana – 71
John Oates – 71
Stephen Sondheim – 71
Donald Fagan – 71
Andrew Lloyd Webber – 71
Ian Anderson – 71
T Bone Burnett – 71
Ozzy Osbourne – 70
Robert Plant – 70
Stevie Nicks – 70
Steve Perry – 70
Grace Jones – 70
Rick Ocasek – 70
Billy Joel – 70
Jackson Browne – 70
Ted Nugent – 70
Cat Stevens – 70
Lulu – 70
Steve Winwood – 70
Brian Eno – 70
Brian Ferry – 70

when i was in high school there was this bus

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and it took high school seniors to a college in iowa where you only had to take one class a day for about month.

you were in that class for like three hours a day, maybe four, every day

when you went home you did your homework for a few hours and after that you were done for the day.

cornell college.

then at the end of the month you’d take your finals and then youd get a few days off

next month youd start a new class.

genius.

when i was 17 i knew i wasnt going to no cornell college in iowa, i knew i was coming to californee

but i was intrigued to be able to spend the night in iowa at a real college.

none of my friends from my high school wanted to come with, and that was fine with me.

on the bus i saw these two beautiful girls.

one was named rise the other was tracey. i was shy, but on that bus i said to myself fuckit, im moving to california in a few months, what do i have to lose?

and we talked all the way to dumb cornell college and all the way back the next day.

i was instantly in love with tracey (not pictured), but i kept in touch with both of them via the post. we’d send letters and cards and phone once in a while. what have you.

right before i turned 21 i had some time on my hands and rise was in switzerland at some fancy college and she said come out and we can travel around europe a little.

and sure enough i had made enough money selling tvs on commission that i said, fine!

and rise had this korean roomate named ae, who just happened to be from iowa, and i fell in love with her immediately. pictured. we all traveled around switzerland for a little while then paris. we spoke so much french i started dreaming in french. it was loco.

then the girls had to go back to college and i kept roaming europe. first germany and then scandanavia.

best month of my life until october / early november 2016

and it all started with a bus ride

to nowhere

for no good reason

dear posterity

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because nothing in here is true, it’s tough, sometimes, when looking back through this blog to figure out *exactly* what is going on in my life.

so i will tell you that i am in excellent health, knock wood,

i have a lovely girlfriend who lives with me and my two cats, Prince & Michael, here in East Hollywood

i am surrounded by amazing friends, most of whom i have known from college or the various jobs ive had

i am currently unemployed living on savings (always save for a rainy day, Cub fans)

even though i have been super qualified for several jobs ive applied for, for some reason they haven’t made it past the first interview phase.

i have two or three good possibilities out there. it’s gonna happen.  I should just clean my apartment and enjoy this time off but to be honest i am a bit worried, in part, because i couldn’t have been more perfect for some of these gigs.

i have a friend who wrote me the other day to tell me that agism is real and he is feeling it too. but i dont believe thats the case for me. i have an amazing track record. the companies i work for almost always do well when im there. hell even the giants went to the playoffs the year i sold beer there.

i truly believe that Hearts have been Hardened so that i would be available for the Perfect next gig, and this waiting game was so i would appreciate that job even more than i would have normally appreciated it.

anyways posterity, right now there is this thing called Movie Pass that lets you go to the theater every day and see a movie for just $10 a month. most theaters participate in it. so today i saw the Aretha Franklin doc “Amazing Grace” at the NoHo 7.

by 1972, aretha had nearly a dozen huge hits under her belt and even though she was raised by a famous detroit pastor and learned to sing in the church, she hadn’t recorded a gospel album since her debut when she was 14.

she flew to Watts and knocked out Amazing Grace over two nights in what was a small movie theater that had recently been converted to a Baptist church. Sidney Pollock, a decade before he directed “Tootsie” was roaming around with a camera, two of the Rolling Stones were lurking in the back row (and eventually made their way up front) but all eyes were on the 29 year old Lady Soul.

she was backed by three rows of gospel singers, a rhythm section, including a dude on congas, and her dad’s former musical director on piano.

the story on how the film finally got released is epic on its own. apparently Pollock made a rookie mistake by not using the clapper between songs so they could sync the cameras with the audio, so the unedited footage sat and sat in the Warner Bros vaults until this dude mortgaged his house to buy the reels so he could edit them.

once he did, Aretha fought him for 8 years to keep it from being seen.

which is bizarre because when the double record was released in ’72, it was a smash hit. not just Aretha’s biggest album in her career, but the best selling gospel record of all time.

why didn’t she want the movie out there?

all these critics today are falling over themselves about how it’s one of the greatest music docs of all time. but they’re not being honest. it’s historic, no doubt. it’s a fine document of two nights in South Central LA when a legendary artist sang so well that her mentor had to sit down and cry in the middle of the title track.

but it doesn’t tell the story.

we don’t learn why she chose to leave her beloved Detroit to come to the New Temple Missionary Baptist Church for this record. why are the Stones there? where’s Keef? why are there so many empty seats? why does Aretha barely talk? who are these musicians? why these songs?

something tells me the doc about the doc would be way more interesting, but seeing how tough it was to just release this, i doubt The Making Of would come around any time soon.

i love music documentaries more than any other genre. you should have seen the smile on my face when it began. but halfway through i was struggling to stay awake. it was beautiful music but nothing was happening visually. i was bored – which is hard to do with such inspirational music.

i gave it a B but listened to the record all night.

amber and i took a long walk.

shes a good girl.

im lucky.

 

can you get extraordinary results from ordinary people?

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i have seen a lot of things in my day, but one thing i have never seen is a typical person produce atypical results

whether i was a the big news paper or a little blog that became big,

the ones who created the biggest splash were the ones who were willing to leap from the tallest high dives

and twist and turn and tumble and tuck and then

spread wide open as the earth and sea sped up to them

and then braced for impact.

they were also the ones who got out of the pool, watched what they had done

repeatedly

climbed up that giant ladder

step by step by step by step

and did it again and again and again constantly learning.

to me it’s the only way.

to me you can’t pay attention to the russian judge.

to me you can’t acknowledge that the water is cold or that youre getting old

to me you can’t blame your speedo or the wind or gravity or anything

you say how can

i

make magic right here and right now

how can

i

make possible the impossible, like i did then and then and then.

and that is not ordinary.

ordinary might keep you on the team but theres a percentage of us who are all

when the handshakes after the game happen, i wanna be one of them who the other side is all

dude, that was incredible.

i remember being in little league, thats how much this guy impressed me.

i was the only black kid in the league and he was the only japanese guy.

his name was kenji, i’ll never forget. we were like 9, maybe 10.

he was the star of his team, i was the star of mine.

and after i said, how do you say you fucking rule in japanese?

he didn’t know english very well.

he just smiled and bowed.

and said kenji.

which now that i write this down i think maybe

he did know english

perfectly.

what do you do what do you do what do you

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do when all the paths are there for you

take the shiny take the true take the crazy take the new

which is the one where is the fun

and how will you know which one

she lives in a rainbow on a daydream through the edges of a myth

sings like a blue jay on a sunday who just had her first kiss

nobody knows the troubles she’s seen

nobody knows her real name

few have witnessed the light in her eyes

like a sunbeam through the soft rain

so what do you do when the brown turns to blue

and the ivy switches to green

roll the dice say yr prayers fingers crossed

and hope your spirit is clean

shout out to amber, our personal superstar

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amber american apparel socks

two years ago she was working at an easily forgettable hotel off ventura blvd.

she was their front desk agent of the month one month.

one day she texted me and said, i love these people but i gotta get out of here.

and shared with me stories of one valley drama after another.

i told her, the waldorff just opened in beverly hills, im sure theyd love all the skills you’ve learned there and elsewhere.

she was all, LOL, doubt it, they’re really fancy, but ok i’ll try.

and boom she was hired as a personal concierge.

first they put her on the grueling overnight shift. she shined. helped some famous people that are household names, who loved her. and then they placed her in the early morning shift.

some days she stood at the front door for hours opening it and saying hi hi hi hi, other days she was on the phones, sometimes she was the bellperson carrying people’s bags, and some days she was rocking it at the front desk.

she won best on her team a few months ago, in part because she signs people up for their rewards card, effortlessly upgrades people who want bigger and better, and is beloved by everyone from the housekeepers to the valets

if you look on trip advisor the guests leave sweet comments about her.

and when they return to the hotel they’ve been known to hug her

she truly is that nice.

but personal concierge isn’t lobby concierge, and that’s really where she shines because

not long ago she was a lobby concierge at a different fancy hotel by the beach

where she was the best at advising travelers and tourists and honeymooners and everyone

about where to eat and what to do. helicopter tours? trips to catalina? nobu?

she’s a native los angeleno which means she’s not just knowledgeable but more than helpful.

so the other day she noticed that a different fancy hotel was looking for a lobby concierge

 

amber lobster kanpai

and that hotel has a bunch of the top rated concierges in town.

you can tell because when you’re awesome they give you this tough-to-get pin,

The call it is getting your keys.

 

if you saw the great Wes Anderson film, “The Grand Budapest Hotel” they spoke of

a Society of Crossed Keys, a secret, international collection of world class concierges

who can book you a table at the toughest restaurant,

get you tickets to the most sold out show,

or perform impossible feats of service from behind a podium at the highest quality hotels around the world.

in reality there truly is an international group of concierges who actually do attempt to meet every need they are asked

and they too have a crossed key pin

and the next hotel that amber will be working at has about 5-6 members of that club as concierges,

who, i am certain, will take her under their wing and teach them their tricks

and she will share with them all the secrets she knows.

like, for example, where to get the best ramen they’ve ever had the pleasure of known – just 10 minutes from LAX.

oh did i bury the lede? amber applied and was accepted and starts at the new place soon.

it has been amazing to watch her rise up the ladder and literally have her dreams come true.

when we first started dating this is all she talked about

and here it is.

reach for the stars dear friends, they want to hug you!

there’s few things as satisfying as curing your own hiccups

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sometimes the computer needs to have its cache cleared, maybe followed by a restart

who am i to think im any different.

i wanna go to palm springs this weekend with amber before it gets too hot

and just lay by the pool for a few days

but shes got this thing and that thing

one involving a baby shower.

can you imagine what sort of magician i would have to be to wrest a woman away from her best friend’s baby shower?

so maybe next week.

even though the entire idea is ridiculous.

but what isnt ridiculous. i paid $3 extra to order thai food via the computer the other day, so i wouldnt have to pick up the phone and try to make it happen with a dude yelling on his end from a loudly busy restaurant.

its all ridiculous. magnets, how do they work.

only reason i have cats is because bukowski liked cats. not that i went out to get any, mind you, they were literally thrust upon my doorstep. but i am glad i have them even though they have figured out how to wake me up every morning for food

the boy cat, prince, is chubby. my bad. i love him. he’s aggressive and always following me around like a roving reporter. he wants to witness my every move. the girl, michael, likes her beauty sleep. prince has things to watch.

when i go out to get the paper in the morning he jumps from the couch and follows me to the door, just barely sticking his face over the threshold, sniffing at the welcome mat, squinting in the sun.

michael will wake up long enough to lick herself, reposition, and dive back into dreamland.

i think bukowski would have liked these two very very much.

have i told you i have the greatest friends? i do.

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And some of them have the greatest backyards where on special occasions we gather, sing songs and celebrate how lucky we are to know each other.

Last night we showed love to the birthday boy Dylan Callaghan who serenaded us with originals and covers by The Lemonheads, Teenage Fanclub and many others.

I don’t drink a lot of booze these days, but I’ve gotta say, because I knew it was gonna be a long, warm, beautiful night I did have a glass when I arrived. And maybe another after that, and maybe a third (!) soon after.

I am such a sucker for a good red wine and Dylan and his wife had such a delicious spread of food, a bartender, and a wide assortment of people.

I arrived at 9… left around 3.

It’s hard to believe in luck. But I must say, of the things I am eternally grateful for, it is the people who I met in college who are such delightful people.

We can talk about anything. They are all so smart and talented. Rarely do we focus on “the good old days” because we continue to have new good days.

When they talk about their kids or their dogs or their jobs or their cars it’s almost always funny.

We laugh and laugh at pretty much everything.

And time flies on nights like last night the same way they did when we were beachside in Isla Vista.

Thank you God for these people. Probably the biggest blessing in my life.