you lose my excellent postings, freezing up when i have something good to say, and post my words in such a way that all the fly girlies get scared away. i swear not much in here is true, except for mariah, anna, and you.

if you’re like me, you climb onto the bus, then take a subway, then take another subway and enter your lonely bachelor pad, fire up the computer, crack open a two-liter of Dr. Pepper, throw on some pajamas, have a little smoke, and then go to Yahoo Fantasy Sports.

Click “Join Private League” and if you want to play against me, and some incredibly competitive fellows, join League ID#: 20899 Password: redsox.

i am not the commissioner of this league, a former associate is and he is fair and a red sox fan, so beware.

the Live Draft is tomorrow at 7:30pm, so be ready. and yes, i will destroy you.

i dont mind. sometimes i even like being wrong.

yesterday i was saying that i got a sweet french link and i was amazed because i was being held in similar regard as pro journalists like my friends, the welches. well, good ole, emmannuelle, fresh from her petite vacation in beloved Oregon emailed me about this French site that has me listed as a … gasp .. journalist! Sacre Bleu! Perhaps the nice folks have lost something in the translation, but as much as i would love to enter that respectable profession, i am certainly not worthy, at this point of such a benediction.

but merci, mes amies.

actually i do plan on doing some hard-core reporting in the very near future. as in very very very near future. as in hopefully within 24 hours from now you will see an update on my main page which will tie in nicely to this Bus Blog. riding home yesterday i realized that i don’t really talk that much about the public transportation any more in here and that’s wrong of me. i need to. so even though ashley was waiting for me, i delayed my return home to interview one of the broken escalators at the Wilshire and Vermont station. it was an eye-opening experience, and im sure fascinating reading for all.

ashley has left the casa and is heading back to Disneyland where she will audition to be in the Electrical Parade, or whatever they’re calling that parade now. it was a quick little visit where she got to spend a lot of time with one of her best friends. i totally enjoyed hanging out with both of them and i hope they didnt mind my seriously trashed apartment.

speaking of friends, my good pal Dan has an amazingly talented girlfriend named Sara who writes in a style that i like a lot. her journal is on diaryland and here is something that cracked me up yesterday.

You know when you have a dream about somebody and the next time you see them you maybe feel a little embarassed because in the dream you were doing something with them that you wouldn’t normally do in real life? When I woke up yesterday I felt that way about the whole world. God damn you, hangover.

i promise you that now that i will have lots of time to spend in the evening that this site will be back to its normal, mediocre self. strangely my man JC hasn’t seemed to care much about the recent decline in quality as he continues to bust with the bucks each day– i believe he has hit 10 days in a row of the flow. Dude! thank you.

my email box was flooded with people telling me that Cadillac has a new pick-up truck that i might be interested in if the Snoop DeVille is delayed in its progress. But at a MSRV of $50k, it’s gonna take an outpouring of generosity from more than a few of you. (cough)corporatesponsorship(cough). And a few folks even mentioned Shaq’s special edition Ford Expedition, the SST, but we’ll cross that bridge when we cross that bridge, as good ole #34 might say.

Speaking of which, happy 30th birthday, Shaq, you’ve been my favorite Laker for quite some time.

Auction update: a kind reader let me know that one reason that i have received over 1,000 hits to my new auction has to do with all the traffic from Who Would Buy That, a web site devoted to telling people about wacky auctions. I keep telling you, there’s a web site for everything. i lie, i’ve never told you that. anyway, they listed me on Saturday. maybe someone could tell me how i’ve only gotten two bids off 1,000 views? Ashley sems to think that you all would rather bid on her auctions. I blame Greenspan. And Bud Selig, of course.

She and her friend from Beantown took a cab from Irvine to see me. Can you imagine the insanity?

Her friend goes to BU and I guess she had a few extra dollars to spare after tuition, and she has an ex-boyfriend who was staying at the Standard on the Strip so we ordered some Vitos and took a bus down Sunset and dropped her off and took a taxi home. Good thing, too, cuz she’s nearly as gorgeous as Ashley and none of the drunken slobs on the bus could keep their eyes off the girls.

Sorry I tell stories all inside-out, but when we were heading to the Standard, around Western, a real winner with a greasy bag full of Der Wienerschnitzel left-overs stumbled onto the bus prompting one of the tattooed gentlemen to get up and slam open a window. The girls were thrilled.

I love Los Angeles, have I told you this?

I do.

When were sitting on the bus stop waiting for that bus by my house, it was like 10:45 pm, I had talked to my mom earlier that evening and she told me it was six degrees below zero in Chicago and there I was taking pictures of two cute girls at a bus stop in Hollywood, warm, full, happy.

This astrological month has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and it’s not even close to being over.

I haven’t even told you that I have a new auction up where I will visit the winner’s site for a month, and somehow already it’s gotten nearly 900 looks.

Then yesterday, this site writing about Google Bombs chose to include me, don’t ask me why, I don’t know what it has to do with their topic, but the site looks mighty professional and they didnt call me any bad names or anything, so that’s pretty sweet.

Dane Carlson wrote about me last week, I don’t know if I told you about that, he said nice things, so who cares if I told you once before.

But probably my favorite link has got to be “Christophe Ducamp’s Radio Weblog” cuz it’s in French, and I’m mentioned in the same breath as professional writers, and excellent people, Matt and Emmannuelle.

Sorry I have no crazy stories that I’m willing to share, other than theres a box of a thousand dollars of lingerie hopefully being sent to my PO Box — long story — it’s not for me, but because I am providing the “anonymous” PO Box for this lovely young lady, she is going to let me keep 10% of the contents to disperse in any way I choose fit, so I’m sure there will be something fun to write about in the future.

In the meantime enjoy this weather Californians.

Two Californians that should be hailed: Morgan Freeman, our friend, not the former Electric Company actor, and Clipper Girl, who not only finished the LA Marathon, but dominated. Clipper Girl tore her quadracep in the 25th mile and gutted it out till the end, despite ripping off her big toenail and sufferring through a chaffing chest due to not enough vaseline and too much water being doused on her. And still she had a totally respectable time– especially being that it was her first marathon.

And Miss USA, congratulations. Maybe this will encourage Extra to correct their website. [update 4:20pm PST, Extra has taken down the photo of Miss Delaware from Miss Washington DC’s profile, but now they have put Miss DC’s picture on Miss Delaware’s page. More on this important story as it develops.]

PS. Yes, JC has flowed me with a buck, again. You’re something, man.

from these tickets we got in this bust and they were pretty damn good seats.

i went with this guy who ive been partnered up with for a while. the Lakers, even without Kobe, who was suspended for bitch-slapping Reggie Miller, were so dominating that Houston was never really in the game. the Lakers will win it all again, mark my words.

so me and my bro talked about work, something i really dont like doing. i fessed up and told him that i hoped to leave the xbi by the end of the month and he seemed sorta shocked.

“you’re the best guy we have. youre the best one ive ever seen out there,” he said.

“it’s easy to be the best around you animals, all you ever do is shoot people.” i said.

“but… they’re crooks.”

it’s true, too. the people that get shot are some of the baddest people on the street. but most of us arent much better. the cops are sorta appreciative because they just cant run around and knock off these guys, and it’s not like the gangs help out any more. but it haunts me at night. i want to go to Heaven. i dont want St. Peter to say, “we gave you these superpowers and you used them to finance your love of travel, beautiful women, and courtside Laker tickets. follow the Bush’s down to Hell.”

(although if Peter gives me any shit, I’ll say, “you dissed Jesus three times before the cock crowed, mother f’er,” to which i’m sure he’ll answer with a quick pull of the lever connected to the trap door.)

and my partner said, “what will you do?”

i said, “i really want to write for a living, and i think i might have a very slim chance to get a gig doing it.”

and he said, “you could definately do that.”

and i said, “i’m not so sure, i dont have any clips.”

he said, “what about your site?”

and i drank a sip of the $11 domestic beer and said, “my site– sheesh, that thing is full of landmines. they could take something so fictional and think it’s real, or something so stupid and think that im a pervert or a drug fiend or a kiler or anything. i’ve never heard of anyone getting a legitimate writing job off of their fictionalized bs website of lies.”

he said, “Drudge has a radio show every Sunday.”

and i turned to him and said, “there is nothing about that man or his career that i want to pattern myself after. All that guy does is link to AOL news and the Washington Post and he tells us nothing. The only thing he ever did was make himself the bathroom wall for the Republicans to scribble on when people pretended to hate Clinton. he’s not interested in news. he’s not interested in being a journalist. at least hacks write. he doesnt even write.

and check this out, the Laker girl who was sitting on the court beneath us turned around and said, “Instapundit kicks Drudge’s ass,” and the Laker girl next to her agreed, but the best was when this guy with a yellow afro wig next to my partner asked, “who’s Drudge?”

and she’s playing tennis well too. Our favorite Russian beat Janette Husarova of Slovakia in straight sets Thursday 6-3, 6-4 at the Mexican Open, her best showing in years.

I think it’s cuz she switched her top to the white one and left the skort blue. She seems to think it has something to do with her backhand.

Once again, Anna, whatever.

But enough about her, let’s talk about you.

Readers of tonypierce.com, give yourselves a round of applause. Somehow the month of February was interesting enough to you that you told your friends and you visited often and you set an all-time site record in Average number of hits in a day (8,776), Average number of visits per day (581), and total visits in a month (14,544). For the short month of February you guys hit my page 219,406 times — second only to when the web exploded in September when I got 241,282 hits.

For all of this I say to you, thank you. There is nothing more satisfying for someone who makes something than to have people look at it.

I would also like to thank Noah for his buck, and thank you to JC who has flowed his fifth consecutive buck to the Snoop fund. Fine gentlemen, both of you.

One more bit of housekeeping, I mean self-promotion, I mean housekeeping. Thank you Instapundit, MetaTalk, and everyone else who linked my eBay auction. That auction has gotten over 3,000 hits which is pretty insane considering all it is is an auction to see whose site (or blog) I will link on my blog and links page. So far the bidding has errupted to a whopping $15. You still have until 9pm PST to get your bid in, so bid early and bid often. And keep in mind the records that were set this month, odds are more than a few visitors of this site will end up on the highest bidder’s site… which is the point, no?

Anyhow, I hope you all have a pleasant weekend, and if you’re running in the LA Marathon, I hope the wind is at your back and the smog is non-existant.

Me, I’ll be trying to find a tv station wise enough to show the Mexican Open which suddenly has much interest to me.

she wanted to chat with me and i wrote back and said, only if i can put it on my page, and she wrote back and said, if you chat with me you’ll be happy.

maybe im stubborn too, as it feels strange to admit that anna is right about some things.

in the chat i asked her why she was still wearing that dumb blue outfit even though she’s losing in it.

she said, why do you still have that auction up, even though no one has even bid one dollar. lol.

i said 🙁

she says its a secret.

i said how come youre being so nice to me.

she said, i read a book and thought of you.

and she said take the day off and get in that flying car, im in Acapulco, it isnt far. im about to go up against Mariana Oliva Diaz and i think i can beat her.

i said, you’re cocky about maybe beating a Mexican girl in Mexico?

she said yes. and then she said, and shes from Argentina.

i said do they have fish tacos in Alcapulco?

she said, they have suites the size of half the hotel, lobster, champaign, toasters and toast, pitchers of purified water, thin little mexican blanket rugs and ceramics filled with potpouri, and me.

and since the flying car isnt exactly my property, xbi property, formerly fbi property, so really, your property, i cant tell you whether or not i have flown to acalpulco to party with anna, but i can tell you that she beat the Argentinian soundly 6-3, 7-5, but she had a smile on her face and looked good in that raggedy suit.

you know you want your link on this page, with the proceeds going to the Snoop Fund, the one that JC has now given a buck to each day of this week bringing the fund up to $374. Gracias, JC.

and happy Black History Month

this will not bum me out, this will not bother me. nothing will bother me. stay focused.

this isnt shit. this isnt anything.

sometimes people just feel like they have to take it out on someone and today is your day. this month has been yours, this year is yours. these last twelve months is yours.

take it. take it like a man. bring it on. is that all you have. is that all they have.

that aint shit.

one thing about libras is we’re cool under pressure.

ice.

be ice, fucker.

not only does the buck stop here but you take the buck and you eat it and it doesnt come out anywhere.

it stops here.

this is the end, my only friend, the end.

this is pisces. this is what you said itd be. like when you were in the mountains. like when in “the shining” it was all nice and then the storm came.

bring it on.

i can take anything.

if it snows ride your snowmobile.

and when it shits, bust with the shitmobile.

but always be nice.

always be cool.

you can do this.

and you will do it with style.