Category Archives: Uncategorized

sometimes you say fuckit, im eating pancakes in the street

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expectations are everything

when you’re a baby you expect your bottom to be dry and your belly to be full.

if those expectations aren’t met, you cry until things change.

as we grow, we create unique ways to call bullshit.

not all of us are imaginative enough to take a tv tray, a fold up chair, pancakes and syrup

and march out to the street

and eat those damn pancakes in our night pants

but ive seen some things.

i had a girlfriend i loved so much who would call me constantly and just cry and cry.

theres only so much you can do on the telephone.

i had a boss at the xbi who would order me to take him up in chopper one

and just circle LA

id ask him where he wanted to go and he’d just say

find evil.

some nights there was no evil in LA, whattya gonna do.

so he made some.

sometimes life is just being there for someone else. someone you dont fully understand but someone who you either have to be around or want to be around.

but you have no fucking clue whats going on with them.

i say let them eat their pancakes

in the damn street.

topless.

it’s a free country.

 

what do you do if you want to see a festival

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but it’s in san diego

and fucking LIVE is gonna be there to ruin everything

but Kesha and Weezer and Janes and Ice Cube and Tom Petty are gonna be there

and Fishbone and Led Zeppelin 2 (?) and Machine Gun Kelly and Pepper

AND SHAQ and T-Pain and Garbage are gonna be there

and it’s just $100 a night

but screw San Diego.

in a perfect world id have a girlfriend

and we’d chill in TJ and cross the border every day

and drive back down and sip on Mexicokes and fish tacos

skinny dip in the pacific

and laugh about Smashmouth

and fall asleep saying

si

si

sssssssiiiiiiiii

the nice thing about the GOP totally melting down

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is this is what happens when you put all of your eggs into

old white dude billionaires

lack of experience

fucking liars

asswipes

greedy whining dipshits

and people who lie about omg loving the bible so much

who btw hate the troops, the elderly, the sick, the poor, minorities, women, the handicapable, and people on healthcare

the side effects are they are sexist racist homophobes who have massive ties to our enemies and lie about it constantly

poorly.

the nice thing about it is tv ratings for news channels are up, newspaper subscriptions are coming back, and

young people everywhere are seeing first hand that the GOP doesn’t give one fig about anyone other than the very rich, white, anglo saxons

who enjoy staying that way.

how so many of Congress can sign up for a healthcare bill that would drop over 20 million americans from being covered is shocking to me

especially those who consider themselves Christian.

what is Christian about telling a couple that if they want a baby, they need to pay the hospital $45,000?

what is Christian about taking away Meals on Wheels?

what is Christian about doing all of this simply because you have some bizarre political grudge against the previous president who heroically took this nation from the precipice of disaster and saved the auto industry, brought recovery to the economy, and gave millions of people the hope that he promised?

the best part of all of this is young people are seeing exactly the worst side of a party who never had the average american in its thoughts and prayers.

people should be allowed to do what they want in this life

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they should be able to love who they want

wear what they want

work where they want

live what they want.

people should be able to say whatever the fuck they want.

film what they want

rock out they way they want

and get paid off by whoever they want.

if people want to talk behind peoples back, they should be allowed to.

if people want to paint their house pink, they should be allowed to.

if they wanna drive 55, it should be ok

if they wanna drive 155, people should get outta the way.

if they wanna play the lottery

or fantasy baseball

or satanic verses

or nursery rhymes, everyone should say fuck yeah nursery rhymes.

people should not be able to use leaf blowers before noon.

garbage trucks should not be a thing until 11:30am

all bars should be open 24 hours a day

and banks, especially if they insist on being on every corner, should be forced to stay open until 10pm

and you should be allowed to do DMV activity in there

and also pay your rent

and your cable bill.

there should be free condoms everywhere.

there should be a pinball machine in every 7-11

kids should learn about sex and cooking and auto repair

starting in kindergarten

if a cop is found guilty of breaking the law,

they should get double the penalty as a non cop.

and if a cat is caught pooping inches away from the kitty litter box

instead of inside of it,

it should be set free to roam the streets of hollywood

since it wants to just poop wherever.

cats should be allowed to poop wherever

just not in my bachelor pad

of love.

and finally,

if someone wants me to like them back,

like like-like them back,

it is extremely easy:

trust me times a million

never lie to me

always do exactly what i say

never doubt me

and never cancel on me.

good things will happen.

i am not like your stupid dumbass lying ass boyfriends of years gone by.

i am the busblog.

but tony i love you

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some people actually do love me and thats sweet.

it’s hard to believe because i dont see the same person that they see

to me im still a teenager with a big floppy afro so massive it’s hard to fit a cubs hat over

im driving around in my grandmas cadillac, windows rolled down, exploring LA for the first time.

wrong about so many things. but trying to learn.

even though im so far removed from that, thats how i feel every day and when i see pictures of myself im like who’s grampa is that?

some things you have control over, some you dont have any.

so when pretty girls, who you tried week after week after week to have come over to your crib, say they love you, you think to yourself, then why did you make me jump through every hoop there was just to see you for an hour? if you loved me why did you make it so hard? if you loved me, why did everyone else in your life have no problem hanging with you, but for me it was pretty close to impossible?

the good thing about being as old as dirt is you have actual, real life experience to tap in to. and the best part about being someone who has never been married, is some of that experience revolves around dating.

and you might know a few things about love.

when i love someone there are no excuses. i will do everything. there are no obstacles. there are only paths. when i love someone there are no questions, instead a million answers. a variety of solutions. money is not an object, nor is time.

but when i want to avoid something, there are excuses on excuses on excuses.

and often there are lies.

these are the things teenage tony had to learn first hand, the hard way, over years.

and what old man busblog can write down in seconds.

dear tony, would you ever move to NYC

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i feel like everyone should live in either NYC, Chicago, SF, or LA.

of those i feel so lucky to have spent so much time in LA.

it’s been incredible to watch it change over the last 30 years.

id consider moving there if i was making hella money.

my rent here is right where it should be.

the only trick to renting is to get in low and stay there. hunker down.

i got so lucky. so many friends. so much love from Above.

it would take something very special for me to leave this good thing.

i suppose i could find myself in another good thing, real estate wise.

i suppose i could find a big bag of weed in the gutter.

i suppose a super hot girl out of nowhere could tell me on the phone that she thinks im so good looking

i suppose i could get a dream job.

all of these things have happened before.

why would they ever stop happening

unless i stopped believing.

so yes i could move to the top

of the best building of all

in nyc if i wanted

but do i wanna

is a better

quest

dear tony, crazy question for you

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let’s say you and i are getting it on.

it’s casual. sexy texts during the week. i send you a flood of nudes.

some amazingly not safe for work.

then i come over. i try on some outfits for you.

one thing leads to another and we part ways with beautiful smiles and la la la

whats the quickest way for me to end it all

and for you to hate me forever?

signed,

runway model

+ + +

dear runway model,

this couldn’t be an easier question for me.

arrange for a meet up on tuesday

reschedule it on tuesday for saturday

and on saturday, just hours before the rendezvous,

cancel it.

trust me, you’ll never hear from me again.

way down in louisiana down in new orleans

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drove a fancy dj girl around a little today

she told me she had gotten food poisoning from Cafe Gratitude

probably because they dont cook anything over there.

she asked, what are you playing?

i said, its the day after St. Paddys so i figured something chill

incase you had a hangover

she asked what is it what is it?

i said Wes Montgomery from his Blue Note era.

she said i love Wes Montgomery

so i turned it up a little.