20 20 24 hours ago

last night at this time i couldn’t look up

i could barely breathe.

i had the worst headache i had ever had in my life.

i thought, wow God, you’ve never shown me this level before.

i had the tv on but i had to look at the carpet. my dirty carpet.

everthing looked dirty in my house. everything was the cause of my illness.

my heater was on full blast, i was in my robe, trying to remember if i ate the cold pill already or if i needed one.

i could barely look at the computer but i did a search for Drixoral which was the one pill i knew could defeat the XBI poison

but, alas, the XBI forced it off the market years ago.

i took a sip of water. i tried a bite of a banana. nothing. i’d not eat for another 15 hours.

i slept. i woke. i slept more. i blew my nose into rally towels and tissues and wash rags.

in the morning i rose. would i barf? no.

i awoke to (in)appropriate photos on my phone, well wishes from dignitaries and my neighbor left a box of Girl Scout Cookies on my porch.

my mother reminded me that i always get sick around the Oscars and i do remember that one time that i had kidney stones around this time, so maybe shes right.

all of it was healing to me and i could lift my head.

i walked outside and around the block to the dry cleaners to get my suit for Monday’s Oscar Nomination Luncheon which I hope to work, and i saw a cockroach on its back, legs wiggling in the air

Death was indeed near

and when i returned a minute later

it was dead.

ive been sick all day

i woke up puking

puked at night too.

its my throat chamber. a little nose too.

if i die give everything to the truest.

give the rest to the ronald mcdonald house.

i drove past them today as i was coming back from the store.

ive lived here for so long and ive never donated anything to them.

hopefully i live long enough to give them some of my fucking kick ass clothes

and video games

id give em my baseball cards but do they even know who those old players are?

i guess thats how you learn.

tonight i watched two episodes of The Young Pope on HBO. so good. i watched it standing up because i kept having to blow my nose.

if i die put my body in a canoe on the lagoon at ucsb and have an archer shoot a flaming arrow at it and let it catch fire.

i used to want my ashes to be spread around wrigley but they have country concerts there now and other bullshit so fuckit.

isla vista lagoon.

flaming arrow

explosions.

let bands play.

kegs

bring yr own cup.

last night a sweet lady on rodeo drive lost her phone in my car

it’s a pain when this happens because it screws up your flow

if youre doing things right all of your mojo is about pick up drop off pick up drop off, keep it moving.

as long as the wheels are turning and somones in the car with you youre making that money

and i dont know about you but ive got a little bit of credit card debt that im trying to knock all the way down to zero and last week i only made $100 off uber, which isnt my goal, fyi

so i was rolling. one two three uber select rides in a row. it was great. until i realized #2 had left her phone in my car.

i had remembered what restaurant i had dropped her off in beverly hills so after i picked up and dropped off the screenwriter of Arrival(!) at the Roxy, i headed west to little santa monica to the new italian joint where she was dining.

heres my problem all of my passengers look the same to me in the back seat in the dark.

if youre white you look like amy adams to me. if youre black you look like lupita, my queen. if youre a dude you look like robin williams in popeye.

so there i am roaming around in this crowded nouveu restaurante and no one looks like amy adams. so i double back and go to my Waze to see if her home address got stored in there. it was, sorta, it was a range of addresses. i get there in a few minutes, park, walk up the walk, knock on the door, husband opens, he is shocked that the uber driver is arriving, dont be shocked its busblog who was raised right. was sorta expecting him to slip me a $20 but no, thats ok. i mosey back to the car because giving back to the hood is really what its all about anyways,

then today i get a phone call. i guess she wrote uber and uber gave her my number indirectly. she and i chat she tells me the restaurante is crap. i was all did you see Ryan Seacrest there? she said yeah he was at the table next to mine. i was all omg i was right there then. oh well. she says i wanna tip you. i say ah, just pay it forward to the next driver. she says no really.

so i say do you have Venmo. she says no. i say ah. she says but i will get it! so i text her my name on venmo (busblog) (duh) and she flowed me $40!

people really do win on MTV!

found a lady’s camera in my back seat the other day

so i turned off the thing and drove over to the restaurant i had dropped she and her sister at

spanish place. classy.

looked around didnt see her. talked to the hostess.

nothing. did a little report on the uber app.

couple days later no response so i opened it up

and it was a film camera.

old school like.

maybe she was giving it back to the Earth.

maybe i need to do something with it.

maybe its a magic camera

anna came over, she said she was worried

why do you have Merrick Garland as your Facebook profile pic? she asked.

how did you get in my house? i said in my pajamas holding a dripping flap jack flapper in one hand and a cat in the other.

ive had your key for 15 years busblog!

she looked good. she always does. but im a sucker mc. i try not to let pretty girls to get away with murder but i always give in. it might be my biggest flaw.

i said whats wrong with having merrick garland as my pic?

she said come ON, i love you because you’re way more than politics.

i was all baby the house is on fire the street is on fire.

the fire is on fire!

how am i supposed to talk about the new 2 Chainz joint or even an old one if all my records have melted because my entertainment station is on fire?!?!

she said i was over reacting. and my pancakes were on fire.

the cat leapt out of my hands, scratching me a little.

i said you have it made, youre american youre russian you dont mind peeing on girls in front of fat guys. your taxes are about to go down. but let me tell you something about those taxes of yours: theyre about to catch fire.

and then we made love on my waterbed because it was almost the same as a hot tub because the waterbed was on fire too.

and for that minute i was amazing.

people say theyve never seen anything like this before

but it’s not new.

when bush cheney was in office they lied just as much.

the difference was they were a little more slick about it.

they still got caught left and right for lying and creating bullshit distractions like the red orange yellow green alerts, which they never allowed turn green.

they still were exposed for having a gay male prostitute toss softball questions to the president.

someone who they gave a day pass to every day for two years.

they lied about 9/11, they lied about going to war with iraq, they lied about torture and haliburton and the saudis

they deleted multitudes more emails than hillary

they sent our economy into a tailspin affecting millions of americans which ended in a recession that was felt around the world.

and when you tried to debate people online back then, some dozen years ago, it was sorta like trying to do it now: they kicked back Rush Limbaugh lines instead of Sean Hannity lines or Breitbart lines but they didn’t know what they were saying.

and everything they echoed had something to do with national security as if this country had a reason to run scared

when all along the phone call was coming from inside the house.

today trumps spokesperson said the muslim ban er travel ban was a huge success despite the fact that it was imposed on people from countries that have not done us any harm.

hey look! this puppy hasn’t mauled me. success!

color me impressed.

RIP boiling the water

i have pretty girls saying they want me. then they cancel on me.

its like, just dont. im just a man.

then on Bumble, you think you have someone who is halfway normal: cool job, some decent chats back and forth

and then the red flags come up.

she says hey im gonna quit this app, heres my number, call or text.

i go, great, heres mine too.

then a few days later she goes hey my text is funky, heres my WhatsApp

and i think to myself, communication in my life is key. KEY.

no matter how smoking hot this girl is, no matter how great her job is, i cant text her to tell her i scored great tickets to somewhere or im running late or hey look at this fur bikini, what size are you again?

instead i either have to WhatsApp her or wait for her text to become unfunky?

i know maybe 2 million people. 3.5 million if i count trump supporters. you know how many of them have problems with their texting capabilities?

0.0

so suddenly i have to allow the one with funky texting issues into my squared circle?

forget it.

donald trump wont even let people who have been extreme vetted into the country and ive gotta let some gorgeous long haired asian beauty queen who lives like 15 minutes away into my heart and home

and she can’t even with her phone?

what has happened to this country?

is everything fraud on top of fraud?

what happened to, “yo, lets do this.”

“great, what time.”

“only time is now.”

“you got that right bb”

“be there asap.”

“whens that”

“10 minutes.”

“perfect, i’ll boil the water.”

“say what?”

“oh you’ll see.”

and then you fucking do see.

dear tony, did Uber do the right thing by capping Surge for today’s protests

tony,

people are deleting their uber apps for a variety of reasons.

today Uber said that they won’t have surges for people going to the airports to protest the Muslim Travel Ban. isn’t that a good thing?

signed,
Not Travis

Uber is hypersensitive about Surge and manipulates it – almost always – for the wrong reasons. This is no exception. Uber introduced Surge as being an incentive to Drivers to go places they weren’t at or go to events that are a royal pain in the ass.

Most people would say that driving to the airport on a normal day is a pain. Imagine driving there today when protesters are making things extremely slow and arduous?

If the Surge is capped at a low rate the person losing money on the deal isn’t Uber, it is the Driver. It’s the driver’s car, the driver’s time, the driver’s gas and insurance and headache – not Uber’s. Travis is enjoying a Sunday that will get him more “Booking Fees” than an average Sunday. He doesn’t care about Surge because he only gets 20-25% of that.

If the Surge is too low, drivers won’t leave their couch. The best way for Uber/Trump to fight these airport protests is to de-incentives Uber drivers from taking passengers to the crowded airports.

tony, I see your point, but it still seems like an equally viable explanation (to me) was that they were trying to make it easier for people to get there. Uber’s core value (I speculate) is not to help their drivers make money l, but to service their customers (and I apologize, knowing that you’re a driver, too, but their customers SHOULD be their focus). The screwing over of the employees not withstanding, might the corporate bigwigs not have been expecting a baseline of employee responsibility from their drivers and were instead trying to help out the customer?

It’s interesting how in this case the same action could literally be taken in exact opposite ways.

– not travis

I share your belief that Uber cares about the customer. So do we drivers. But again, Surge inspires drivers to get on the road. Which would a customer rather have: no uber cars available or uber cars available at the same price as cabs (which is typically what an uber at surge rates costs)?

Let’s say right now a driver takes someone from DTLA to LAX. What would inspire him to drive back to DTLA to pick up new passengers other than a generous surge? Nothing. Thus DTLA gets depleted of Uber cars, and the passengers there don’t get served. Surge helps replenish areas with high demand and fewer cars. To manipulate it, in my mind, does a disservice to all parties.

if you are considering deleting your uber app, sign up with Lyft and get $10 off your first trip

and now, Dan Rather

Today I shed a tear for the country I know and love, the one I believe still beats in the heart of most of its citizens.

The United States became the most powerful nation in the history of mankind not merely on the basis is its fearsome military, as lethal and well trained as that may be. It wasn’t solely based on its unprecedented economic engine, as dynamic and far-reaching as that may be. America’s greatness was forged by a Constitutional compact of grand and universal ideals that the country has tried to live up to ever since.

For generations, we have been an imperfect but vital beacon of freedom to a world too often wandering and failing in moral confusion. But that ultimate strength has dimmed considerably in light of the recent actions on immigration from the new President Donald Trump. We are turning around desperate refugees. We are singling out men, women, and children on the basis of their faith – and we are doing all of this with a randomness and capriciousness that defies reason.

A colleague of mine used the term “heartless” to describe so much ot the President’s executive actions. Sadly, I found it an apt and dispiriting diagnosis—especially when faced with the results of his executive order on immigration. For over the years, I have seen that our greatest American leaders extol empathy rather than condemnation. They have known that in a complicated world, it is best to make policy choices with a scalpel – not a hacksaw. Sometimes, when our national security is threatened at the level of World War II, all-out conflict is the only recourse. But those instances are by far the exception.

From Vietnam, to the Iraq War, from Japanese internment camps to the centuries-long persecution on the basis of race and ethnicity that almost toppled our democratic experiment, broad strokes channeling our least compassionate and most jingoistic impulses have always made us weaker rather than stronger.

Today, in the wake of his one-man decision to wreck and reverse immigration policy so suddenly, there is chaos and confusion mixed with heartbreak and fear. A well thought-out, measured overhaul of immigration policy, with organized-in-advance measures to implement that is one thing—and one that perhaps a majority of Americans would support, But this mess, created overnight, is quite another. With this, we have embolden our enemies who want to see nothing else than to compete in a world of moral relativism. In the Cold War, our struggles over civil rights fed into the propaganda of the Soviet Union – as our new actions fuel the extremism Mr. Trump claims to be attacking.

Too many people during the campaign explained away Mr. Trump’s irresponsible rhetoric as metaphors and euphemisms. These are not concepts he understands. Serious foreign policy experts know that this is a boon for our enemies and undermines our democratic principles. But too many Republican leaders in Congress, even ones that denounced the Muslim ban during the campaign, stand by cheering it now. History will mark their names, as it marks this moment.

This will be challenged in the courts, who may very well strike it down. But damage, real damage, has been done to our global image. I believe Vladimir Putin is smiling, and would-be global powers like China see a vacuum forming that they will be eager to fill.

I still remain optimistic that the vast majority of American people will recoil and speak out at this unwise policy. But whether we like it or not, as the detentions and impediments already springing up make all too real, this is the stated de facto policy of the United States today. Every day that it goes on, every day the chaos, confusion and heartbreak deepens, America loses more pieces of its soul and standing in the world.

— Dan Rather