my truest is concerned. she shouldnt be, back in the xbi days theyd poison us with worst than what ive got.

i had two delicious bowls of chunky beef soup today. childhood memories.

but something bad happened and they got hurled.

then my buddy joe called. i just wanted to lay down.

i havent even hooked up my sirius radio, nor unpacked it from my bag.

after the plane landed, i had dinner, couldnt wait to get home, and i stayed there till this morning when i went to work.

man i was dragging.

maybe i was poisoned.

someone wrote me a two word email today.

blame barrie,

cracked me up.

whitney’s bf writes for True Blood. i know!

after True Blood’s finale they went to Paris and we were all oooooo bro’s gonna pop the question to you.

so on top of the Eiffel Tower he gave her a loose diamond and said “no girl should leave the Eiffel Tower without a diamond”. when she came home with that story we were all no ring? no proposal? she was all, yeah. we were like ummmmmm okayyyy?

new years eve when they passed by the coffee shop where they first met bro got on his knee and put a ring on it.

we all found out via facebook

lots of labels “disable” the embed codes of their artists vids on youtube.

dumbest thing ever if you wanna spread your jams.

would record labels have figured out ipods and itunes if steve jobs wouldnta beat em to it?

hell no. yet they run around pretending that theyre doing something good by locking their videos up at one url instead of letting bloggers and others run what basically amounts to free commercials on their highly influential and conversational outlets.

rock n roll will never die, but hopefully these practices will.

not sick sick like puking or coughing

but ive got a runny nose and i dont feel very good.

yet im going to take a hot shower and go to work so they know i love em

i really wish i had a Sars mask.

meanwhile i have a message to all the women i know who feel the urge to stop blogging, or shut down their blogs, or shut down their twitter or facebooks,

instead of shutting down their boyfriends and/or ex-boyfriends who are making them miserable:

why are the smartest girls so un-smart when it comes to men?

its like they have this stone in their shoe and instead of pulling it out and whipping it as far into the ocean as they can, they somehow believe that that stone is part of them and they beat themselves up for not learning how to walk better with that stupid thing stuck to them.

when dinner is over you get up and leave.

when your shower is over you get out and leave.

when a relationship is over, you move on, just like how you do with every other part of your life.

its just like Hoarders, except youre now afraid/ashamed/sad about throwing out your trash that you keep pretending is something else.

that stone wants to be in the ocean, so send it there.

from the blogger’s mouth

(1) Do not tell me what to do, ever, in regards to anything.

(2) Do not be too nice, for example, do not sneakily commandeer my car while I am vacationing and have it detailed. While the gesture is nice, the methodology is creepy.

(3) Do not demand more of my time than I have already allotted you. I have a very specific rule in regards to dating, especially in its early stages, which requires that I spend no more than three nights, preferably not consecutive, per week with you.

(4) I repeat, do not remark how tall I am every time you see me. I might develop a complex.

(5) You may not ever comment on my love handles nor tell me that my boobs could be bigger. I might hit you.

read the rest of her list of demands here. and take note because something tells me shes not alone on the blogosphere.

that the best thing Beck did in the Aughts

only came out a month ago

and he was only a bit player in the background?

yeah its weird to me too, but i can deal with it.

it was probably the sniffling dude next to me in the middle seat of the plane

or all the sniffling and hacking people in the packed plane

or the below zero temps in TO and then the above 70 temps in LA

im a sensitive poet. my body freaks out at the lamest things.

but strangely, on new years eve, when this picture was taken, i slept perfectly fine.

how is any of this possible?

thanks to the (failed) Testicle Bomber the “enhanced security” at Toronto’s airport included a full blown pat down and intense search through all carry ons including babies.

my guy got closer to me than ive even been to myself, pulling up my underwear and even investigating the bottom of my Pumas.

good thing i didnt go commando like young Duane.

i dont mind the extra procedures, or even having to arrive at YYZ three-hours before takeoff. but what really had me scratching my head was why they allowed a lady on the plane who had been discovered to be traveling with a purple disposable lighter.

why if youre all in my business trying to detect exotic and unusual flamatory substances are you not detaining common devices? couldnt a few airplane bottles of booze and a lighter do damage? am i the crazy one?

fine, im the crazy one.

i gotta give it up to toronto

they have a difficult problem in this city because of the extreme weather,

they also want to be green.

however with an open lid, not only can wind blow the trash out of the can, but snow can fill it up.

with this ingenious design you open the lid by stepping on the lever with your foot (which is also far more sanitary than most other trash bins), and if you have recycleables you slide them into the slot.

not only does the city achieve their goal (clean city streets) but the citizens dont foul their hands in the process. bravo, TO!

(but probably wont cuz im a zombie dbag)

10. hang out with Danielle more than 2x a year. she lives in san diego, not san paolo. same goes for the rest of my friends. im a pretty horrible friend. theres nothing cute about that.

9. join a gym and actually use it. for some reason in 2009 i started running. i typically haul ass through hollywood around midnight and do a 10k. im incredibly lucky that i look about 90 years younger than my actual age despite eating mcdonalds as much as i do – clearly this luck will run out soon. so the plan is run the mile and a half to the gym, work out like The Situation, then run home.

8. get a washer/dryer for the crib, or move to a new pad that has one (and a hot tub). when i moved in to my bachelor pad i had no money, no credit, a horrible job, and no car. most of that has changed. i can now afford a washer dryer. im an adult. i shouldnt be cleaning my drawers at Lucy’s at 2am with crackheads and hookers REGARDLESS of how endlessly entertaining it is. not everything in life is blog fodder [ed note: nothing in here is true]

7. at least an hour reading the bible every sunday. a while back i made a new years resolution to read at least one chapter of the bible every sunday. i think it was the only resolution that actually turned into a long-term habit. it might also be the secret of any success i may have had over the years. only problem is, more sundays than i’d like to remember i look at the clock and its 11:15pm. i read the chapter in no time and go back to whatever nonsense i was doing. the purpose of the original resolution was to keep the sabbath holy. 15 minutes of last minute reading doesnt really accomplish that goal. not saying an hour will do the trick, but it’s a step in the right direction.

6. work harder and longer hours at the Times. truth of the matter is, i have no wife, kids, girlfriend, incredible hobbies. i am ridiculously lucky to be where i am in the dream job of my life. there are no guarantees that it will always be like this, so i should do as much as i can while im here, especially when theres always more to be done.

5. sock away at least 10% of my salary. i did pretty good saving in 2008, but a terrible job of doing it in 2009. i eat out way too much. i need to make lunch more and bring it into work instead of paying $8 for a five dolla foot long and an apple juice. that should help the savings right there.

4. read a book a month. this was on last years list and yet i only read three books in 2009 (Push, Paul Schaeffers book & Dave Navarros book). for a Lit major thats pretty pathetic. especially considering the fact that i read dozens of books each quarter in college While drinking While working for the school paper While working three jobs.

3. remember and embody the unpublished words of Bryn Speed. when i was in high school i created this character BS. in this unfinished story he tells this asswipe bf of this girl he likes that theres really only three things that men need to do in life: make love legendarily, provide handsomely for his loved ones, and make unforgettable art. Bryn said it in more frank terms, but those were different days.

2. see a film or a concert once a week. i live in hollywood. other than porn, movies and rock are our greatest exports. it shouldnt be that hard to enjoy the riches our little burb produces.

1. create magic once a month. and not just in canada.