if i get that call i need to drive an hour away to do an interview.
but i never am asleep at this hour.
so i am going to watch tv.
like a normal person.
even though all i wanna do is work.
i have not been this workaholic since i was first doing uber.
i remember once being at alis friends’s house on new years eve and i was checking my watch the whole time because all i wanted to do was drive
all i wanna do is make youtube videos for the podcast.
heres what i made on friday
when i go out to podcast people, i put my mics, chords and recorder in my camera bag
my camera bag is bulky and inefficient and hurts my shoulder
but i learned something interesting today:
if i take the camera out of the bag and strap it around my neck
and omg take pics,
it’s lighter
they say there should always be a story in your head about yourself
and you should def be the hero
although lots of times when i hear ppls stories theyre the victims
when i tell people about Hear in LA sometimes they’ll say oh you mean like People of New York?
but that thing, as good as it is, is often victim stories
which if thats your narrative, ok, but every sad song on the radio is a victim story
i want to hear about what happens after the clouds part
and youve survived the storm
what did you do with your second lease on life?
who did you help?
what did you add?
at the begining of the Plague, miley cyrus was being interviewed about her love life
she said she was single and looking but she wanted someone who could
bring something to the table
which might be tough when its the miley cyrus table
but should it be?
you dont think miley wants things outside of money fame power and funny clothes?
you dont think theres something deeper than
what magazine pages tells us?
im pretty sure that if you are a child star who actually makes it as an adult star
all the things in Star magazine mean nothing to you
because youve seen how shallow they are IRL
and at the end of the day you still have to crawl into bed with not just that
person
but with you.
and you know whassup
does miley want me and not know it
yes, but what will miley bring to my table
do i even have a table?
i do, it holds my toaster
and on the east coast it’s about to get walloped with rain and flooding
meanwhile here in the west we are trying to ignoring a terrible drought.
in the middle east all hells breaking loose
and here in the land of the free people are doing their best to stay ignorant about this covid thing
on top of that things are more expensive than ever
buying a house in california is damn near impossible for an honest man
and the list can go on and on and on
it makes me a little bit happy about not bringing children into this world because wtf
they dont deserve this
and how are they supposed to fix it
but this is how crazy i am
if the right woman said omg tony pierce
in the right way
for the right amount of time
id do the not right thing
and poor little babyblog would be born
into this toilet earth
which is why i really hope God is up there
and i hope we are truly forgiven
i talked with Glen for close to an hour.
such a great guy.
he told me about his dad and how he met his mom in Taiwan
and how he was in the air force
and how he bought this motel and is gonna fill it with homeless people
and teach them great things
and then he asked me what i was up to
i told him about this community fridge i finally found near my apartment
he gave me extra food to put in there.
even a case of beer!
(i kept have the beer for myself)
brought the trash cans in
then stayed inside the rest of the day seeing if anyone liked my thing
crazy result:
only three people said anything
even though hundreds saw it.
best reaction was from the interviewee who said
it was excellent, and it made him cry.
i had such a hard time advertising it because i didn’t want to exploit the tragedy
i just hoped they could make it to 20 minutes in.
hans did!
i procrastinated all day
talked to two homeless guys
talked to my mom
walked around
wrote a blog post about getting vaxxed
three of my friends are not vaxxed and one of them wanted to push my buttons about my stance.
finally i got around to doing work
why do i procrastinate THAT?
i know why
because i am so scared it wont take off one day
and i’ll have to go back and do crappy work
with bosses who dont appreciate me
and then that’ll be it with my life
granted, thats a lot of pressure to put on a dumb podcast
and maybe thats one reason i do everythign i can to make it rock
instagram, website, videos,
on top of the podcast
and its not dumb, fyi
the one that drops today will be the most emotional one yet
but will people notice?
will they say i was good?
the man was crying and i — was i sensitive?
they say Libras are the worst people to cry around because we dont have emotions
we cant. we’re supposed to be the rock in the storm
the center of the hurricane.
and i’ll tell you this much: i fucking love being the center of the hurricane
rage, dude
rage!
Recently on Instagram & Facebook I have put up some posts that have raised some questions from some very good people.
I will address them here.
Tony, how does the vax help you from spreading it to your neighbors? The only people I know who have gotten it lately are people who are vaccinated. And they are also the ones that have not been wearing masks n are socializing a lot.
According to the World Health Organization, getting vaccinated helps your body prepare for when it really gets attacked by the virus.
When our body receives a tiny version of the disease it fights it off and not only creates antibodies but when it is met again with the disease – even in a more powerful form – it has a memory of the initial engagement and is able to fight the disease again much quicker.
Not everyone can receive vaccinations, though. This makes it more important for those of us who can to do so in order to raise the herd immunity.
Forcing anyone to do anything with their body is not love. FEEL into it and tell me different.
I know this might sound like I am dismissing your statement, but I swear I am not.
I don’t believe I can force anyone into doing anything. Likewise I don’t think anyone can force me into doing things I don’t want to do. What I am doing is what I have done from the moment I could read and write: I am sharing my opinion about things.
I am very sorry if it feels like I am forcing my beliefs onto you. I know I can often have strong opinions. I am not as nuanced as those who I admire.
When you say get the jab or die, are you acting from love or are you spreading fear and trying to control using a mask of love?
If you are referring to this cartoon I posted. My caption to it is “Is this where we’re at?”
I was truly asking a question.
But really it is a question less about those who choose not to get vaxxed but those of us who are in angst thinking about our friends and neighbors who are not getting vaxxed. For so many people, including myself, this isn’t even a debatable proposition: there’s a deadly thing out there, scientists around the world worked together to fight it, it’s here in the nick of time, get the shot.
But now there’s this unprecedented aversion to getting the shot by many and Everyone seems stressed out. So when I saw that cartoon I saw it as “just give up on the battle, Tony. People are adults. They have made countless decisions that have worked out. Don’t fight it.”
Thus I asked, “is this where we’re at?” aka acceptance that if the worst outcome happens it wont hurt us as much because we have already washed our hands to it.
Do you really love your neighbor no matter what choices they are making or do you want to control them, pretending to care cuz really you just want to get back to your life? Maybe the higher “test” here is about actually loving your neighbor, as they are. About choosing to love despite difficult circumstances. Choosing to act as a unifying force in love and not creating more fear, divide and control w your words.
My next door neighbor voted for Trump, listens to right wing conspiracy theory YouTube stuff, and watches Fox News. Only because his job made him do it did he get jabbed. But I love him for many reasons. We have a shared love of classic rock, for example, that I try to focus on whenever the discussion goes to politics.
My church recently had a sermon about the line in Matthew about loving our neighbor and loving our enemies. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus basically says big deal if you love those who already love you… “if you love those who love you, what reward have you?”
Loving those who are different than us is one of the signs … to the world… that we are following in Jesus’s path. I did not consciously do that with my neighbor. But the church was talking about Trump supporters in general and how we should do our best to try not to demonize them or anyone who does not share in our beliefs.
Broader, I do care about my neighbors. Those who live in a controversial church, those who hog up the parking, those who talk trash about California. But I don’t give myself credit for that. I feel like I was born with it. I am always trying to look at the good in people. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism so I don’t slide into a dark EMO abyss. But I do love people – and am not pretending to do so in this case.
We are all going to die. I just don’t want it to be from something relatively easily preventable.
But bigger than that — if the ICUs and hospitals are packed with COVID patients, most of whom are not vaccinated, and people who are rushed in that ER for heart attacks, stabbings, gun shot wounds, accidents, and other emergencies are not able to get a bed bc of the COVID patients… that makes me incredibly sad.
What would Jesus do? I’m not religious but I know what coercion feels like, I know fear, I know control. I also know what Covid feels like as an essential worker. I choose love.
I have no idea what Jesus would do. Even though I have read the Good Book several times, Jesus was a complicated person who not only spoke in parables but did unexpected things.
That’s why I usually revert back to his final commandment. I do this because I feel like he was just as confused with Earth and humans as humans were confused by him. Ultimately he sorta threw his hands up and said, you know what, fuck everything else… just love each other. Love each other like I have loved you.
Again I don’t believe I am capable of making anyone do anything. Otherwise I would have a ton more Patreons on my podcast 🙂
I think that my love language is… language. I call them how I see them. In public. Every day. Often about silly matters. Sometimes about serious things. This is very serious.
Do you know you have friends who are not vaccinated? [names redacted] Do u think that u are better able to make our choices for us?
I do know about one of them. I was not aware of the others.
I will tell you a little secret. I feel I have zero influence in the world. I have the lowest self esteem of anyone you know. When I write in this blog how blown away I am by something, or grateful that this or that thing happened to me… even decades later… it is because I am still amazed that it happened to me. Girls kissing me, jobs working out, awards being handed to me, the Cubs winning the World Series… very few of those things feel real to me. Those are things that happen to others, not me.
Therefore I, in no way, feel like I know better. All I know is what I see and read and trust.
In this instance it appears that the data is overwhelmingly one-sided: it is safer to get vaccinated than to not get vaccinated.
But one difference about me than most people: I seem to be less afraid to state my opinions in public and have open conversations with Everyone than your average bear. Therefore I don’t see why I should change that pattern on this matter… one that has affected life on Earth more than any one thing in our lifetime.
Tony, for years I have known that your diet is not of the highest nutritional value. That is known to cause early death and all numbers of problems. Do you want to be forced to “eat right” or do you appreciate the fact that we don’t know your body and we love your quirks and….let you live your life.
It is true that I am not the healthiest eater. Over the years I have made progress, but it is only because of friends and loved ones constantly nudging me and talking with me and cooking good things and pushing me.
Sometimes it really does take a village. I love my village and I love you for keeping it real. Two of my neighbors are vegans and we talk about that life all the time. My assistant at the LA Times is a vegan and taught me soooo much.
None of them can force me to eat right. But by their example and by their conversations with me, I am on a far better path than where I was. Thank God for all of them.
Controlling people to make the world “safe” is an illusion and is not love. The only reason I reach out to you to say this is cuz…I know you do love and I know that you are not pig headed or abusive in your debates. Are you creating more compassionate unity or are you creating more division and judgement w your words? And apparently on the other side of that illusion stands people you know and love.
Again I don’t believe I can control anyone. I can’t even control myself! I should have been working on work this afternoon but I am writing this because I have huge respect for these questions and those who are asking them.
I have no idea if I am creating compassionate unity or division. Obviously I don’t want to divide. I am not so naive to think my words do absolutely nothing. But in a weird way I look at them as butterflies: they go wherever they go and I have zero control over where they land and if they inspire people or repulse them.
All I know at the end of the day is I am driven to write down what I think as honestly as I can and as clearly as I can.
In that sense I am trying to lead by example. I am not saying my beliefs are The Way, I am suggesting that having an open dialogue will lead to the compassionate unity I think you are talking about… whereas the lack of communication can lead to division and judgement.
Thank you soooo much for engaging with me and not letting these questions fester inside.
was to make it weird
very weird
unpredictable
freaky.
and for some reason i held back.
for some reason i was always wanting a job or something and i was nervous that someone would read this and be all, forget that guy, he cray.
but i am cray.
youd have to be cray not to be these days
but to me the craziest thing to do is give a fuck
also, why are we giving
shouldnt our fucks have value?
pay for the fucks.
and since no ones paying
lets not give.
everything good that has happened to me over the last twenty years was because of this blog
so for that i want to thank ev and the team at blogger, and then google
i want to thank the terrible conditions i was under at E! which inspired me to blog and not give a shit if i got fired
and i want to thank all of the people who have read and commented on here. it was all energy that kept this thing rolling.
one of the things they teach you when youre a poetry major is walt whitman and his famous collection of poems, “leaves of grass”
i couldnt understand at first why he would write a book of a dozen poems and keep fiddling with it year after year, finally winding up with 400 poems in his Deathbed Edition.
this blog started with a stutter. i had a perfectly good website so i created this blog to advertise what i was doing on it.
once i learned what a blog “should be” and could be, i cut down on my photo essays.
although 20 years later, it is interesting how Dear Kids of Afghanistan, a photo essay i did soon after 9/11, sadly still relevant. it became the first thing of mine to go viral.
it’s always the dark ones.
even though i have added to this blog from different countries, hotel rooms, and boudoirs, the bulkload of it has been written in the same hollywood bachelor pad ive inhabited for those entire 20 years.
so thank you ken layne for moving out in 2001 so i could move in here.
and thank you Geena Davis, the old tenant in apartment 8 who rented me this great place for below market rate even though i didnt have my job at E! yet
i had bad credit, and i couldnt even afford a car.
thus i rode the bus.
i drive a mercedes benz now,
thanks to this blog.
lets see what podcasting does for me now.