most notably the Vivid Video one on showtime. Debbie Does Dallas Again or something. its like a behind the scenes look at them making not just one debbie does dallas remake but two. one is your typical dumb porno, the other is alt-porn with like some bondage and some squirting probably and clothes bought at hot topic instead of strippers r us.

the tudors were on tonight and i knew she would be watching it and who knows she might even be reading this blog and if she is well, good, she should. its still the busblog. king of beers.

something i like to do on the holidays is get a couple of meals at the Pantry and give em to some homeless dudes. today i was headed over there and i couldnt get across figueroa because they were having some easter parade. who the hell has easter parades in LA?

downtown, i’ll tell you, LA’s vacant lot.

i know theyre fixing it up but still. it feels like something that used to be something but is now just a place for kids to fuck around in and for junkies to get high. i went to one of the traffic cops and said i was trying to get to the pantry and he said, then you have a problem. so i went to the bbq king but had to speed home to attend two live fantasy drafts so the homeless lose again.

even on easter.

holiest of holiest days.

its 420am, so technically its today, monday. so today is opening day for the dodgers, but more importantly its opening day for the cubs. which means a day off. but it will be a working day off because im going to get all my taxes together because i am having them done tomorrow.

strangely being a pro blogger involves a lot of write offs, so tomorrow i have to do something that i hate doing – going back in time by looking at pretty much everything that i spent with my debt credit card last year.

i hate the past. most of the past. even last year.

especially last year.

except of course for landing this job. the perfect one. and driving around the country

and kissing all those girls

and seeing all those bands.

now that i put it that way i still dont wanna look back.

the cubs were in last place

i was fired.

girls rebelled en masse

i was sued by my landlord

i was vomiting a lot,

and i was on my way to losing 2/3rds of the busblog audience.

needless to say im in favor of the flat tax.

april is emotional enough.

i hope you had a happy Easter

i could marry you. or visit you in jail. or officiate your funeral. but i probably wont do any of those things.

im a pretty bad ordained minister.

i would preach that easter is the day that the Lord said and for my last trick…

i would tell everyone that easter is the day that we begin to learn what it means by if you had the faith of a mustard seed you could move a mountain.

i dated a girl who told me that maybe there isnt a football team in LA so i wouldnt be distracted on sundays.

her vagina had no odor whatsoever.

angels, i tell you. all around us.

some people see police in the shadows. or narcs. or murderers. i see sluts.

i see people who have an extra bag of weed on em that theyd feel a lot better without.

and i know you have seen them too.

i would tell people, after the football games had ended, that the world is tilted over because we have too much greatness, too much sexy, too much love. but we dont have enough faith which is why we cant move the mountains to balance out the love.

i wouldnt have altar boys.

id have robots.

and i wouldnt have a collection plate.

because for some reason i dont remember Jesus ever asking for money from people in church of all places.

so its 420am on Easter morn. Lent was over 4 hours and 20 minutes ago. how do i know? because i went to jack in the box 4 hours ago and got a chicken bacon sandwich, two tacos, a coke, And curly fries.

bitch.

are we in april already?

Azreal Darkskies was nice enough to interview me for poetry month even though i havent written a poem in several thousand years.

but he has a link to an mp3 by the balancing act, one of my all time favorite LA bands who are so superunknown it’s actually amazing. amazing because it makes you wonder how many other really great bands are just waiting out there for you to discover them, like digging just below the surface of your backyard and finding dinosaur bones.

or in this case gold.

What does Tony Pierce define as poetry?

Words magically turned to art.

Any form or meter or structure you’re fond of?

sometimes you just rip off each others clothes and knock over things and bang the hell out of each other like animals. sometimes youre gentle and slow and soft and caring and you whisper sweet things and bang hard at the end. sometimes you just slip a blanket over her skirt on the crowded plane sneak a hand under the blanket and just barely move one finger. meter and structure should fit the scene and the
mood.

Do you think poetry isn’t as respected a medium as it should be?

poetry is respected. the modern poet however is justly ridiculed.

What’re your thoughts on words?

they’re one of the few great equalizers. a huge dick being another.

read the rest of the interview here, and it includes one of my favorite baseball poems, and not just because it involves a dude from the white sox getting punched in the face.

we took the subway and walked what seemed like ten blocks. i guess i wouldnta noticed if i wasnt with a girl. the strange part was walking there i liked her and walking back i didnt.

which didnt mean that i wouldnt have protected her any less if anything crossed our path. to the death. to the pain! but i did walk a little bit apart from her.

we stopped off at the subway sandwich place where they have several different kinds of breads.

she said, my friend told me that im a “solid 8”. can you believe that?

the girl is stunning, but so is a computer monitor when you first get it out of the box. soon it becomes just a computer monitor.

she said again, can you believe that?

i was all, well, there are no tens.

shocked she said, thats what he said.

and ive gotta deduct a half point for not being the slightest bit lesbianic and a half point for not being into anal. which makes you an 8 before we even really get started.

i took a bite out of my footlong. ive been getting footlongs lately. they still cut it in half for you though.

when i looked up i got the sneaking suspicion that i had offended my date. her mouth was wide open and she hadnt even touched her side salad.

aparantly no one had ever even joked about her being less than a ten, which she was, despite her radical heterosexual leanings. the anal could be worked on.

no baby, youre a ten. have no fear. i just dont think i can date a yankee fan.

and later we split a bowl of soup.

the noisettes

myspace + oszajca

with the ladies and im starting to think that now im dating women too old.

to test that theory im taking this one that im not so sure about to the mars volta show at the orpheum. shes lucky its there and not the troubadour like last night because the orpheum has seats.

why am i with people who need to sit down for an hour an a half?

i went to burbank today to look for cameras because i saw this picture of leah that she posed for in texas and i was all, no damn texan is gonna beat me at picture takin!

theres a little brew haha about the tribune company selling the la times and all these other things to another chicagoian.

now in my heart im a chicagoian, but i must admit that what the last ones did to the LA Times was pretty crappy. and i wonder why it couldnt sell the Times separately like theyre gonna do with the Cubs.

my mom called me today to tell me that Bill Murray is rumored to be collecting an investment group to buy the team, and on pardon the interruption there is a buzz about Mark Cuban buying

my team.

may i say that i would like to see murray and cuban work together to make this happen. let cuban be the owner if murray can be president of the team.

i would also ask that whoever buys the team tear down those ridiculous lights.

the velvets were one of my faves

of all time.