drafts on saturday

League ID#: 79513
League Name: busblog1
Password: blogger
Draft Type: Live Draft
Draft Time: Sat Oct 28 12:30pm PDT
Max Teams: 18
Scoring Type: Head-to-Head
Max Moves: No maximum
Max Trades: No maximum
Trade Reject Time: 2
Trade End Date: March 8, 2007
Waiver Time: 2 days
Can’t Cut List Provider: None
Trade Review: Commissioner
Post Draft Players: Follow Waiver Rules
Weekly Deadline: Daily – Tomorrow
Start Scoring on: Week 1
Roster Positions: PG, PG, SG, G, SF, PF, F, C, C, Util, BN, BN, BN
Stat Categories: FGA, FG%, FT%, 3PTM, PTS, OREB, REB, AST, ST, BLK, TO

if this fills up today we will have a second league.

basically the busblog league is for serious GMs who have played a few times before, dont find it necessary to engage in the childish behavior of sexually based smack talk, but instead find solace in aquiring the best group of atheletes and bringing them to the playoffs

where they will be stomped by my mighty squad.

ruthlessly and without mercy.

its a good league, theres activity every day, bad trades are vetoed, and public transparent gripes are recommended on the message boards.

since i will be winning, and all.

you can access it by clicking here.

jackie the jokeman is part of the free trial. you can hear his Joke Hunt show today. its pretty horrible. but sometimes thats funny. heres a joke he told a few weeks ago while i was on the road listening to Sirius 8 hours a day:

“how do you get a gay guy to fuck a girl?
fill her pussy with shit.”

jackies not the reason that people are signing up to sirius.

i watched the Joan Rivers stand up on Bravo. pretty good. shes got tons of energy. i dont know how she does it. seems like she remembers her jokes pretty well still. i usually love her but some of the jokes fell flat. still shes fearless and i love that about her.

its been two days and i still havent gone to santa barbara yet. theres been two days of non stop news coming into the LAist email box. only a fool would drive to SB for no real good reason just for a little news piece that even the college paper isnt interested in.

turns out theres a bunch of kids sleeping under storke tower every night to protest a few things up there including an apartment complex that kicked everyone out, affirmative action, and a missing $3.2 million.

nothing juicy. i might just wait till friday when i hope to go to IV for halloween.

im prepared to go as Borat in that one piece bathing suit of his.

i miss traveling a great deal. a good friend could be using my place if i wasnt using this place. its very sad.

because i like to sit on the couch and eat and listen to music while i type, today i realized i could easilly just rent the garage of a rich person’s house. a garage they dont use any more and remodeled.

the only things that disturb me are the weird noises from around the grounds. weird slammings and clompings. people yelling. all i want is a little peace and quiet to get my nonsense together.

today i wrote a headline about the Kenny Rogers cheating scandal that maybe three people got, but whatever. plus two blogs that i love linked to it so maybe they were two out of the three.

smudge fisked.

i laughed and got a bucket of shrimp and put it under hot water for a few minutes and laughed some more.

then i microwaved a potato and cracked open a can of coke.

best sound ever not emitted from a woman.

plus i dont even live there.

to which i say yeah. you’re probably right.

but heres what we covered today anyways

– UCLA was superclose to beating Notre Dame but choked by allowing a three-pass 80 yard march to Touchdown Jesus.
– How to Get an Absentee Ballot while staying Online
– Today was the iPod’s birthday and a few other pretty famous people
– Make Your Own Bus Stop Kit (couch not included)
– How to Get your old Mac shit into your new MacBook
– The entire George Brett Pine Tar Incident (9 minutes long)
– Rocket, Yo La Tengo, Margaret Cho, Abe Vigoda (no, not Fish), D.O.A., The Bad Samaritans, and Metal Skool all played tonight. be jealous.
– 5 stories about YouTube and one funny thing that got a brotha fired
– 4 Facts about our Santa Ana winds. ok fine, this ONE is soooo LA i can understand if you wouldnt be into it.
– 6 scary videos of universal appeal
– Wee Shu Min has more than a mouthful… i mean Get an 80 hour Tivo with 1 year of service for just $125
– Decemberists rule live even in October
– the lady from Will & Grace has a crappy talk show by our boy Anti
– what McDonalds Monopoly pieces you should keep an eye on
– The Man, poking through Snoop Dogg’s computer bag, busts him for having an 8″ baton – flaccid

photo of Kira who, if you live in Iowa could use a place to crash in a few weeks

best living director

to everyone who was nice to me on my birthday and before my birthday and after my birthday. that goes to everyone who wrote me nice comments on here, on my myspace, and on my gay facebook which the whole world seems to be on now.

i want to thank everyone who came over to my place for my party, and for the people who surprised me on my birthday and showered me with gifts and love. i have always said that i have the best friends and its true. i do. when people jump off bridges or go into amish school houses with ky jelly and guns, or out covert cia agents because their husbands wrote op-ed pieces in the ny times, its probably because they dont have good friends to keep them grounded and feeling loved.

i also want to thank clipper girl for calling me throughout my cross country road trip and promising over several phone calls to make sweet love with me on my birthday, and then missing my party and calling me the next day, my actualy birthday, and having this exchange with me:

her: how was your party?
me: good. but i sorta expected you to be there.
her: yeah well i had another party to go to.
me: yes i know, and you said you’d come to mine afterwards, since mine started later.
her: yeah whatever.
me: was i crazy to expect you to come?
her: *click*

thank you for saving me from your diseased mouth and snatch. thank you for saving me from more boring and soulless sex, thank you for saving me from more selfish behavior on your part, and also thank you for saving me from being connected to anna kournikova through you. i look forward to this year being clean of you, your slutty cousin who kisses way better than you, and your ridiculous never-won-a-tennis-championship bff. i am always way too nice to all of you hos and in return you each treat me like shit, only interested in me when youre drunk horny and lonely and the homeless turn you down, again. all the worst to all of you.

id also like to thank my momma for the envelope full of money. i was going to use it for christina aguelera tickets today but then i realized that i will probably be in austin texas for sxsw. i guess i will have to see xtina, the pussycat dolls, and danity kane in some other locale than staples.

i learned many things from this trip. one of the lessons was, you think you know whats over that mountain, but you dont. it might be the endless stretches of utah, it might be the endless stretches of wyoming, or it might be the grand fucking canyon. but the only way you will ever find out whats over there is to go over there and check it out. read what wikipedia says about it later, but go there yourself, preferably alone, and examine it and figure it out yourself.

today im going to santa barbara to find out what the hells going on with my school.

fluent in java script as well as klingon

to post one of your favorite posts, which is something that i will do this evening, with some of my favorite olde pics:

i was dead. i was somewhere outside death valley california in a whorehouse.

kurt cobain was downstairs watching a cockfight. i had just played the a pinball machine that allowed me to tie up loose ends via some esp bullshit that allowed angels to read my mind and do whatever dirty deeds i hadn’t been able to complete before my untimely demise.

upon completion i got a high five from kurt, which i believe might just had been his very first high five ever, and i was escorted upstairs by

twin japanese catholic school runaways

with tattoos and wicked smiles on their faces.

the room we entered was perfumed and pink and soft and in the center was a round bed that rotated ever so slowly. mirrors everywhere, disco ball, disco music, fog machine, bubble machine, porn on twenty thirteen-inch tvs and shag carpet on the walls on the floors on the ceilings.

only rugs in the place, if you know what i mean.

the twins spoke simultaneously. one stroked my fro the other rubbed my feet. i reclined on the bed as they disrobed me and complimented my dull dough.

we like little bellies.

ooooo we like hair chests.

ooooooooooh we really like scars. that’s right you were in the xbi.

they were dripping. they were visually excited. cheeks flushed, nipples poking out from sheer nasty brasseries. they had garters with bows, chokers with leashes, thigh high boots, glitter, lip gloss, lust.

i was floating inches above the bed as were they so they strapped me down. and told me this.

this is the bonus round. welcome to the bonus round. here is the question, a question that you should know the answer to, and for each correct response, from out of that door will enter a woman, one more beautiful than the next, one more sultry and intelligent and wild and soothing. trust us when we tell you that you will love every moment with every woman and you will be able to have each of them all at the same time.

all we need to know from you is for you to name each of the ten commandments. for each one you get right, a woman will join us.

ah heaven, i said.

the one above fed me grapes. on earth i never liked grapes. in this room i loved them, the juices dripped down my cheek.

thou shalt not steal, i said.

a redhead with long legs, red all over, black stockings, high heels entered.

thall shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.

blonde, blonde, white stockings, pink trim, white shoes, perky boobs, baby doll tshirt that said busblog preshrunk so as to allow her bellybutton to peek under.

was that a diamond in her belly pierce? of course it was.

honor your mother and father, keep the sabbath holy.

two punk rock girls crawled in like cats. one had dyed pink hair, the other dyed red. they made out with each other. their stockings were torn, their leather miniskirts shined in the flashing lights. they rolled around. they bit. they drew blood. they licked the blood and looked at me. i said hi. they growled.

don’t lust after your neighbor.

the twins looked at each other. a bell rang. the judges had accepted the answer.

a woman who looked just like lindsey lohan but not really walked through the door. she had on a long white fur. full length. diamond choker. she opened her coat. nearly blinded us all. whitest woman around. looked like a statue. gorgeous.

thou shalt not kill.

skaterchick with ripped jeans and a tight baseball shirt ollied over the writhing punkers and told me she read my blog every damn day.

have no other gods than the Lord

a lightskinned black woman who looked like a young mariah carey entered in a pink bikini. she sang like an angel. she told me that she would lick my entire body. i thanked her for the offer and said,

thou shalt not commit adultery.

and a woman who looked like a black Princess Diana appeared. sounded like her too. quite.

i counted nine girls. what could the tenth be?

the asian princesses told me that if i got this one right that i could spend the entire day with all of the women and unlike on earth there would be no “down time” and gazed down at “little tone” which had never looked so majestic and wonderful.

the women who had lined up for me couldn’t stand still. they all wanted me so badly. they whispered some of the poems i had written and touched themselves. some touched each other.

for the life of me i couldn’t remember the last one.

and then, i said,

do not bear false witness upon your neighbor.

and they came charging at me, and trailing the pack, was a woman who looked just like marilyn monroe, who, when she entered floated slowly past the others and landed next to me and kissed me right on the forehead.

and unlatched my restraints.

which is why i had to lie all those years and say i was 108 when i was actually much younger.

but since tomorrow is a milestone of sorts, the powers that be decided that it would reveal that im not about to turn 114, but an even 100.

so i figured id beat them to it. so there.

now, since its now ok in this post to tell the truth, i can tell you that the best thing that i learned on my roadtrip is that an old car can really make it around this country pretty well.

it started as a 114k mile nissan sentra. and is now in the 120’s. and all i had to do was check its oil every other fillup.

it took hills fine, the breaks were good, and the Sirius satellite stereo worked pretty much everywhere except under overpasses and in garages.

i learned that God and Jesus are all over the usa. in weird places like billboards advertising motels. im as big a Jesus freak as the next guy but i dont need a fish symbol inder the AAA logo. but thanks.

in my 100 years, my favorite time was probably the 80s. the bears won the superbowl, the cubs were in the playoffs twice, the bulls were begining their domanance. music was creative, metal was huge, gas was cheap, and weird things like the tuition at santa monica college was $50 a quarter.

ah the 80s. it was good to be 80 in the 80s.

that whole time i didnt have a gray hair. then bush came and forget black or gray, i just lost all of it.

im old but i still havent seen the cubs win the world series and thats not a good thing because it looks like theyre going backwards, not forwards.

ernie banks used to say that sometimes you have to back up to get a good running start, and i hope thats the case.

so tonight i will prepare for letting new girls know that theyre standing in front of their opportunity to kiss a hundred year old man. which is pretty awesome if you think about it.

heres to another century of easy livin.

tp

i wouldnt want to read LAist.” to them i say, then youre missing out bubba.

Here’s some of what was covered just yesterday:

– Yes on Prop 89, and not just because the LA Times and other Big Businesses are against it.
– Some people still don’t believe, even after a jury says he did it on purpose, that an old man would plow through a crowd of youngins on purpose.
– Michael J. Fox wants Missouri to get their heads out of their asses.
– “Marie Antoinette” probably sucks
– While everyone else has to schlep around in clubs, Bob Dylan can quietly still sell out the Forum.
– When cops raid your office your press conference about running for Congress is probably postponed.
– There will be hot lesbo action on the new Real World
– Fraggle Rock will probably stay weird.
– Even John Lennon’s son gets played by the ladies.
– The GOP do believe in Cut & Run.
– If you’re old and white and live in Santa Monica, you still don’t have to come to court even if you get tried and convicted for killing 10 people.
– There’s nothing hotter than a USC cheerleader, except maybe two UCLA cheerleaders screwing in a lightbulb.
– NBC is in some deep fucking shit.
– Lesbianism continues to sweep the land.

photo by ⓢⓤⓟⓔⓡⓜⓞⓓ via flickr