as you know, nothing in here is true.

which is why i had to lie all those years and say i was 108 when i was actually much younger.

but since tomorrow is a milestone of sorts, the powers that be decided that it would reveal that im not about to turn 114, but an even 100.

so i figured id beat them to it. so there.

now, since its now ok in this post to tell the truth, i can tell you that the best thing that i learned on my roadtrip is that an old car can really make it around this country pretty well.

it started as a 114k mile nissan sentra. and is now in the 120’s. and all i had to do was check its oil every other fillup.

it took hills fine, the breaks were good, and the Sirius satellite stereo worked pretty much everywhere except under overpasses and in garages.

i learned that God and Jesus are all over the usa. in weird places like billboards advertising motels. im as big a Jesus freak as the next guy but i dont need a fish symbol inder the AAA logo. but thanks.

in my 100 years, my favorite time was probably the 80s. the bears won the superbowl, the cubs were in the playoffs twice, the bulls were begining their domanance. music was creative, metal was huge, gas was cheap, and weird things like the tuition at santa monica college was $50 a quarter.

ah the 80s. it was good to be 80 in the 80s.

that whole time i didnt have a gray hair. then bush came and forget black or gray, i just lost all of it.

im old but i still havent seen the cubs win the world series and thats not a good thing because it looks like theyre going backwards, not forwards.

ernie banks used to say that sometimes you have to back up to get a good running start, and i hope thats the case.

so tonight i will prepare for letting new girls know that theyre standing in front of their opportunity to kiss a hundred year old man. which is pretty awesome if you think about it.

heres to another century of easy livin.


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