and because nothing in this shit is true i cant tell you about what has happened in the last 6-8 hours but needless to say its one fourty five and im hungover and ive just realized that i have so much orange juice in this house which is clearly a sign from Above that someone is looking out for me and someone knew that everything was gonna be alright.

i need a tv in my bedroom.

today i just wanted to lay in my bed and do nothing but because im a freak there has to be stimuli at all times.

they say men are visual, if thats the case im hypervisual. and audible.

at all times there needs to be the tv on at minimum.

its one reason i have problems working in quiet offices.

i was at this girls house the other day and when we fell asleep i noticed that her stereo was still on, playing a cd… very quietly, and it was on repeat. and it was very nice to have that going on while holding a naked girl.

the modern home should have music in every room. controlled by wireless devices. or robots.

the interesting thing about being a bachelor in los angeles at this time is unless youre incredibly lucky or incredibly great at something, or evil, you cant buy a modern home here. youre a renter4lyfe. which has its advantages.

i dont even know where id buy a modern home in los angeles.

only place id want to live forever if not isla vista would be malibu and unfortunately both locales are annoyingly inconvenient for daily deeds in the city of angels.

which is why obviously my dream job would require virual meetings. business conducted via email and phones and or esp.

or i guess i could just film porn out there.

this i can tell you about last night. if i ever complain to you about anything, at any time, for any reason, ignore me, as i am so far ahead of the game they should just make me sit out the fourth quarter.

bunny + christie + luke + krista

is that even how you spell it?

mr matthew good is supposed to put the new one together but i dont think he sees the vision that i see, but i think he will see the light soon.

speaking of which i finally got In A Coma from mr good himself and when i got home from the road trip i put the dvd in and watched the videos and then watched them again with him and his director bro talking over the music.

gotta say i liked the one with dale jr the best. they were all pretty interesting actually. although im pretty happy that i got to hear apperitions a few times live before seeing the video or hearing it on the radio.

that tune should have been in a hundred movies by now.

anyways im sitting here on a friday night not sure if im gonna get stood up on or not – thus why i need a second blog.

cuz if i had a second blog id be talking hella shit about this girl who basically begged me to forget the fact that she was not the correct astrological sign of which i am only accepting one currently.

AND NOW YOU SEE WHY!!!

anyways

im listening to My Chemical Romance because they are ginormous on buzznet and i want to find out why. i mean i know a few of their songs but not only are they in the top 40 which for a quasi gothmetal band is pretty damn good.

like a watered down manson.

my chemical romance hearts buzznet and the buzznetters heart them right back. right now they have us linked on their main page and the kids have come in droves. right now there are 4,529 images of the band and 1,439 people who have listed them as one of their favorite bands.

ah the kids.

this record isnt bad actually. which one is it? three cheers for sweet revenge. i dont know if this is the new one or old one but i like it.

buzznet is a very quiet company, youd be suprised to know.

the problem is someones always on the phone talking to someone important so you sorta have to keep it down. to remedy that we are renovating the office so marc brown sold the sweet ass couch, a bunch of closets, desks, and for the next two weeks im gonna have to work from home.

pajamas for two weeks straight.

although one of the days we have a meeting to take one of our friends out for a business lunch at the beach, classy like.

where the hell is this bitch?

in college there were these killer girls who everyone loved and one of the things theyd used to do is call each other b as a loving version of bitch.

oh you little b theyd say.

or damn b youre looking good.

five minutes ago this girl was a b, now shes a bitch.

met this chick and she was wearing a cat collar and i said ever have a nice leash on that shit

and she said not yet.

which makes me think that maybe shes being bad on purpose.

and if she is then i will love her forever.

after her spanking.

big big hair + xtx is hotel blogging + kitty + sk

they should have a spinoff called The Others

for the kids at Buzznet.

it started with a lunchtime special secret inhouse mini acoustical concert with Giant Drag at the Virgin megastore headquarters.

someone i know works there and emailed me and invited me and sure enough the buzznet brass said sure why dont you run over there and take some pictures.

the sad thing is i almost instantly fell in love with the singer, annie, which of course ruined all the pictures and i think i took one good one but … all i know is i didnt have the red eye reduction turned on and if i was smart i would read the manual of the camera this weekend.

suddenly it was 2pm and i hadnt eaten lunch and i knew i had to go to the Coachella – the film – premiere at 6:30p so i asked the buzznet brass if i could just head home, grab some lunch on the way and upload pics from there, do a little work and then head over to downtown for the red carpet for the film.

they were all, tony youre the man do whatever the hell you want.

so i did all that and made it to the gorgeous Orpheum Theatre on Broadway and 8th in downtown LA. and for those of you who have never visited this fair village before, you really should do yourself the favor and at least drive down downtown LA for 15-20 minutes because its like nowhere else in So Cal.

its old its crazy its dirrty ist scary its windy and cold and the creepiest people hold up signs saying they have aids can you give them some money and odds are they arent lying so you give em money.

the red carpet wasnt all that because it was windy and cold as fuck last night and i think that scared away dudes like Beck and Morrissey and Perry Farrell and Bjork

but in between snapping the arrivals of djs like ztrip, ronnie size, cut chemist, and junkie xl i noticed a guy with what looked like a fake hair peice.

was that that kid from that 70s show?

and sure enough some publicist ran past us in the photographers section and whispered

danny masterson from that 70s show.

and he did a quickie little interview with the people with the hot chicks and the video cameras then he walked infront of us with the still cams and posed for a sec and that was that.

along the way mr gary calamar of kcrw walked past and gary and i havent seen each other in maybe 10 years i guess? hes a great guy. music manager of the famous radio station but many moons ago he was the manager of a record store in west los angeles and took a chance on a kid with a huge afro whose only experience had been working at mcdonalds for four months down the street.

and ive had some great jobs in the past and i have a great job now, but for sure the first great job i ever had was working for Gary at Licorice Pizza Records at 11876 Wilshire (how do i remember such things) way back in the day.

so i took a picture of him and im glad it turned out decent.

the movie was good, it made me tired because festivals always make me tired.

id say the best performances were by iggy pop, arcade fire, and morrissey.

but right before the movie started i noticed one of my photography heroes – the cobra snake – who had his camera out and two very young women with him and he saw that i was trying to take his picture and he held his arms out like “thats right duuudes its me the cobra snake!” and because i suck at pretty much everything it took me like 15 snaps to get a half way decent pic.

and the best part about the film was they had a bar and a secret bar and marc brown was paying.

giant drag + pix the cobrasnake took yesterday + raymi.blogspot.com works right now, not raymitheminx.com

or he says we will be attacked in the US again.

do we give him the truce or continue this brilliant war?

starring jennifer beals, mia kirshner, karina lombard, and pam grier
showtime, sunday nights

fuck this fucking show.

revolutionary? hardly. terrible tv shows have been on the air for years.

heres what the producers were given: hot young lesbians who like to have sex, a cable network that can show nudity, a public who is ready for a show that revolves around lesbians, and a public who has warmly embraced strong female sexuality in sex in the city as well as gays in will & grace and queer eye for the straight guy.

the bases are loaded, now bring that shit home.

unfortunately instead of blowing the lid off my tv, they deliver me a topless after-school special.

the biggest problem with the L Word is it’s too adult, too meloncholy, too safe, too serious, too dull.

as exciting as thirtysomething, as dramatic as peeling potatoes, and as sexy as willard scott, The L Word sure shows tons of sex and lets us in on sex talk and we see hot chicks and steamy situations, but alas its as cold as an overnight with martha stewart.

i watched this thing twice today and the best i can figure their first priority was to keep it so dry in the pursuit of “credibility” that Joe Sixpack Fratboy Maxium Reader would be bored immediately.

mission accomplished.

so then why all the “lipstick”?

The L Word is as representative to lesbians as Cosby was to african americans. all the chicks are hot, all the guys are hot, all the sex is bland, all the conversations are about either lesbianism or sex or cosmo or getting pregnant or lesbianism or sperm or lesbianism.

meanwhile theres hardly any music playing anywhere, theres very little background noise, or atmosphere.

only showtime, who has a long history of making sex dull and disposable, could make the first lesbian tv series so unwatchable that im not sure i will tune in next week to see the (still) extremely sexy beals go down on her partner again.

besides the lifeless dialogue, the tone is depressingly somber.

did these lesbians get a hold of that type of weed that just knocks your ass out? they act as if theyre all getting root canals in the morning. they act as if they ran a marathon yesterday and they’re still recovering.

the sole “straight” couple have such uninspired sex that you wonder if both of them arent gay. their sex is so unsexy that you could balance one of the glasses of merlot they’re constantly draining on a pillow on their bed and it wouldnt tip over.

if i had a daughter and i wanted her not to be a lesbian, i would show her this tv program and tell her that all lesbians are this lethargic and emotionless and tired. and washed. and santa monican.

if the queer eye boys bounced into the L Word these women would have a damn heart attack. are they lesbo librarians in training? are they auditioning for npr shows? can they just sit back and have a laugh without it leading to sex or having to do with sex? just one laugh?

sex in the city may have been ridiculous and worthless and written by gay men for straight women, but at least it tried to keep things somewhat light and didnt completely take itself seriously at every turn. women i know who like the show totally Want to be one or more of those women on tv.

i cant imagine anyone wanting to be any of these sad fakers who seem only concerned with one thing:

boring the hell out of anyone who wanted to learn about this usually interesting world.

congratulations, we’re bored.

a far more interesting lesbian story about “bois” in new york + after ellen is more forgiving

drew barrymore isnt fat.

shes just not 21 any more.

shes just not a skeltor like nichole riche or paris or lindsay or micha.

i saw what you did with kelly clarkson

and i see what youre trying to do with mariah –

who isnt fat either.

pretty much everyone who you idolize is an anorexic freak, who strangely enough are also all crazy.

what do you think drove mariah crazy in the first place?

do you really think its a coincidence that once she chilled out about her weight she stopped being crazy and returned to her familiar spot on the top of the charts?

have you heard about her freaking out lately? no.

seen drew freak out lately either? no. all i ever see her do is walk around making out with her boyfriend, the scruffy drummer from the strokes.

if drew wants to wear a granny dress with no bra to the golden globes – fine.

drew has been going to the globes since e.t., so yes i wouldnt be surprised if she considered it semi-formal.

so yeah sorry, shes not 18 anymore, coked up and skinny,

she doesnt look like your boy natalie portman

shes not sticking out her titties like the panty girl from lost in translation which only gets you felt up by gay guys, fyi

she didnt get a bunch of work done like the desperate housewives.

shes not hunched over and dressing like bag ladies like the olsen twins.

shes keeping it real and honoring her grandma,

so?

as you get older the chicks start getting older too

or so ive been told

and let me tell you something about getting older

things change.

like sometimes you dont give a shit about wearing couture or even underwear for that matter.

and believe it or not but you actually start appreciating certain things like what bukowski once described: the shape of a well-turned leg.

i thought you people said you liked bukowski.

charles bukowski never fucked any sickly girls.

love,

tony

drew barrymore in buzznet + the drewseum + drew with ashley last month

but some of us picked a few tricks up along the way. especially if you figured out how to stay there for seven years.

anyways one of my writing teachers had a dare for all of us.

because we were precocious and dainty and bigheaded and thought we were the shit she said right before class was almost over

everyone write a five minute poem.

startinnnnnnnnng now!

and all fifteen of us were shocked and we flipped to an open page

and started writing something.

art she must have known can not be rushed, but there she was rushing us.

inspiration cannot be demanded to appear at the snap of the finger, but voila

and id say half of the kids in the room knew how to write.

some were excellent stylists, some mimics, but a few, a handful just knew how to tell a story.

one girl wasnt attractive in the slightest.

if mike royko had a daughter who looked like him in all the worst ways, that would be this girl.

but she wrote so well that i had a massive crush on her

four minutes thirty now

and it wasnt a race against the clock, in my mind at least

it was a competition against the others.

me against the world.

and when the five minutes were up the teacher said ok now these dont mean anything, it was just for fun

but then she read them aloud

and we laughed because some were clever

some were dumb

and there were no grades but i liked that unsaid approval or disproval right when your mind was floating off to which burger place i was going to skateboard past.

another quiz we had once was you have five minutes to write the worst poem you can think of. bad poetry, readddddddy go!

that one i highly recommend.

tonight a young lady invited herself over to my apartment to watch the annual golden globes competition and my house wasnt ready for guests and i had very little in the fridgerator and i really just wanted to stay in my pajamas, but there i was in my pajamas with some corderoys pulled over them and and hoodie over my pajama shirt and i finished watching the first half of the lakers heat game on one tuner while tivoing the globes on the other tuner.

she walked in and i thought, i got both tuners rollin, ive got pajamas on, and im not even gonna clean up my shit to establish with this new chick that what you see is what you get. you want a clean house, go back to your girl friends.

the cuban girl called in the middle of the show and i was all your bff is on the globes and sure enough there was busy philipps from one of my favorite tv shows, love inc at the ang lee brokeback mountain table! quite a step up from getting podcasted by some retard.

but the best part of the show was mariah carey, my girl.

bootyliscous.

but the best part of the night was after the awards i had to establish something else, which was, there will be a lot of drinking.

some young ladies, however, drank lite beer all through college.

and is now passed out on my couch.

and i had a teacher who said animals dont talk shoes dont talk and flowers dont talk – dont make things that dont talk talk.

thank heavens that couch keeps his mouth shut.

boink + brian + misty + columbia