greatest black man of all?

they couldnt have been cuter

im looking forward to the weekend not because its the weekend whoo hooo but because my bears are in the playoffs and i cant wait for sunday.

i broke my new years resolution last sunday. i didnt read the Bible. i suck. and it wasnt like i was doing a lot of shit. and it wasnt like there was even a lot on tv.

do you know its thirteen days into the year and i havent had a hot kiss from a hot chick yet?

how can that be?

im a b-list blogger! wtf!

btw happy friday the thirteenth.

when i was in highschool there always seemed to be a scary movie at the theatre every friday the thirteenth, and even though i went to all of those scary movies right now, im not so sure i want to see Hostel which is the current scary movie.

i understand that its intensely intense. and im not sure in my advanced age i could handle that this week. maybe after the bears win the super bowl.

speaking of films, Brokeback Mountain just replaced King Kong in my local theatre. and i know people are saying that its the movie of the year and its great and its a great love story and the chick from the Princess Diaries gets naked in it

but when it comes right down to it do i want to pay money to see heath ledger make out with kirstin dunst’s boyfriend?

the answer is a whitney approved hell-to-the-no

however when mr skin shows me the three seconds of anne hathaway i’ll be ready.

am i a bad person for not wanting to see Brokeback Mountain?

yes im slightly homophobic but only slightly. but as a single man with no real love interest around, do i really want to see any romance right now? wont it just make me more bitter than i already am?

hell i was jealous that king kong found love and he was just a big dirty ape!

speaking of films, how about Lost this week, huh?

ive decided that on Fridays we can discuss Lost. that gives people a day and a half to watch the show and if they come to the busblog on Friday afternoon and get bummed out that we spoiled some of it then tough titties.

anyways LOVED Lost this week. i love how they can do a backstory on anyone and get away with it – and most of the time it advances the plotline.

but heres my question for those with the eagle eye — why did bro burn the whole plane including the H? was it because the drugs killed his brother? was it because drugs sorta ruined his life?

seems to me that on an island like that someone might need those drugs for, you know, medical reasons, wink wink nudge nudge.

no seriously people are getting ripped to shreds by dinosaurs (well they were last year) and theres operations that are being done, why not have some H on hand for the good doctor to dole out in the proper amount?

i dont know, seems to me that this bunch of Survivors sure waste a lot of their resources whereas the people on real Survivor fucking eat ants rodents even that chicken that was used as a sacrifice.

in conclusion i saw Beauty and the Geek 2 yesterday and it was awesome.

leah’s gonna get married in 5.5 months

shes registered at target, she rented a dvd for new years and now shes picking out flowers for her big bash

>Picking flowers. Who knew what a big rucus flowers could cause? We initially picked out flowers months ago deciding to get them out of the way. We were going with calla lilies and lots of greenary. How come everyone but us knew that calla lilies were the most expensive flowers in the universe? Anyways, so we changed everything. We are now going with amazing colors! (orange, pink, hot pink, red, and yellow) and I even get an arch. So excited about the arch. Gerber daisies, you are lovely!

>Met with the chef. Cheese, fruit, cake, and veggies. Eat before you come. I’m not your mother!

mimi’s getting married this weekend.

she may hurl.

OK. Now I’m nervous. So nervous that I can’t think very well. So nervous my throat is constricting and I keep having to pee. Tomorrow is rehearsal and blah blah and Saturday is it. Next time I post here I’ll have a new last name. And finally there will be no more wedding talk.

Wish me luck. I’m off to be a bride. Gulp.

bunny mcintosh has now been married twelve days.

this was her report from the silky deserts of las vegas

On Jan. 1, 2006, the resurrected bodies of my past life lovers George Washington and Benjamin Franklin ascended from Middle Earth to witness this, a most perfect union, between yours truly, Bunny Mcintosh and her dashing and wonderful husband, Richard Delicious.

I got married in a black dress. I won hundreds of dollars in slot machine play, and chased Weird Al Yankovic through a Caesars Palace shouting “Mr. Weird! I’m your third biggest fan. I have several of your tapes…” in a drunken bout of enthusiasm.

I will post pictures and tell you much more of my tale in a heart felt post in the not so distant future. Right now, I am decompressing by building a shed in the yard. In the mean time, be good my pretties.

we’re still awaiting that heartfelt post, however if you have anything you wanna ask the chickie from metric, mrs delicious will be happy to ask them for you.

ms jana pants finally made it to harvard and whats the first thing she does? dry hump the statue of the founder mr john harvard.

god bless our little angel.

does anyone read this piece of shit and live in boston, i don’t know anyone near my age and i want to go get wasted and do things that are not wholesome fun for the whole family. i lied, the only person i know here is a dude i was in future business assholes of america crap with in high school on the state leadership team and he is kind of boring and i don’t even think he drinks or whatever and we used to hook up Aaaaand he has a girlfriend. so it might be awkward.

come distract me so i don’t have to hang out with senator lameface. also i am going to nyc on saturday so if you want to buy me a drink please email.

alecia is the girl of my dreams. if only i was eighty years younger.

Over Winter Break I’ve:
-Gone to Mexico twice.
-Broken THREE fucking cellphones.
-Made out with a handful of guys.
-Made out with a couple lucky females.
-Smoked a lot of reefer.
-Taken a lot of adderall.
-Earned and promptly spent a shitload of money.
-Drank mind-blowing amounts of beer.

someone is clearly guest blogging over at chez flagrant:

– spent several hours researching at ucla.
– agreed to [guest lecture event] with the prosperous professor.
– sought out additional resume parchment paper in westwood.
– [worst part of day:] retrieved voicemail messages.
– agreed to go out this week with a make!up!artist! friend.
note: dread, i look ghastly, sick, rough, and worn, etc…

– shopped at whole foods.
– went to my house for the first time since last thursday.
– roasted a turkey breast for the physician who moved in with me.
he said: “i thought you never left the house?”

note: too many people continue to confuse today with yesterday.
consider: don’t they ever change their calendars?

and yes, i see shes dropped my link. no need to continue with the emails. the busblog hasnt been all that lately, who can blamer?

speaking of swimsuit models, why is it that when i see this, i like it just as much as this?

infact those curves simply make my mind want to snowboard all over them.

maybe it means im not gay after all.

take that shelbyville.

anti + featured fotos + freak power tix

Tonee,

Sorry to be the one, but Sutter’s going in as a Cardinal. He says his family best remembers him throwing the last pitch of the ’82 World Series. I feel your pain.

The Cards did the same thing with Steve Carlton to the Phils in the early 70s because Augie Bush was as moronic as the Wrigley folks. Assholes.

Regards from your friend who has to confess to Cardinal fandom since age four (which makes me eighty four),

Mark Anderson

yes mark i had heard the terrible news.

someone in my comments notified me and because im not very level headed i called him names and dared him to prove it.

sadly i found the evidence before he did and i deleted my bitter comment of hate and ignorance.

this is a horrible act of disloyalty to the club that signed you, taught you the pitch, made you a star and loved you like one of their own.

he says his family remembers the world series the most

and thats why hes going in as a cardinal.

yeah sorry bruce, there havent been any cubs world series wins since 1908, dont take it personally.

and btw thanks for putting salt in the wounds of cub fans that the reason youre going in as a card is because of the world series.

whys it always gotta be about the world series.

i have a sneaking suspicion that the cardinals paid you to go in as a cardinal now that it looks like mark macguire will never get in, and its gonna be a long time till puljos is eligible.

i hate you bruce sutter, my former favorite player.

no i dont yes i do no i dont.

when i was in college i had a friend named gregory vaine who inspired me to do lots of things: record things on tape, write things down, take photos, and paint on found wood.

i am not a good painter in fact i cant paint at all.

and lord help a bad painter when he uses watercolors, not real paint, watercolors and paints that on wood.

but in those days i was doing a lot of drugs and i had patience back then that i dont have now and i blame the internet modem for that. ive noticed that i have the attention span and tolerance of the current modem speed.

back then i had the patience of a 14.4 dialup thru aol.

which meant i spent more time romancing the ladies, more time to read books, and more time to try to make watercolors work on dirty plywood

one summer in college i went home to illinois and i got a job as an ice cream man

i also had a summer girlfriend named tracey degrazia who i fell in love with and i would love to talk too again so if any of you know her she lived in park ridge

sigh

when the summer was over i had to fly back to santa barbara and we kept in touch and on my birthday that october she gave me a book called baseballs greatest pitchers, because she was perfect.

inside it had a page with a full-page black and white picture of bruce sutter, my hero.

so i found some wood and painted what i saw.

i started at the top of his head and because it was black and white at first i made it that but as i worked my way down i started painting in color, but when i got to his waist i got bored and instead of completing the cubs uniform, i gave him swim trunks where one leg had stripes and the other leg had polka dots.

and then i painted soothing colors all around him.

its my finest work of the three ive ever done.

im seriously considering selling that peice that has hung in my bedroom ever since ive lived here.

being that it pains me to look at it

knowing that he wants to be immortalized as a

a

i cant even say it.

first dave kingman going to great america on dave kingman day at wrigley, and now this.

et tu bruce?

that does it, im not going to the ceremony either.

JaG + dirty fez’s cool tat + panajane + jennifer

on her birthday

my does time fly. just the other day she was 19 and typing sweet nothings in my chat box.

never have i deserved any of the girls who i got to spend time with, but no way should i have had a girl like ashley like me the way she did and probably still does.

yes, it began as a simple internet friendship, and yes, it turned into much more.

shes as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, and shes even more beautiful in person.

when she kisses you she keeps her eyes closed and lets it sink in. and every one is as important as the last.

you even get extras when you least expect it.

she likes to hold your hand at all times

she squeals

and she giggles when shes happy or when shes naughty.

once i woke up with her playing with the hairs on my chest and she said what would you like today boo

and i said three lovers in three ways

and she rang the little bell and miss gwen stefani appeared with a cloud of smoke behind door number three

and we all danced to the music of janes addiction.

i danced the best

there were judges.

that night the skies parted and a beam of light shone through the stars and gwen stefani ascended into the better place and ashley asked me to write down what had happened so i wouldnt forget it

and all i wrote down was ashleys awesome.

she said you forgot to write the stuff about gwen and i said gwen who.

later we held hands

and fell asleep.

i miss her immensely.

theres no replacing someone as sweet, full of excitement, and a thrill to be with.

and im pretty sure my website has suffered with her absence, but for her theres no replacement.

happy birthday, daisy girl from the future worlds.

youre still in my fondest thoughts, and if you didnt notice, that tinkerbell header has been up all week to celebrate this day.

me and ashley rent a car + she was just 19 the other day + her lj + and her myspace

fuck that, let me tell you the most important thing about los angeles: it’s tiny.

tiny tiny tiny.

and because its tiny you really should pick who youre going to piss off and what bridges you decide to burn when you burn them.

and you can pretend that you are mr idealistic and youd never burn any bridges but there are some people who will cross your path that will make you – literally make you – go up to them and tell them to fuck off.

because los angeles is perfect they will never move away, and you will run into them from time to time, but if you play your cards right you will also run into the good people of this town repeatedly over the years.

so anyways Cuban girl used to work at this huge company that was down the street from E! on fridays she and her best friend would have lunch with me and my buddy in the closed captioning department.

well that big company has moved to across the street from E! like literally across the street.

meanwhile karisa j hotchick just scored a job with cuban girl’s xcompany.

so not only was i having lunch with one of their employees again, but i was driving right past the building that i occupied for four years.

very weird feelings. not all good ones.

i saw some people i recognized. i even honked my horn at a dude i used to schedule but he didnt recognize me with my fuzzy beard, shades, and lowrider, but its all good.

picked up karisa who looked like whoa

miniskirt boots ponytails

almost like she knew i liked that sorta thing on tall girls in the summertime

she got in the ride and i was all your boyfriend lets you leave the house like that? and she told me that her man was hungover from the night before and could barely open his eyes.

still i was like omg and kept my eyes on the road because if you look at karisa for more than a few minutes you start crashing into buildings and losing your mind

thus the cheap sunglasses

as we drove down wilshire we realized we had no idea where we wanted to have lunch and because she had a meeting to go to in an hour we couldnt drive all the way to westwood where i was gonna taker to mr noodle, my favorite. so we drove up rodeo drive cuz you only live once.

fortunately we ran past a little italian place on beverly named Pizza Rustica which had huge slices for $4 and outdoor seating.

they also had a little room with a bed that was curious in a small restaurant.

she had the mushroom slice with water, and i had the bbq chicken and a diet coke.

we talked and talked which is very easy to do with her because you can bounce from the patriots who suck to music which sucks to the sopranos which she is catching up on to medical deformaties in women which she loves to talk about

and then after lunch i wouldnt let her into the car until she modeled for me for 4 irritating minutes. she squirms and forces her smile and looks away and closes her eyes. shes one of the prettiest girls you’ll ever meet but definately the worst model. you feel like youre raping her with your camera. it’s not fun for either but its like the dentist – its gotta be done every six weeks.

so as we drove past spagos i saw an extremely well dressed man getting out of a rolls and i was all i know that guy but because theres so much resin in my head it took me a whole minute and i told karisa Soul Train i know him from Soul Train and we looked at his liscense plate and it said 1ST and i was all “first”? and she said no “1 Soul Train”

and then i was all don corneleious

love peace and soul

and tonight my people tell me Lost is back on the air and it better be good but do us all a favor and please dont comment on it until tomorrow for the benefit of us here in the west coast who might not see it until later tonight which might be super late if this email from this hot chick is the real deal

so let me tell you one more thing, aspiring bloggers, strangers will email you and provide photographs and invite you to a bar

on a wednesday night, when you should be watching Lost

but these pictures are so good that you reply back with

one drink, near my house, two drinks if this is realy you

three drinks if you have a note from your doctor saying that youve recently been checked out

and four drinks if youre buying.

and the craziest thing my friend is you dont have to look like tom brady to get them to say fine im paying

you just need a halfway decent blog.

fine, a three quarters decent blog.

six pics of karisa + tell this girl that uggs are ok + tell this girl to stay at buzznet

for Christmas break and ran into a very interesting machine

its one of those giant claw machines that you see at the Denny’s where you put fifty cents in and get yourself a plushy toy for your kid or your girlfriend – if youre lucky enough to know how to manuever that godforsaken machine

the difference of this one though is its filled with water

and LOBSTERS

now im on very good terms with pretty much all of my girlfriends, so i could call my sweet x up right now and ask her about this machine… like how much it cost, was it a game of chance, or was it an actual self-service lobster grabber

but unfortunately im on my way over to have lunch with one karisa j happenstance

whom i plan to discuss nothing but football as our two favorite teams

the bears and the patroits are in the playoffs.

for some reason she has confidence that the pats can continue their winning ways now that they have most of their team back from injury,

i think shes living in a fools paradise as that pretty boy at qb is going to fall at the hands of pittsburg or whatever pansy afc team theyre playing.

the bears however are a team of destiny this year

a throwback to the monsters of the midway AND the superbowl shuffle sqad of twenty years ago.

and now that we have rex grossman back, everythings good in the hood.

and then i plan to talk to her about buzznet

namely about why she isnt putting more photos up on her strip.

i may even threaten her to put a picture up on my blog starting tomorrow every day until she starts submitting regularily, just like all of you should.

howard stern proudly mentioned the other day that 3 million people signed up to Sirius after he announced that he was going to eh eh eh

so how has Buzznet fared since they signed yours truly?

overhead in the office the other day, our hits and signups in q4 have jumped 35%.

coincidence?

of course.

one man surely cant effect a web site that much in such a short period of time.

however to celebrate our continuing success i will continue to link to peoples buzznet accounts at the bottom of each of my busblog posts.

if you know of a worthy buzznet account that im overlooking, please let me know.

jeanine + ashley + alistair + koganuts