dear gay people and youngsters,

drew barrymore isnt fat.

shes just not 21 any more.

shes just not a skeltor like nichole riche or paris or lindsay or micha.

i saw what you did with kelly clarkson

and i see what youre trying to do with mariah –

who isnt fat either.

pretty much everyone who you idolize is an anorexic freak, who strangely enough are also all crazy.

what do you think drove mariah crazy in the first place?

do you really think its a coincidence that once she chilled out about her weight she stopped being crazy and returned to her familiar spot on the top of the charts?

have you heard about her freaking out lately? no.

seen drew freak out lately either? no. all i ever see her do is walk around making out with her boyfriend, the scruffy drummer from the strokes.

if drew wants to wear a granny dress with no bra to the golden globes – fine.

drew has been going to the globes since e.t., so yes i wouldnt be surprised if she considered it semi-formal.

so yeah sorry, shes not 18 anymore, coked up and skinny,

she doesnt look like your boy natalie portman

shes not sticking out her titties like the panty girl from lost in translation which only gets you felt up by gay guys, fyi

she didnt get a bunch of work done like the desperate housewives.

shes not hunched over and dressing like bag ladies like the olsen twins.

shes keeping it real and honoring her grandma,


as you get older the chicks start getting older too

or so ive been told

and let me tell you something about getting older

things change.

like sometimes you dont give a shit about wearing couture or even underwear for that matter.

and believe it or not but you actually start appreciating certain things like what bukowski once described: the shape of a well-turned leg.

i thought you people said you liked bukowski.

charles bukowski never fucked any sickly girls.



drew barrymore in buzznet + the drewseum + drew with ashley last month

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