risking life and limb for the benefit of a greater good.

but in real life im just a normal dude.

who am i to tell you how to write your blog.

but one thing i would like to see more of on the blogs that i read are pictures of your town.

blogger will even host your pictures for free.

or you could use buzznet.

or you could upload the pics onto your own server.

the point is, it’s not hard to do, it’s cheap, and it’s 2004 it’s ok to have pictures on your blog.

i say make it of your town. i say make it of the places that are ordinary to you, and things that are everyday, and some things that arent so everyday.

my man in the picture there is wearing a tshirt that says Atari on it. it’s a tribute in a way to lots of people’s first video game system.

neauvoux nostalgia some of my more cynical friends say, but its sometimes a good idea to ignore those folks.

anyway, show me whats going on in your neighborhood.

maybe once a week at least you should do something along those lines.

my true love is coming over right now.

shes driving up vermont and shes going to bring me two peices of extra crispy

mashed potatoes

and hot buttered love on a cob.

she had one request before she came over,

that i wouldnt say anything about riggs bank.

saidy + my sassy wife moxie + handwashing for lyfe

to write about politics anymore. and i dont wanna do it neither.

i just want to write about taking pictures out of a greasy bus window cuz the subway was clogged with a broken train this morning.

i wanna write about how great it is to have lunch with danielle every afternoon that im not flying the smogy skies.

i wanna write about the cubbies and how they shouldnt be involved in any three-way trade with beantown and zona. the cubs should send glendon rusch and mitreto the the d-backs and for the big unit, and they should send corey patterson, alex gonzales and kyle farnsworth to the sox for nomar.

avoid the middle men.

i wanna write about how insane that cubbies lineup would be. i wanna write about how we need a ring right now, today. and speaking of rings, the cubs could pay for all of this nonesense real simple.

they should sell replica Cubs World Series rings via cubs.com to all the fans for $420 that look exactly like the ones the Cubs would earn once they have Randy Johnson and Nomah.

are there 10,000 cubs fans who would wear such a gaudy, silly, doofus, nerdy, outrageous peice of jewlery?

no.

theres probably 25,000.

i might buy two myself.

on one side it needs to say 1908 and on the other side it needs to say 2004.

you should be able to put your name on the underside for $25 extra.

“hey hey” should be in there somewhere, as well as a design of some ivy.

i would never take it off.

yes, these are the things that a man of my stature should be writing about at 4:20p on a friday evening before i head out to vegas for a much needed respite.

instead the president just keeps on saying look at me look at me

and nobody else feels inclined to write about it.

meanwhile i still havent had a chance to tell you about my two favorite cds of this year, so far…

Greg Vaine’s new cd, which makes me cry it’s so beautiful.

and Loretta Lynn’s collaboration with Jack White, that makes me smile cuz its so punk rock.

i hope you all have a great weekend.

ps. my hands are feeling so freaking great. id say theyre at 95%.

pps. Tsar will be on KXLU on Monday night at 11pm.

ppps. yes that is a KXLU sticker on the very top of the “no graffit please” sign, of which you can only see “los angeles” due to my dumb cropping

bunny mcintosh, your favorite sorta topless redhead college student needs you

karl rove, so cocky about?

doesnt he know that today the Associated Press, after finding out that Texas law requires the Texas National Guard to keep a copy of all Guard records, (in a seperate place from where the feds keep such records) asked a federal judge to order the pentagon to release the documents.

this came in light of last friday’s report that the president’s Guard records, stored in Colorado, were accidentally destroyed.

Not all the records were inadvertantly decimated, mind you, just the months in question where nobody seems to know where the president was.

Some are accusing him of deserting.

Some say he only went AWOL.

Some say the Texas records are in a Texas trashcan.

And yet some insist that the records that have been released are enough to prove that the president served his time. Even if the records that were released are difficult to read.

So i dont know why Rove is so cocky.

Maybe it’s because he knows that no way will the American people blame Bush or Rummy for the attrocities happening in Iraq at the hands of US soldiers who are raping children in such a way that their mothers are asking to be killed so that they dont have to watch their boys and girls get sodomized.

in the days of chimpanzees i was

shocked.

which is silly because this adminstration has refused to accept blame for anything that it has been responsible for, directly or indirectly, since it stole the election.

setting quite a precident along the way

and almost forcing the pendulum to swing all the way to the left to make up for it.

which in this blogger’s opinion isnt the best solution.

but it is a solution.

and if these records prove that the president was a deserter, i would have to think that impeachment/resignation is only the first step.

court-martial should naturally come next.

batty baby + injection + cup of chica

sell a bank that was being investigated by everyone from the fbi to the 9/11 commission for allowing money-laundering to happen.

a bank whose former manager yesterday pleaded the fifth as a Senate panel investigation tried to get to the bottom of the fact that fomer Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet was allowed to bring in a 60-pound suitcase to a branch filled with $3 million in cash wrapped in plastic without raising an eyebrow.

but Riggs bank is a special bank. the president’s uncle, after all is the CEO of its investment branch, so when the 9/11 Commission spent 28 pages reporting about how the Saudis funded terrorists through the bank, the president redacted those pages.

riggs bank, who the Associated Press described as having a “near exclusive franchise” on the banking needs of Washington DC embassies, serving 95% of them including the Saudi embassy, the one who funded at least the two terrorists in san diego and probably more.

so special is this bank that the instapundit wont even talk about it. has never ever mentioned riggs bank, and probably has no plans on mentioning it, especially since it will soon just be PNC Bank, and Riggs Bank nevermore.

why does the instapundit take it easy on Riggs?

probably because the president’s uncle johnathan, gw bush’s brother, is probably knee-high in dirt from these dealings, and the attitude has always been from conservative bloggers that it’s not news unless drudge says its news.

and drudge sure aint gonna talk about it.

why on earth would drudge or the instapundit be interested in a once-respected bank being run by the president’s uncle that is being embroiled in controversy and fines and bad dealings?

i dont know… cuz its news. 9/11 news at that.

things are completely fucked when you have to go to the busblog for your news.

new blog showcase + ev explains the new blogger features + amb

tonight 7/16

the C, the echo

jerry cantrell, roxy

berlin, hollywood park

hr, alex’s bar

diana krall, greek

dazz band + sos + zapp band, vault 350

lewis black, the canyon

tomorrow 7/17

ike turner, harvelle’s

the magnetic fields, wilshire ebell theater

jurassic 5 + pete yorn + flea, avalon

wasp, house of blues

sha na na, the canyon

rick royale, lava lounge

glen phillips, largo

hr funkenstuff, roxy

lori carson, mccabes

patterson hood, spaceland

wu tang clan + redman + dialated peoples + sage francis, orange pavillion  

sunday 7/18

etta james, the canyon

modest mouse , avalon

mellow man ace, key club

rooney, wiltern

young dubliners, warner park

monday 7/19

sonic youth, henry fonda

modest mouse, wiltern

tuesday 7/20

TSAR + shapes of racecars, spaceland

linda rondstat, universal

jill sobule, largo

wednesday 7/21

boz scaggs + casandra wilson, hollywood bowl

becky, sixteen-fifty

tracy bonham, the hotel cafe

thursday 7/22

india.arie, royce hall ucla

gomez, avalon

walkment, sixteen-fifty

zilla, knitting factory

friday 7/23

the polyphonic spree, el rey

string cheese incident, wiltern

jewel, disney concert hall

bow wow wow, key club

makeout city + wizbang + dc thornton

i hope you realize that the only way that people will not hate you is if you win it all this year.

hopefully against the heat.

your twenty-five years old. you have three rings, but now you have lost the greatest coach of all time, you’ve lost the second greatest center of all time, and the greatest nba announcer of all time.

two and a half years ago  you lost the greatest general manager of all time.

since then you’ve gone to the finals and lost twice. this last time, embarrassingly.

your in the middle of a rape trial.

against a white girl.

a young white girl.

los angeles, i hope you realize, doesn’t care about your rape trial.

los angeles is interested in you winning the nba title.

immediately.

you have a few nice things working in your favor:

• your young black talented and rich
• you have one of the greatest players of all time in magic to give you advice
• you get to play with one of the best point guards ever who no longer has to try to run the triangle, which was a bad offense for him
• you have a great new coach to play for whose number one concern all year will be how to get you the ball.
• you probably didn’t rape that white girl.
• and if you pull this off, without shaq, people will have a good reason to compare you to mj.

somehow i don’t think you will be able to do it.

somehow i think your an orange county punk who probably should have gone to college

somehow i think your breaking up a dynasty that you could have been part of for a long long time but instead you acted like a diva bitch and ran off the two best things anyone could ask for: a great coach and a great center.

somehow i think i will start paying more attention to the clippers next year

somehow i think that when people utter the old phrase “be careful what you wish for”, they will think of you number eight

and they will look down

and shake their head.

eric case + everything is wrong + new yorkish

the president of the united states is actually going to turn his back on the NAACP and not meet with them, still upset, reportedly for their accusations that the civil rights group has made against him, the Associated Press reports today.

“(President Bush) has many friends who belong to the NAACP and respects their proud history of championing civil rights,” White House communications director Dan Bartlett said. “Differences of opinion and opposing views are of course part of the national debate. Yet the current leadership of the NAACP has clearly crossed the line in partisanship and civility, making it impossible to have a constructive dialogue.”

Impossible?

How would the President know that it’s impossible to talk to a group when he hasnt talked with them in four years?

Mr. Bush will certainly debate Sen. Kerry. Will he decline any debates with the Democrat since they will surely cross the line of partisanship?

And what is crossing the line of partisanship, anyway? Isn’t it balking at an invitation with a group year after year after year simply because they traditionally overwhelmingly vote against you?

They’re still Americans. Don’t they deserve to be included in the dialogue? Aren’t their concerns and issues important?

Isn’t the message that the President is sending one that says, “disagree with me once, shame on me… you… disagree with me twice… wont get fooled again”?

or something?

i thought the president was a cowboy.

i thought the president wasnt afraid to stand his ground and answer his critics.

i thought this president was proud of his accomplishments over the last three and a half years.

and as dumb as this president is portrayed in Fahrenheight 9/11, you’d think the yale grad would think he could take on a bunch of minorities who certainly are wrong about comparing his anti-abortion stance toward the taliban, and being upset about the rapidly deteriorating inner-city education problem, or the high unemployment rate for blacks.

guess i was wrong. again.

“The president may be too busy to talk to you,” Kerry told the NAACP today in Philadephia, “but I have news for you: He’s going to have plenty of time after Nov. 2.

“I will be a president who is truly a uniter, not one who seeks to divide one nation by race or riches or by any other label.”

The NAACP has about 500,000 members. There are 36 million African-Americans in the USA, approximately 13% of the nation’s population, according to the March 2002 census; which also reports that 11.9% of Black men were unemployed at the time of the survey, while only 5.7% of white men were unemployed.

Also of interest is the fact that although Blacks account for only 13% of the population, they accounted for 23% of american poverty.

If the president and his party of economic superstars wanted to prove their mad skillz, i cant imagine an audience who would benefit more that enlightenment than the NAACP.

the president missed a great opportunity.

bunnie + bunny + kevin

possibly coming to the cubbies.

im not so sure about it.

the problem is simple, and my pal karisa will be mad at me for it, but i dont want the cubs to be in a three-way trade with Arizona and Boston because sure the Cubs will get a star shortstop and mightilly beef up an already powerful lineup

and they will only have to give up some minor leaguers to get Mia Hamm’s sweetie

but i dont want the Red Sox to have a rotation that includes Pedro, Schilling, and The Unit.

call me crazy, but whats the use of getting a shortstop if it means having to face that firestorm of arms in October?

i would much rather just get struggling shortstop Orlando Cabrera from montreal in exchange for those very same minor leaguers.

and some will say, but the Yankees will get crushed by the Red Sox if they get Randy Johnson, and those people are fools.

if the Sox get the big unit, steinbrenner will just get someone else. the cubs cant survive such an arms race. they can, but they wont.

it’s my opinion that its completely in the best interest of the Cubs to totally lay low and not wake the sleeping giants who are the yankees and who are up some 7 games in the East.

they dont need to stack the deck any more against either the Sox or the Cubs.

what the Sox need to do is trade their man Lowe and some others to Houston and get the Rocket back where he belongs.

after that piazza-aided schellacking that he took in the all star game, im sure clemens would like nothing more than to retun to boston, join up with a real rotation, and beat the team who let him go.

this of course would inspire the yanks to make a bid for the big unit, but perhaps if the cubs really did get cabrera for prospects, they might be willing to move greg maddux, glendon rusch, and kyle farnsworth to the diamondbacks and pay johnson for a half a season.

but thats me, mr. vegas.

danielle + sk smith + andy dolan

creator of Entertainment Weekly, creator of the Daily Stern, and inventor of the word Blook, jarvis’s the buzzmachine is one of my favorite blogs and one of my daily reads.

i like the buzzmachine because jeff blogs the way you should: often, in detail, with links, and with good analysis.

i like that he has comments and keeps his stats public.

i like that he tries not to say fuck because his kids read his blog,

but sometimes he says fuck anyway

and i like that even better.

whats great about his comments is that he proves that even if you get 12,000 hits a day that doesnt mean that you will get a ton of comments, and those that you get wont neccisarilly be all that intelligent.

it makes me grateful that even though i get less than ten percent of his hits, i get on average more comments and most of them are more-enlightening.

i would like to see a few more pictures on jeffs blog. i would like to see him talk a little more about why he likes Howard Stern. and i would like him to encourage his commentors to write better comments and quit hiding behind fake email addresses.

i would also like to see him get a sit down interview with Stern and publish it on his blog.

other than that, i think the blogosphere is grateful for his centrist views on politics, and his hands-on opinions on technology.

and no one has covered the Stern vs FCC battle in greater detail, and for that we should all give him praise on his birthday.

as 9/11 was the impetus for many “warbloggers” to find their nitche, i might say that jeff found his when Howard was dropped by Clear Channel several months back.

and today mr. jarvis is 50…

i remember my 50th birthday…

WWII was in full swing and i was helping the cause by collecting nylons from the ladies in the neighborhood.

the cubs had assembled a mighty fine team and movies cost two cents.

ah the good old days.

Jeff Jarvis’s BuzzMachine

he los angeles lakers have traded shaq to the miami heat for lamar odom, brian grant, caron butler, and a future first-rounder,” tony kornheiser said on today’s Pardon the Interruption. “It is an incomprehensibly stupid move by the Lakers, and if David Aldridge has half a brain he will agree with me. How ’bout it.”

“You never trade Shaquille O’Neal.” aldridge replied. “You go from being invincable, to vincable.”

john woo caught me in the hallway, his head was down, he said it softly but i nearly beat him to it.

they did it, he said.

i know, i said.

this wasnt a they did it like omg they did it. this was a they did it like the republicans have stolen the election they did it.

like we always knew it was possible, but we didnt think it would actually happen, right infront of us, right when we were already down and beaten.

shaq was traded to the miami heat today for lamar odom, brian grant, caron butler and a #1 draft pick in 2005.

hardly a king’s ransom, particularily because grant is an undersized center and odom is an unproven burnout, and caron butler is a third year hopeful who scored twice as many points in his rookie year than he did last year.

shaq, meanwhile, is a presence that is going to be nearly impossible to replace, and brian grant is not the answer.

people say shaq is old. shaq isnt old. not even at 32. they say he’s out of shape, and i say theyre looking with their eyes and not the stats. shaqs numbers only got better as the season went on.

the fact is people in LA never fell in love with the big aristole the way that they fell in love with kareem, magic, worthy, and now kobe, and its ashame because shaq was hollywood, he was hard, he was funny, he was tough, and for his size he was as durable as it gets.

if kobe actually signs with the lakers, he is still unbelievably unsigned, the lakers will have the kobe show which vince carter, t-mac, and the answer proved doesnt win titles.

if he doesnt sign

and why should he

the lakers have a 41 year old power forward

no center

a new coach

and not much else except you boy

fuck that, id divorce my wife go to new york and win the first title for the knicks in a hundred and ten years.

lakers fucked up.

kat + waiting on instapundit‘s two cents on the failed ban on gay marriage + aint no bad dude