i had such a good talk today

amber me giving blood mask

with a friend

who a while back got naked with me

and who now is married

and puts up with my lunacy.

we hardly ever talk, shes extremely successful

i am snot

and she said whats the problem, really

i said, i want to do some wild ass shit like for real

she said tell me all of it

and i said

[which was inappropriate]

and she said thats ok

i said it is

she said it is

and over time i went from all wound up

to actually super relaxed

in part because i cried a little on the phone

and i was able to get out all these emotions and testosterone

and let them fly out of my mouth

and after a while it was just me and her

so we talked about brahms

and how come he couldnt get the heck outta vienna

so he could be gay like he was born

it was very nice

then i went outside and talked to the parking ticket officer

and then the security for the church

and then i hosted a two hour online tribute to amber

with special guests ambers mom and sister

whole bunch of her hotel coworkers were there

i was basically the mc

i knew many of their names and when they talked about which hotel they worked with her at, i connected the dots and asked questions

one woman had written the sweetest rememberance

“amber was my friend. we would hike. i dont go any more. we used to go to zumba. she was my friend…”

she had broken english and it was adorable and heartbreaking all at once

i watched some youtube videos amber had made of me driving her around during the pandemic

it made me miss her so very much

i know shes in heaven

i hope she remembers me


am i doing well? no

amber vegas palms

today we are going to have a virtual memorial service for amber

ive been looking at pictures all week bc i am a crazy person

i miss her very much.

i get very emotional.

this astrologer lady says im gonna get into some fights in the next few days

so im thinking i should probably limit my social media usage

and maybe not uber

bc im so sensitive right now i dont wanna get in any fights

gonna cry like a baby later today at this memorial, i know

i wish i had done better

Lil drunk, might delete later

amberAmber and I were together from the entirety of the Trump administration. She moved in when he “won” and she left during the Insurrection. We were fighting and I turned on the news and I couldn’t believe what was happening.

She was all, is that more important than us? I was like, they’re trying to hang Mike Pence!

Speaking of drunk, we texted before we dated. During that getting to know each other she revealed she was sober. So on our first two dates I took her places like concerts or ballgames and I didn’t drink either bc I didn’t want it in her face.

I wanted to kiss her but I didn’t have my liquid courage. I realized I hadn’t made a first move on a date completely sober since I was in high school.

But also I feel most of my dates also included the woman also getting loose in one way or another to deaden the pain.

Finally we were at a Kiss concert and the two story lights flashed Kiss during Black Diamond, so I went for it. During that time she also wore very high heels. My first gf was tall. I didn’t give one bleep.

My mom wants me to cut down on the swear words.

Yesterday she reluctantly gave in to a 90 minute podcast with me.

We talked about giving birth to me, the men she dated when she got divorced, if men were pigs at work to this 31 year old newly single brown skinned woman [spoiler: “so many of them would have been Me Tooed”].

Next week I’m gonna edit it and put it on YouTube. I feel weird about Spotify. I’m an idealist, why am I letting Spotify- a company who steals from my favorite ppl: musicians – hold my most prized possession, my podcast?

So I’m going to make sure my YouTube account gets some of these side interviews I’m sure I’ll do more of in the future.

I only cried a little over Amber today. Once when I was driving my mom to get her nails done. She was concerned we would crash.

I said, Amber knows I’ve still got shit to do down here. She’s looking out for me.

Language Tony! My mom huffed.

amber’s sister called me today to tell me she had passed

tony pierce amber smith on melrose ave. 2021

amber and i lived together for four years.
half of that was during the pandemic in a tiny apartment.

you get to know someone in that situation.

amber mona lisa mask
as you probably know she had her demons. she struggled with addictions. But she was able to kick many of them admirably.
she enjoyed going to meetings.
she enjoyed doing things that would help her in her recovery.

her sister told me they learned it was complications of her diabetes that caused her death

amber working at the fairmont
for the last couple of years she was in Washington trying to get a fresh start.
she had a boyfriend – something that was never hard for her –
she had a job working at a fancy hotel – something she was great at.

the last time she texted me she told me she was 30 days sober.

before that text she asked me to write her a card. i was reluctant because i told her i thought we should chill out on conversing so we could both move on with our next chapters – something that’s hard to do when you’ve got one foot in the Past

amber in santa barbara reading from the laptop

but i did write the card. i dont remember what i wrote. it was hard to know what to say and the pens were old and didn’t want to work.

it was all so strange.

i was also worried what she wanted it for.

amber at a black lives matter rally in 2020.
im glad i sent it though because her follow up texts were so sweet.
she was such a truly genuinely sweet person.

she LOVED being a concierge. she loved being of service.

after a few of her friends started reading my blog they’d eventually ask, “you two are sooo different, what do you talk about?”

we talked about the hotel biz A Lot.
amber next to a black mercedes and palm trees in the parking lot of the academy archives on vine
we loved this book Heads in Beds which we listened to
on a long roadtrip to Spring Training
a few years ago.
one of my favorite memories of Amber was she was at the Four Seasons Beverly Wilshire on Rodeo
One of her favorite books was Michelle Obama’s Becoming.

She would read me parts of it as we drove.

amber at barnsdale park picnic pizza
We loved driving all over LA. sometimes with no destination in mind.

just holding hands talking about LA.

one day Michelle Obama was a guest at the hotel.

amber found out.
amber with the national guard
she told her boss that she had read the book several times and knew The First Lady loved cheese toast
and asked if it would be OK if she ran across the street and bought a special  toaster oven that could do the right things.
five star hotels love doing things like that for VIPs.
amber at LAX

she got the ok, ran and got the toaster, fresh bread, the fixins for cheese toast and went up to the room.To her surprise Barack Hussein Obama opened the door.

Surprise bc it was top secret that he had arrived while she was out buying the toaster.

Mr President, I have read your wife’s book and I know she likes cheese toast,

so it’s my honor to deliver this to her with our regards.
She said Barack’s face lit up.
I want you to know how hard i tried to make things better for her.
I am so sorry i failed.
amber at the lana del rey concert in las vegas
When her sister said her favorite years were the ones with me i couldnt help thinking, but i wasn’t able to save her.
But we can’t, I guess.
Not always.
But dont let that stop you from trying.
amber doorway





things i learned this week

  1. when the beatles played their final concert at the Stick it wasnt as packed as youd think
  2. if shohei ohtani became a Cub i would have a very hard time not moving back to chicago during baseball season
  3. im easily distracted
  4. i love having my blog back
  5. i love how much ive been able to write this summer even though it was hard
  6. throwing away dirty tupperware is fun
  7. probably gonna throw more things out the rest of the year
  8. my sleeping patterns are bad
  9. buying food from street vendors is a better use of my limited funds for the global economy than always going to the big grocery store or the franchise drive thru
  10. i dont smoke as much weed as i thought i would once it became legal
  11. even though i work from home and make my own schedule, this summer ive gone to very few movies
  12. ppl w adhd love caffeine
  13. i only care about fantasy baseball leagues where the commissioners are either cheating lying or terrible
  14. im addicted to midjourney



just finished work, its 344am

it was a hard week. wasn’t sure i could pull it off, but even the losers get lucky sometimes

i was able to do tons of rock stories, a podcast, a blogpost for that podcast, all the social media for it

now i can make thumbnails for the youtube page. the funny thing about the youtube page is at a glance you can see the hits to each of the episodes. whats fascinating is some of the episodes are doing way better than others.


i really want to spend some time re-doing the descriptions because clearly some are really working while others arent.

i also want to experiment on youtube shorts. i have this theory about bible verses. i dont think a lot of people who love the bible Also know how to make it look cool.

im not saying im that person, but what’s interesting about Christianity is, even if its hokey or cringe or lame, people respond to it. some of the songs, for example, in church are the worst tonal arrangements, terrible rhyming, and just plain bizarre – without being cool bizarre. and yet, it makes it to the show on Sunday


so even if my bible verse shorts are super lame, i bet they still get views.

i have 400+ subscribers on the Hear in LA youtube channel, in part because of the extraneous videos i put up there. yes theres the 104 episodes, but those were never intended to get huge views.

but when i talked to Victor at the Vista we talked about the Let’s All Go To The Lobby concession stand vintage clip. i wanted it for the blog page and noticed it was public domain, so I downloaded it and uploaded it right back up there, but with a better descriptor.


that mfer has 66,000 views. No it’s not millions, but it got me half of those subscribers. You only need 1,000 subscribers to start making money on YouTube.

If somehow I could spend just an hour a day working on that channel I bet you I could start paying the rent off youtube in a year or two.

i dont think it’s that hard.


things i’ve written in the first half of September for Setlist

Five Amy Winehouse Great Performances

Hozier Plays “First Time” For The First Time in Show Me State

Lynyrd Skynyrd Saves Venue and Records Live LP

Beyoncé ‘Mute Challenge’ Has a Much Longer Predecessor

Five Beautiful Neil Peart Drumming Moments

Eagles Kick Off First Leg of Long Goodbye Tour in NYC

Papa Roach, Shinedown, Oliver Anthony Serenade Fans in Campground

Gwen Stefani Returns to Anaheim to Celebrate Honda Center’s 30th

Five Opening Acts Who Would Become Perennial Headliners

Setlist History: Blues Brothers Record Live Show That Goes #1

Busted Greatest Hits Tour Now With Hanson

Chart History: Taylor Swift’s ‘Lover’ Album Debuts at #1

Bruce Springsteen Postpones September Shows Due To Ulcer

Setlist History: R.E.M. Debuts 9 Songs In Pageantry Kick-off

Aerosmith Kicks Off Peace Out… Farewell Tour in Philly

First Time, Last Time: Steve Harwell Sings “All Star”

Sting Kicks Off North American Tour With Pair In Vegas

Pearl Jam Kicks Off North American Mini Tour With Rarities

First Time, Last Time: Jimmy Buffett Sings “Margaritaville”

Chart History: BTS Becomes First All-Korean Group To Go #1

Janelle Monáe Brings Pleasure & Live Debuts to Tour Kickoff


i am having a great day

my blog, my beautiful blog is working.

im putting the finishing touches on episode 104 of hear in LA

i wrote a piece i love on setlist

it’s about the most controversial classical piece in the world, 4’33” which i compared to the Beyonce “Mute Challenge”

no one seems to love it as much as i do. ha!

i also spent way too much time on a lynyrd skynyrd setlist history about when they saved an atlanta theater that my mom actually went to

i have three things to write tonight so i gotta go

hi blog!!!

i have had some beautiful days

got to hang with my bro the other day which is always great

how is he 40?!?!

that means im at least 41

we hung outside.  i didnt realize im such an indoor person that i got burned red after only being out there for 90 minutes.

got home and mama mia have i been working so hard.

how hard?

so hard i barely have time to drive. like today is thursday and i dont think i’ll be able to drive until tomorrow or the next day and only then for a day max.


yesterday we released our first new podcast since June. it was good to have the time off but adding the podcast to my already tough setlist schedule nearly killed me last night.

my issue is i love to research the setlist pieces. and that can talk 6 hours for just one piece. then writing it takes time, finding videos. i love it, i just wish there were 40 hours in a day instead of measly 8.

then the podcast blog post takes days and days. i squeeze it in when i can. and i got yesterdays up relatively late (630pm) but it was very well received from our guest, kate, a news anchor on tv, so that makes me happy.

theres like 3-4 people who i care if they like it, and then of course the subject.

today i need to prioritize and do my setlist things first because late night rock is annoying the neighbors

then i need to turn the podcast into a youtube video

then i need to apply some more aloe on these burns

oh man