Lucasfilms announced last week that the last three star wars films

would be re-released in 3d

some people hate 3d. i love it.

in fact i cant wait to see Jackass 3D this weekend.

when 3d is done right it turns into the biggest movie in the world, hello Avatar.

and yes some 3D movies are terrible and done terribly.

hello Home Alone 5 with Snookie: 3D

i dont know why George Lucas doesn’t want to do much but rehash his old stuff, but i do know that Walt Whitman just kept adding to Leaves of Grass his entire life and no one seemed to mind.

which is why id love Lucas to turn that bad boy into a 3D trilogy and call it a day.

this is Elina Shatkin

yes she is standing next to a replica of a frozen Han Solo surrounded with guacamole.

but why is she smiling?

thats a great question. shes smiling, and you should too, because she is the new 2nd Food Critic for the L.A. Weekly.

(The 1st food critic, Jonathan Gold, is a Pulitzer Prize winner.)

you may say to yourself, “hmmmm, Elina Shatkin, my that name sounds familiar, where have i seen that before on the busblog?”

well, Elina was the film editor of LAist when i was over there. she is the girlfriend of Rob Takata, who snapped the photo above from Guac Bowl 2009, who i worked with at E!

my memory is fuzzy but i believe Rob emailed me soon after i got my gig to introduce me to his main squeeze to write for the metro site.

oh no, thanks to Google Mail, heres the email pitch itself dated July 9, 2006!

Tony:

I’m sure you get a lot of submissions, but my friend, Rob Takata, suggested I send you my review of The Devil Wears Prada. Perhaps you’d be interested in printing it. Also, Rob says he saw The Groomsman earlier tonight, and “It wasn’t as bad as I thought.” He says he’ll get your his review soon.

Take care,
Elina Shatkin

my friend eh? wonder what the backstory was with that.

regardless Elina averaged about 4 posts a week for LAist during her run there, ended up at the Times before I did (*shakes fist) doing web production and writing for the food blog, among others, and now she gets to eat and write alongside one of the most beloved and respected foodies in the world, Mr Gold.

SEE, PEOPLE REALLY DO WIN ON MTV!

congratulations Elina, i am very very happy and proud of you!

leaving work yesterday i was pretending that i was marching

high stepping like a drum major

a woman who has worked for the paper for the last 15 years asked me if i take happy pills because i am almost always happy.

i consider that a compliment because No, i do not take any pills whatsoever, but also because she works within shouting distance from me and even though i love my job, its incredibly challenging since there is no more challenging space than the interwebs and she has the misfortune of seeing me during some very trying times.

but seriously only a jerk wouldnt be happy if he was in my shoes, especially at quittin time because i get to drive my little car to my many mansions and because ive somehow eluded most of the trappings of modern life i can do pretty much anything i want once the sun goes down.

that includes playing any variety of video or computer games, gardening in nothing but a Speed-o, or catching up on my ever bulging Tivo.

last night though karisa was throwing a little dinner party for a few of us. she hadnt broken out the fondue set in a while and with the holidays rapidly approaching who knows when we would all meet up again to dip our meats in her warm cheese.

for such a healthy lass she had cheese on pretty much every dish. there was a pre-fondue cheese plate, there was this fancy tiny plate with tomatoes and cheese, and then of course there was the actual fondue cheese of which we had delicious steak cubes, shrimp, and bread.

and wine for days.

our host has been in major detox mode for the past week and a half but couldnt resist having a few (dozen) glasses with her BFFs while Pandora shuffled on the tv.

ive noticed that wine has an extremely wide variety of reactions from people. some people get very happy, some get loving, some get freaked out, some start crying, and ive even seen some people – mostly girls – get oddly violent.

i get sleepy. so i drank sam adams’ oktoberfest brew, because i love america.

i pretty much love everything. even dumb things make me laugh. i think i laugh more than anyone youve ever met. im sure i laugh more than anyone ive ever met. maybe its because of the Cubs. compared to them everything is beautiful and lovely. for example da bears are 4-1 despite the worst backup qb in history.

the only thing that isnt beautiful and wonderful in my life is the cleanliness of my home and car and desk and mind. look at this room. most people look at this and say omg. which is what i say. omg wheres the stuff? the stuff is there. its just translucent.

secretly i think that karisa secretly threw the fondue party so she could wear her new six inch heels and tower over everyone.

when i throw a dinner party im gonna wear seven inch heels cuz secretly im extremely sad at all times. ps secretly nothing in here is true. i dont even know those people. only the dog.

october is only 11 days in and yet its truly been rocktober

first yoko ono lady gaga and friends blew my mind, then Black Lips were super fun last thursday

then of course monotonix delivered a performance i will never ever ever forget on saturday

but friday i found myself in the pit of the arcade fire. like most people i freakin adore them, ive seen them 3-4 times, and this was a great show. so great i got emotional a few times because it was so beautiful and spiritual and fun, and our “seats” couldnta been better. we were literally one person away from the stage.

my buddy todd martens went the night before and warned me that parking and traffic were crazy so we took the subway to alvarado and wilshire then took a cab to the show so we wouldnt have to spend hours looking for parking.

the ride was great. this dude from africa was listening to a radio minister and we talked about his sermon and laughed and laughed and praised the truest for saving afrique.

got to the show, what a beautiful venue. then the rock commenced and i know its hokey to talk about the concept of a Holy Spirit but if there is such a thing, it was alive, well, and gettin down at the arcade fire show.

the rich musicality of those canadian kids is amazing, and the fun they have, and the richness of the sound. these youngins somehow fluxuate between serious and childlike simultaneously. so fascinating.

then at the end bro jumped out into the stage and walked right into me. you can see it on the vid. we were so thrilled by the show that we walked about 4 miles to hollywood down vermont until we got tired. then we turned around, whistled for a cab, and bam got a cab. then had a tasty italian meal with wine and thanked the Lord above for blessing us so.

and i often thank him for you too, fyi.

genius

theres a level of greatness that i think we all aspire to. i know i do.

i wonder if i dont get there out of laziness or out of the fear that i really cant make it.

probably the former.

went hiking on saturday with karisa and her friend mary. first we did outdoor free yoga.

trust me, i was completely uncomfortable. the extent of my yoga has been in the comfort of my bachelor pad via Wii, and that one time in the basement of the Times.

lets just say im a rank amateur.

out there in the morning with all these perfect LA types, most of whom knew exactly what they were doing was both inspiring and embarrassing because some of the balance poses had me shaking and teetering and at times falling down.

at one point i had to take off my shirt cuz it was getting hot out there and yoga takes a lot out of you when the instructor has you constantly moving.

after we were done we did the hike that karisa and i have done several times.

except this time i was able to conquer the mountain with little difficulty. despite the heat.

which gives me hope that with practice anything is achievable.

not only that, but mix a little confidence and swagger, dreams can come true in badass ways. as the mysterious banksy proved in the opening of last nights simpsons.

i have seen the blissful conclusion of rock n roll

and its name is monotonix

an eon ago John Landau said he saw the future of rock n roll, and it was Bruce Springsteen.

its time to meet the new boss, same as the old boss in that the live show was frenzied and thrilling and uplifting and glorious

biggest difference between Bruce and Monotonix is after the sweaty freaky wild concert i have zero recollection of one word the singer, 40something year old, Ami Shalev said.

doesnt matter. he looks like a sweaty unfrozen caveman wearing nothing more than (un)tidy whities and sneakers and whatever he belted out from beneath his grizzled face was delivered from a higher place where words take a back seat to magic. and feeling is everything.

equal parts Gogol Bordello, Iggy Pop, Gwar, the comic strip BC, and the video game Gauntlet, at times all of this seems like a dream come true in the middle of a nightmare

straight outta Tel Aviv, the shirtless and equally hairy guitarist Yonatan Gat and drummer Haggai Fershtman kicked out the jams as Shalev scurried around Spaceland in Silver Lake terrorizing patrons with snot rockets, stealing their PBR tallboys, spraying the suds everywhere while literally climbing the walls of the former strip club sending all those in attendance for cover at times for fear of being Pabst-ized – or worse.

i knew things were going to be different when i saw the marshall half stacks being set up on the stage. no not in the back but on the front. the drums were pieced together in front of the stage and i asked for ear plugs from the bartender who handed them over with a smile.

smiles abounded as the trio ripped through their first number WHO CARES WHAT IT WAS CALLED as the diminutive singer ran around like a crazyperson in search for a garbage can which he promptly dumped on his drummer’s fuzzy head.

Fershtman just kept playing away until a fan took the plastic container off of the drummer and another fan placed it on his own head.

hello rock n roll, where the hell have you been all my life?

next thing you know the singer has stolen the snare from his drummer. like a Marx Brothers skit the drummer chases after him. the guitar blares the people are clapping the singer is shouting and finally places the snare next to the dividing wall. the bass drum arrives, cymbals make their way and the shirtless guitarist keeps the music coming and there we have the singer climbing the divider like a monkey.

followed by the guitarist. camera flashes everywhere. now the singer is using the curtains as a wig. now the beer is being kicked. now the smiles are everywhere.

now do you see why the Beatles bore me?

then the singer jumps into the crowd. then the singer jumps on the back of the drummer and hangs there. then the snare is moved to the back of the club. now the singer stands precariously on the tiny cocktail table. the crowd moves along with him. all eyes are on the commotion. no one knows what they are experiencing BUT IT IS ROCK MUSIC

this is not a joke band this is what God envisioned when he accepted Robert Johnson’s soul at the crossroads and inspired les paul to create the electric guitar.

this is why the terrorists love us. this is why you’re fat.

because you arent scurrying around a rock club being lifted up by eager fans who are now holding the drummer’s throne so that the singer can beat on a drum also being hoisted up by fans.

i thought arcade fire were amazing the night before BUT AS USUAL I AM SORELY MISTAKEN!

mayhem begat mayhem as fans began pouring beer on the band and strewn drum sticks found their way between your hero’s legs by a naughty female sitting on the stage.

the stage by the way filled with fans as that was the safest place in the club.

the fourth wall was tossed away the minute the performance began and how were we to know that there was a fifth and six wall that would be destroyed as well. ADIOS!

oh hai, now he’s using the rigging on the ceiling as a cowbell. give this messiah a grammy stat!

iPhones were constantly in danger of being drenched. and im sure there were a plethora of electronic casualties but WHO THE EFF CARES we were experiencing LIFE

and love and passion and essence of Soul Music.

whoops now the band is on the bar. whoops now the singer has the jar of lime slices. heads up now theyre being strewn at the patrons. as are the coffee stirrers and the straws. and the cocktail napkins. the guitarist is on the bar. is that blood on my shirt? yes! it wants to see the show too!

after the fastest 45 minutes youve ever seen the show is over. but no one wants to leave. life as we know it has been changed. outside is america but america is but a dull shell of itself now. cant we stay forever in awe of these three jewish rock gods? i hug the singer. his sweat heals me. my comrade poses with the singer. her soul is renewed. the amps are still buzzing. WE ARE ALL STILL BUZZING

HERE IT IS a half a day later AND I AM STILL BUZZING.

this is a band that often sets their instruments and clothes on fire but obviously Los Angeles would have none of that but it didnt matter as our hearts were aflame with the sound of music.

and our eyes will never see anything like it again.

ALL HAIL MONOTONIX forever shall they reign.

how to know when youre old

by tony pierce, 113 years jung

one of my favorite music promotion agencies Filter is throwing a four-day rock fest starting today. meanwhile all these hot babes keep raving about The Black Lips (who i always confuse with The Black Keys, cuz im old, and thats what happens)

so i got to the secret place and pick up my wristband and talk to the nice people who have turned me on to some of my now favorite bands (the grates, the go team, the format – now Fun – and sea wolf) and they tell me the cool bands to check out

and they too are going gaga over The Black Lips and tell me that they’ll see me at the show tonight. right on i say, oh btw, when are they gonna play. and they tell me Midnight. and its sold out, so get there a tad earl.

now a super hot babe has been telling me she wants me to go with her. and things turned out in such a way that i actually Could go with her cuz now i have a wristband. and its at a small place. but its at midnite. and i really truly AM olde.

and when you get to my age and when youve lived in LA longer than many people have been alive you get the feeling that you’ve “seen it all”. so you know youre old when a midnight show is too late for you.

which is why im gonna be at the echoplex tonight, drink in hand, in the pit, cuz if theres one thing i fear worse than being boring, its THAT GUY who says omg thats way too late to see a rock show cuz i hafta be at work in the morn.

so suck it father time.

now pardon me as i soak my chompers and take a disco nap.