how to know when youre old

by tony pierce, 113 years jung

one of my favorite music promotion agencies Filter is throwing a four-day rock fest starting today. meanwhile all these hot babes keep raving about The Black Lips (who i always confuse with The Black Keys, cuz im old, and thats what happens)

so i got to the secret place and pick up my wristband and talk to the nice people who have turned me on to some of my now favorite bands (the grates, the go team, the format – now Fun – and sea wolf) and they tell me the cool bands to check out

and they too are going gaga over The Black Lips and tell me that they’ll see me at the show tonight. right on i say, oh btw, when are they gonna play. and they tell me Midnight. and its sold out, so get there a tad earl.

now a super hot babe has been telling me she wants me to go with her. and things turned out in such a way that i actually Could go with her cuz now i have a wristband. and its at a small place. but its at midnite. and i really truly AM olde.

and when you get to my age and when youve lived in LA longer than many people have been alive you get the feeling that you’ve “seen it all”. so you know youre old when a midnight show is too late for you.

which is why im gonna be at the echoplex tonight, drink in hand, in the pit, cuz if theres one thing i fear worse than being boring, its THAT GUY who says omg thats way too late to see a rock show cuz i hafta be at work in the morn.

so suck it father time.

now pardon me as i soak my chompers and take a disco nap.

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