and if ever there was someone sweet it’s courtney love. go pick up her new record america’s sweetheart whereever records are sold.

bary larkin leads off the sixth. foul ball to right. one and one.

kerry wood hasnt looked all that but hes getting them out, grounder over second but slowly enough for gonzo to grab it and throw it to lee at first for the first out.

ken griffey junior misses a sinker for strike one. but doesnt fall for it a second time, one and one. griffey still uses the black under his eyes even though…. well hes black.

kerry jams him he pops up and holds that classic pose with the bat down and left arm bent retardedly.

pops up again foul. hes thirty four years old. how does time continue to fly.

and when you fly fly southwest.

derek lee catches this high pop. griffey never had a chance.

first pitch to casey is a groundout to short.

and just like that the reds are up and down. hope you didnt put too many quarters in the meter cuz we’re headed to the bottom of the sixth

home of the cubs who were a foul ball away from the world series last year.

jason la rue slams the first pitch to uh ram iz at third who takes it on a tough hot but rifles it to first for the reds’ first out.

wily mo is up yo and just like that its 0-2. kerry hangs a curve and wily mo drives it into shallow center and here comes lidle who bunts but derrek lee takes a risk and throws it to second, barret calls second, gonzo is at second and the force out is called what a play.

thats defense kids. that wont show up on sportscenter but its that shit that wins ball games.

jiminez lines it to second. for his third lineout of the day. kerry keeps his shutout going. we’ve got a pitchers duel here at wrigley.

alex gonzales starts it up for the cubs, yes what

he lined it to the pitcher who traps it with his knees and glove. maybe a foot from his family jewels.

sixty feet six inches is where that rubber is.

kerry wood digs in. one ball and a strike.

curveball wide for ball two.

keep drinking kids. keep drinking.

ball three, three and one.

drink again.

kerry fouls it and the count is full. i had a nice dinner last night with the girl. she didnt want to kiss me for some reason.

kerry grounds to larkin at short. now shes at the baking against bush rally in silverlake.

she and her friends made some baked goods and theyre selling them today and giving the money to kerry.

drink and think kids, drink and think.

todd walker to jimenez and thats it for the cubs in the fifth. three up three down and we’re scoreless going already to the sixth

first out. bringing up moises alou.

the cubs fans arent booing theyre saying alouuuuuu.

lidle has nothing. first pitch is 84 mph and high ball one. a 77 mph curve falls over the plate for strike two. moises pops the next one up high. high. high but larkin camps out under it and theres two outs. where are the bats from yesterday mary kay?

air uh miss whiffs at strike two. cubs are making lidle look like christy matthewson. uh ram has like a .500 average against lidle which rhymes with ladel which you want lots of if youre eating campbells chunky soup. but i use a spoon.

foul ball on a hanging curve. still no balls for ramirez.

fouls another one back. twelve dozen balls. thats how many are used in a common major league baseball game.

thats my guess, what do i know, im blogging this.

the trainer comes out to see if uh ram is is ok, he says see, spelled si and proves it with a shot past the second baseman for the cubs first baserunner since the first inning.

derek lee is up he could be the key to the world series for the cubs he drives it through the hole at short and the cubs have two runners on with two outs here in the bottom of the fourth with michael barrett up batting 345.

the former expo catcher takes the first one low for a ball.

drink every time i say ball, and when you do, drink with style, old style beer.

reds dont have much of a bullpen so it would be key to get up on lidle now. slow grounder to second who tosses it to larkin who tags the bag and the cubs waste a little rally.

balls.

hi, this is satan asking for your soul. ninth caller gets a free trip to hell, expenses paid, food and beverage. just kidding this is your pal tone bringing you todays cubs game for all the men and women and all ships at sea.

its windy today at wrigley field and its sunny and kerry wood is on the mound and barry larkin is what a hundred years old. but he looks great. fit trim but grounds it to short and nearly beats it out. maybe hes just ninety.

youve gotta love that griffey is not only back but hitting well. the cubs have their shortstop behind second, todd walker is in the hole and air uh miss is at short basically. he could but but he doesnt. wood strikes him out on a spinny slider.

two outs for the reds.

casey at bat. sean casey has the black under his eye and cant hold up on strike one. he twitches and touches his helmet and has a routine that includes lifting his back leg up like a horse and planting it down. looks at strike two which rhymes with blue. selson blue shampoo and conditioner is on sale at walgreens. selson blue.

wood gets casey to oh and two. and then hits casey on the toe. hes awarded first base.

adam dunn digs in with his four homers already this season. he can hit.

so we’re at two outs with casey at first and dunn down two balls and a strike. wood is whipping out the change ups and theyre deadly. two and two to dunn who watches the count fill.

the crowd claps.

inside curve way inside. wood walks dunn which isnt so bad cuz here comes freel.

kerry wood struggling a little bit here cub fans. two outs into the fourth and kerry has already thrown 59 pitches to 14 batters. but he wears number 34 and thats sweetness.

selson blue is at walgreens. dont forget that. on sale.

kerry wood takes freel 1-2 the crowd is warming up. looking for the kills. strike three called over the outside corner. no score at wrigley going to the bottom of the fourth.

who is being accused of lying to a grand jury investigating of a 2001 shootout outside a manhattan radio station. when messy stains got you down, dont pout, shout it out.

shes the queen bee you know.

kerry wood holds his shit brown glove in front his face and looks in at michael barrett. his name is pronounced willie. but its spelled wily. wily mo pena stands in there against kerry wood who once struck out 20 houston astros. in four games wily mo has two hits in six at bats and one of those hits was a two run homer. he’s big. no, wily.

oh and two and wily sends a pop foul to right, it drifts out of play but not before derrek lee bangs against the brick right field wall. wily fouls another one back. in seven at bats against wood, wily has wiffed five times. now it’s six. second strike out for kerry today.

pitcher cory lidle up nobody on shit drives it deep and long to the far right field corner for a double.

d’angelo jimeniz pronounced him in ez takes wood two and two. i had the combo number 17 today at jack in the box. the ultimate croissant, egg, bacon cheese mayo.

jimenez line shot up the middle gonzales snatches it in the air flips it to bro at second double play. and just like that the cubs are up.

thats your shout shoutout-standout.

kerry wood leads off the cubs half of the third. one of the best hitting pitchers in the game perhaps due to his big ass. first pitch pops up to wily mo pena. and i still say that sounds like a name for a little kid.

cubs second bagger todd walker formerly of the rockies is batting 370 in the first two weeks of the season fists one foul almost hits the line and the count is one and two. lidle really isnt that good of a pitcher. this shouldnt be that hard for the cubs and their home grown wood. walker gets foold and grounds it back to lidle who throws it over to first two outs.

thats one three if youre scoring at home and if you are think of her needs too.

corey patterson quickly down with a ground out to first and thats it for the cubs in the third.

lil kim we love you baby.

drives it to the wall in left center. yesterday that would have hit a building across the street. today its a flyout.

adam dunn pulls it hard down the first base line. derrick lee knocks it down but never gets it. infield hit.

ryan freel with one out. michael barrett cant handle a pitch off the lip of the plate it gets past him and goes to the backstop. runner advances.

it is windy but its blowing in. curve strike brings the count to 2-2.

its sunny.

uh ram iz gets the grounder looks at dunn go back to second and throws freel out at first. two outs.

jason la rue is batting 150 so far and quickly has two strikes on him. pitcher on deck. 86 mph slider inside he whiffs. game still tied going to the cubs half of the second.

derrek lee pops it up to griffey in center. how nice is it to see griffey in center. cory lidle is on the mound for the reds.

michael barrett is in the hole oh and two. i got laid last night and this morning. after we went to jack in the box and i realize that i eat a lot of fast food when someone has a car around. barrett fouls one off and then looks at ball one. hot chick. theyre all hot. this one particularilly. we listened to vu live sixty nine grounder to larkin.

alex gonzales first swing shot to freel at third. quick inning for the cubs. no score.

as blogged by tony pierce

kerry wood has a fat ass, but it helps him, and it looks flabby in his baggy home whites. the cubs best pitcher is on the mound for the cubs today and he just owned junior. one called strike high one whiff at a change at the toes and a weak long drive to center.

three up and three down for the goateed flamethrower.

the cubs of 2004 have four of the best cubs to put on the pinstripes in twenty years.

maddux, wood, prior, and sosa.

with patterson on first from a fielders choice sammy sends one deep to right wind blowing in and it bounces off the bricks for a double.

alou sends the count to 2-2 then 3-2 then walks draws a walk.

yesterday the cubs came back from five runs back to beat these reds 11-10.

bases loaded two balls on aramis ramirez

uh-rahmiss is how he pronounces it.

dont swing, lidles wild and the winds blowing in

swings and chops the ball down to third, freel tags third and throws it across the infield to first.

double play.

no score.

end of the first.

that i will call

Blogger’s Digest

it was sad today when i was walking around campus during one of my many breaks and i said “god, i don’t know what i’m doing. with anything. nothing makes sense.” and she told me “nobody knows. but it’s good not to have everything completely settled. that’s boring

it’s comforting to realize that you have friends that can say things like that. there are many different kinds of friends in the sea. the kind that just get you and you get them completely and you love them forever.

and then it varies all the way down the scale to people you just sometimes see and sometimes hang out with but you never really have good conversation or too many things in common and you get along only when the going’s good.

well, fuck the going.

– tiffany

while it’s good i can’t tell you how thrilled a boy becomes to read himself distilled into the words i pick to describe him. superhuman, massive, gentle and like a rubik’s cube. so many angles and they all feel so flattering.

truth is i have a hard time picking at first. talk about his biceps? how great he is in bed? the way he gets all shy and makes me feel like i’m bigger than life?

what? what next?

they tune in. they can’t help it.

but eventually it gets ugly and then every fucking post feels to be about them as far as they’re concerned. they don’t know me well enough to know that a breakup unearths so much that i just bring it all out and start talking about shit that happened six years ago before i even knew them. shit they’ve nothing to do with. some just internalize and act on the thing. some ask me about it. it’s gotta tear them up. but still.

they tune in. they can’t help it.

so vain. you’d think i was a one-hit wonder. you’d think i’d never felt so deeply as i do for them.

– angelina

every single one of those complementary hair care products is formulated with soy, wheat, or fd&c colorings. those allergens are clearly listed on the label but are only three out of the 9287303401723487 ingredients i am no longer allowed to welcome into my life.

flagrant says: “fuck ebay, i want this crap out of my house.”

note: $$$$

flagrant says: “no, you’re not getting me… i’m not touching it.”

consider: a little bit over the top as the products are in sealed bottles.

consider: deliver them to a charitable organization?

flagrant says: “…and nobody’s putting it in my car.”

– flagrant disregard

I’m so sick of Donald Trump.

Either get a hat on or get out of the public eye.

– bunny mcintosh

The Girl’s Night story is just too long to type, but the bartender kept putting his arm around my waist, each time he brought me a beer…so of course I kept ordering beers : )

– jaylex

whatever fuckwads who think self-loathing is out. well, it is i guess, but you know, FUCK YOU. it’s not that someone like me is all yah my condition lends me the ability to SEE and KNOW the truth, that shitty copout all cynics give you. bullshit on that. it’s only a wall, you feel, is there. and you’re always different than everybody else and you always hate everybody else and everybody else pretty much always hates you. ‘specially if you reside in a suburban rich kid town and refuse to dye your hair blond. every girl fights here and wants to fight me. uuuuuuuuh-ok. it’s obviously because i am so pretty. pfft.

i dreamt i was incredibly fat last nite.

– raymi

my girl raspil has a new layout and its better than yours

tonight

blondie – house of blues

metric – el rey

bobby mcferrin – cerritos center

bacon brothers – key club

TSAR – Hangar 1018, 1018 S. Santa Fe, downtown – MIDNIGHT

$5 if you print out this flyer

tomorrow

TSAR – the good hurt, 8:30p

they might be giants – royce hall

the darkness – henry fonda

angry samoans – anarchy library

david lindley – mccabes

wild child – whisky

buck o nine – malibu inn

sunday 4/18

the darkness – henry fonda

happening harry & happtones (guns, poison members) – cat club

monday 4/19

jimmy reid – bb king’s

wayne kramer – cat club

michelle shocked – troubador

tuesday 4/20

shapes of racecars, monty, axl, mark antonides – the derby

cypress hill – henry fonda

kottonmouth kings – key club

michael penn – largo

michelle shocked

wed 4/21

beyonce, alicia keys, missy elliott – the pond

br-549 – the derby

thurs 4/22

morrissey – wiltern

star fuckers – cat club

fantomas – henry fonda theatre

jc chasez – house of blues

riley dog + simpleton + steph

directed by quentin tarantino

cinematography by robert richardson

starring uma thurman, daryl hannah, michael madsen, and david carradine as bill.

quentin tarantino has made his third perfect movie and he not only made it look easy, but made it look fun.

the writing is flawless the acting is solid but the look is fresh and the comedy is there and the action is there and the only thing thats not there is theres not enough stars in the heavens to award this film.

it was as if quentin filmed kill bill, realized it was a damn good three-hour movie but decided instead to hold back the best parts for the “sequel” and call the leftovers kill bill vol 1.

the rumors of you not needing to see the first to enjoy the second are true.

kill bill vol 2 stands on its own and shines on its own, it sneers on its own, its amazes on its own, its such a gargantuan shock to the heart that its almost like vol 1 was a warm up for what quentin knew he could do.

vol 2 runs laps around vol 1 in a way that vol 1 should have just been dvd extras, missing scenes, and deleted moments of this instant classic.

this is a dress rehearsal of a wedding between genius and artistry. action suspense humor, depth, subtlety, and beauty. the way movies should be made but simply cant be made because theres only one quentin and his fastball moves.

this is the work of a maturing filmmaker caught completely in stride, no longer the video store clerk trying to prove that he can direct, no longer the wigger in the kangol trying to show off his record collection.

this is the quentin tarantino that everyone hoped for after the one two punch of reservoir dogs and pulp fiction that never was realised in the pair of films that followed.

this movie was so good that i bypassed the miramax + ascis afterparty so i could run home and tell you to go right away before people start giving away the juicy bits because there are some parts that people are going to start talking about and it’s far better to see them for yourself unspoiled.

kill bill 2 gets the busblogs highest rating. as someone who was lucky enough to see pulp fiction the day it came out, i felt just as satisfied leaving this film, and i definately wasnt the only one.

john stakes + evhead + the detox