im pooped so i will include Ashley’s take of my Year End Review, if you have any email them!

Your Beautiful Work Of Art Year In Review – a review by ashley

01. “Urine Review” – beautiful. Bobby Brady looking geeky. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more

02. Index – who’s that cool girl? I adore the “no way could this be true”

caption. Looks awesome

03. January – loving that the first picture I ever saw of you is right there.

[in which you are FAR + AWAY the cutest boy of them all]. I tend to stay away from these old school links b/c it’s usually just naked chicks.

However, since the first naked chick on the list is my FAVORITE naked chick, I’ll look

around a little more … WOW! next link is another one of my FAVORITE naked

chicks, not naked in this picture however. We were destined from the start, huh? [after going thru your adorable PeopleSupport tribute, i’ve come to the conclusion that you should go back and save the Internet]

[oh + that you’re super cute even when painted green]

04. February – oooh it’s me! + a little icon you made for me. remember that?

i said ‘i need a picture that represents balancing’. you did a grand job. so i’m noticing your large background pics don’t even take 1/2 as long to load

nowadays as compared to the old stuff. well done. i thoroughly enjoyed reading the transcript of our ‘last correspondance’ aka speed survey.

05. March – i think the unemployment receipt is so cute. perfect touch. ok you look SO CUTE in that pic w/ the blonde porn star [janine]. you know the one. nice to see you called me jjl on that survey page, thank you. “9. What kind of person do you want to marry?: madonna whore, of course. if she cant cook thats ok.” sounds like i’m in! oh + look at that, “daisy princess representing”. i lov eyou

06. April – thanks for getting rid of the slippers picture. seeing your house makes me wish i was there an ungodly amount. what a lovely surprise to see “are you gonna eat that?” is peppered by my picture. + DUDE i am so still craving your cheese tacos, 9 months after you invented them! I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT GETTING RID OF THE SLIPPERS PICTURE! + i see you never fixed the “bye ash – april index” all being one big link. it’s ok, i still love you + think you’re smart

07. May – gosh i am so in love w/ your vegasgirl story 🙂 really. it makes me all kinds of happy. just read the rest of it + wow. i seriously dig you a LOT. i love buffy’s dead too. hehe. i was crying a lot over that. “luck” will always be a favorite as well. you read that to me over the phone while i was eating pizza + watching some fashion special on E!

08. June – there’s me unseen in the background! our little secret huh? don + jen’s wedding was really fun, i loved your stuff about it. after seeing bday tributes for jeanine, karisa, + now chris, i really am looking forward to jan. 11th.

“sam” somehow made it onto 2 different months. i guess since you included the extensive look back at spring, its ok that you missed some links

on the june index. LIKE THE OH SO IMPORTANT: RUNNING + 99 CENT +

ASHSELFPORTRAIT!!!!!! i do love that paco though.

09. July – probably the ugliest month so far, but i know you love the dude, so i’ll let it slide. + now i’m about to have a heartattack b/c it seems like

you have left out my FAVORITE THING FROM YOUR SITE EVER!!!!! ASHLEY + I RENT

A CAR!!!!!! i dont think i can go on. you just broke my heart a lot. i am SO hoping your sake that you accidently put it in august. arggggg

10. August – and no. somehow you manage to leave out a link to the thing i always always always tell you is my favorite thing you’ve ever done. i’m

going to cry. honestly. i better put a huge warning about this at the top of this email, telling you to fix that NOW!!!!! at least you included ashley cooks with me. there’s still hope for you, i guess.

11. September – while i’m recovering from the shock of the exclusion of my favorite tonypierce.com creation, i will say that this one looks really rad.

but don’t go thinking i like you now or something. even though its now 5.38am + ive been doing this for like 2 hours. i never looked for ashley + i rent a

car in the summer index. if its not there, i will really have to ask the scientologists to bomb your pad. you are so lucky. 2nd row, all the way to

the right. you’re not completely off the hook, even though i liked the title of “ashley made this pic”. + i really liked “ash says hi“, i forgot all about that. see, even smart people forget important things.

12. October – looks pretty, nice usage of pinkwhooooooooo! better pink! GWEN! yay thanks. did i ever tell you how well you substituted the “ROCK” on her belt for “TONY”? really impressive. i love the drew on snl pages a lot. it

lets the world see what a HUGE FREAKY DORK i am. oh gosh. you’re lucky i love you so much, otherwise i would die of embarrasement over this stuff being

public. look what you had uploaded on your own site all this time:

http://www.tonypierce.com/images/drew/Drew%20&%20Tom%20-%20photo.jpg

i read this date with bunny page in the kids section of the library. i like

halloween even if theres way too much of the cam girls.

13. November – BEAUTY of a meteor shower pic way to go baby.oooh + theres me!

yay. very very good to see ashsback, i wouldve spit on my computer if you

missed that one. wow i missed like more than half of these!!! what the fuck.

this is weird. thanks for saying i can be funny as hell! wow. i love you now.

changed my mind once i read this: “i wrote about dumb stuff like teenage girls” you are so mean.

14. December – wow, just when i thought july was the ugliest month … spoke too soon i guess. you forgot to change the meteor shower caption, so that’s

still under phil. very nice to see 3 pages of me. even the mean tom/drew page

tickled my fancy

ULTIMATE GRADE – B

[extra credit can be obtained in the form of a HUGE + BRILLIANT link to

ashley + me rent a car]

i love you a lot. taking that journey of your life + meetng you + our time

spent together was really fun. kept me up until 6am, i hope youre proud. i

can’t wait to be with you.

xoxoxoxo

Daisy Kisses,

ASHLEY*

and cuz im a moron. here i have another four-day weekend coming up, plenty of time to spend all night playing stupidly addictive video games, and there i was last night Starting a new game instead of cleaning my house or working on my site. whatever.

ashley called last night at around 2am and we talked for a good hour and a half as i was building my empire. she really wants me to come to vegas for my lil vacation and i’d really like to go, but all the presents i bought you all over Christmas has broken me and it looks like i’ll have to focus my carnal attentions domestically. and watch some football. and not shave for a few more days. and clean my house. and do my laundry. and paint my bed room. and not do shit. and ask out this girl at work. and finish this book im reading. and get Layne his mail. and pay my ridiculous phone bill.

i tell you these things because im still getting baffling emails from people including a few where the fellas think that life aint nothin but bitches and money. gentlemen, to a point, that’s all true. but i know you play The Sims, and i’m not the cleanest Sim, i will put my food right on the ground after ive cooked it. And anyone who has played that game knows that either you have to get a clean Sim to cohabitate with or you have to spend a little extra gametime tidying up the domicile, and now is that time.

Speaking of which, my former boss left the other day and told me that he built a Sim house where he made a room with no windows or doors and just starved his little guy out. Funny, but, ok, not so funny. It was funny at the time.

Ashley wasnt happy with yesterday’s story about Mariah. She wants every entry to be about her, who can blame her. I told her that nothing in here is true, she said, no i saw some truth in there. I said yeah, I watched the Clippers game, that was about it. She said, please come out here I will do anything once you arrive. I said anything? she said anything. i said you’ll dress up like a surfer girl and sit on my lap at the Bellagio Sports Book and fetch me cocktail weenies as we watch the Raiders on Saturday and the Bears on Sunday, she said anything.

I said, would you go to Gameworks with me and be the shooter while I drive on that one Jurrassic Park game, then ride the coaster at New York New York, then escort me over to the bowling alley and watch me bowl and then join me in the hot tub where we debate the influence of the designated hitter on the decline of baseball and then adjourn with me to the room where we watch “Baby Boy” on pay-per-view repeatedly and then raid the breakfast buffet in the early morn? She said, anything.

Which just goes to prove that sometimes it’s good to have a little extra cash stashed away so that you can fulfil the dreams of a sweet teen princess who will have to spend new years alone on her laptop in a chat room instead of at a bowling alley at a casino with a fading superstar.

So save your nuts, little squirrels, winter has just begun.

home | Buy your friends t-shirts, for Kwanzaa

maybe for you it is, but not for me.

ashley has an 18 yr old ex boyfriend named rocko who drove his old pickup from vegas to LA a few days ago to see the Incubus show. he brought along his buddy Wilbur. they were supposed to meet this girl who got them into the vegas show infront of the Universal Ampitheatre’s main gate. They had no money. They didnt have a cell phone number for her. So, of course, she didnt show up. And their drive across the desert was a waste.

meanwhile, completely unrelated, last night Ashley got stuck at Burbank Airport. Her plane to Vegas had started in Reno, but it got snowed-in in Reno before it had a chance to pick her up at Bubank and it was the last plane to Vegas. also completely unrelated, Rocko and Wilbur are driving back to Vegas today and Ashley hates flying and considers the cancellation/snow-in a Sign from Above not to fly, so she called Rocko’s cell phone and asked him if he would, when he leaves Redondo Beach today, pick her up at my Hollywood mansion.

He said no. He said, that he doesnt know LA well enough, that he knows the freeway to take him to Vegas and if she wants to ride with him for me to take her to Redondo Beach this morning and drop her off.

all this happened last night. while i was trying to sleep.

when you start seeing a sweet teenaged girl you dont see these situations appearing. you dont see anything. you forget that when you’re in highschool all the fights are ridiculous, that people really dont know what battles to sign up for and what battles to forget. you certainly dont think that if you had the chance to call in sick to work cuz theres a long haired blonde girl wrapped up in your sheets begging for you to stay, that you wouldnt.

begging i tell you.

like i said, life is never what you think it’ll be. that’s why i keep buying those lottery tickets.

rocko, you’re a punk and i hope your peice of shit car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and the crows peck out your eyes after the desertfolk steal your shoes.

*** news flash ***

this just in: Rocko has decided to take Ashley home after all. Yay for all things that end happily. may your car motor at safe speeds happily to your home. amen. and thus ends today’s soap opera drama. tune in next time when tony’s phone rings at three thirty in the morning to sobs and nose-blowings.

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