he is now 104 years young.

born to upper crust socialites on a cruise ship off the dutch antillies, charlie grew up priveledged but not spoiled. loved but not too much.

after he graduated from junior high school, charlie’s parents lived up to their threat of kicking him out of the house until he had read tolstoys finest work, anna karenina.

it was a miserable summer for chuck out there in the woods of bel air, especially since he was such a painfully slow reader.

but that experience not only shaped our birthday boy into the well-read writer and editor that he is today,

but it taught him a skill no one ever expected: hustling the three card monty scam like a fucking pro.

that and being able to cook over an open fire with very little tools or ingrediants.

i first met charlie in college, he took me for $75 that i didnt have and after he threatened to slice my cheek open with his sparkling pinkie ring he recruited me to write for the daily nexus, the campus newspaper.

at $10 an article it took me a while to pay him back, especially after the “interest” began compounding, but sometime around my second senior year we were even.

charlie then went off to prague with the rest of my friends and singlehandedly brought down the berlin wall. which sorta wasnt cool since it was in the national museum of vienna at the time, 1993.

when he returned years later to san francisco, charlie, ken layne, hippie mike, and dan k smith and i shared a flat on haight street near fillmore.

some of the adventures were captured in laynes brillant novel, dot.con.

charlie and ken, as history will show, ran one of the finest news web sites of all, tabloid, which was far ahead of its time, and if it were around today would give the onion, the daily show, and drudge, a run for its money.

eventually charlie and his longtime love bonnie moved down here to LA, and last year they honored me by inviting me to take part in their wedding… as the minister… a role ive avoided for years.

charlie and bonnie met me at my hillside a-frame, and after several hours of intense questioning and threats i agreed to perform the ceremony. the scariest thing ive ever done in my life.

and one of the all time coolest.

so heres to you charlie k hornberger.

secret weapon of the santa barbara mafia.

friend to all, example in class, and purveyor of elegance.

the day charlie and bonnie were hitched + mc brown + emmanuelle + i cant wait to vote

probably the coolest man alive.

sixty and on a world tour.

sixty and knocking up south american girls like it aint no thing.

sixty and can still sing.

the celebration started early here in the hollywood foothills when i went through with a date that i had with a girl who during the last two meetings wouldnt so much as even kiss me. prounouncing repeatedly on both occasions that she was “over” me.

over.

and because life is a roulette wheel where one should always bet on black sometimes the girls who are over you will miraculously find themselves under you when you least expect it.

for no good reason. not like you deserve it. not like you did anything right.

dark skinned girl.

not of this world.

full lips thatd id kissed before but forgotten about

permanent pout.

we talked through the best movies and brainstormed

she told me i had great ideas and i went on and on cuz i do have great ideas motherfucker.

we hadnt kissed or held hands or done anything other than sit on opposite ends of the couch.

and i said lets continue this conversation in the other room.

only one other room in this house.

always be closing.

and she said can i pee first.

felt like i was with an ex wife. familiar but formal. hesitant yet heated.

but better she said than any other

and then we toasted to mr. mick jagger.

no use for virtue + os’s birthday + ming the mechanic

and both of their first names starts with k.

one of them is named kerrie and today is her 85th birthday.

ive had the great opportunity to meet kerrie and in my opinion she is far too sweet and normal to be any best friend of karisas. i dont know what i was expecting, but i liked who i met and when karisa asked if she could say a few things about her pal on the busblog i happily agreed.

happy birthday kerrie!

tp

————-

because mutiny on the bounty’s what we’re all about�

today is kerrie-kerrie carnes birthday. kerrie has been my favorite person in the world to get through life with- and because of that, i have had the best, most-lived life ever.

together we have been alcoholics, rock stars, b-list celebs, poor, starving, criminals, lifesavers, near-death and

dominators of the impossible.

but by herself, she is my hero and i have so much of whom i am to thank her for.

she is my strong friend, who i truly hope realizes how strong she is, how much effect she has on others and how simply wonderful she is.

not to mention one of the raddest, most kick-ass, funnest chics from coast-to-coast.

and even though we are 3000 miles apart now- los angeles to massachusetts, she will always be my closest friend.

always rhymin’ and stealin’ in a drunken state

and we�ll be rockin’ our rhymes all the way to hell’s gate…

happy birthday, kerrie-kerrie carnes!

love,

karisa

michele was my first california girlfriend. we were together for three years. best friends. i did a lot of things with her for the first time.

she called me a year and a half ago and asked me to remove her last name from the stories that ive written about her because she is a famous childrens book author and a mommy now, so i said ok.

without michele i would have not been interested in poetry or journalism or the cure or u2. she taught me to appreciate all of those things.

her family was and is wonderful, and incredibly loving and free. the parents let the kids do anything they want including letting fools like me spend the night on many occasions. i love them all very much and sometimes when im in malibu i will stop by and say hi – even if i have a different girlfriend to introduce to them.

michele lives in washington now, or oregon, or somewhere beautiful and natural. for a punk rocker she had many hippie qualities about her. she would weep at the sight of a whale or a dolphin, she would weep at the news story that would talk about global warming, she would weep at the newspaper articles about womens rights issues.

all of this was very eye-opening to me, who was from the suburbs of illinois and never thought twice about enviornmental affairs, or gender roles, or sylvia plath.

and fuck if i ever considered free verse valid.

michele allowed me to take lots of pictures of her, and for that i am indebted. in many ways i owe her big time. in many many many ways.

she was my buddy and my first real friend here in the golden state and if it wasnt for that begining guitar class in santa monica college my whole life, as dramatic as that sounds, would have been completely different, and its hard for me to think it would have been different in a better way.

i was eighteen when i met michele and im 109 now, and yet somehow today is only her 23rd birthday.

apparently she still has many more lessons to teach me.

jason + je_apostrophe + jason

happy birthday sweet naturegirl from malibu.

people ask me all the time how all my old girlfriends seem so young and never age. and i dont know how to answer that, cuz its a mystery to me too.

perhaps it’s because the Good Lord is sad for me that i cant find a regular girlfriend so he sends down angels to hang out with me so i dont walk around all lonely and depressed all the time.

michele called me a few months back and we talked for a little while. it was the first time we had talked in a long long time, and it was nice, and she told me that she had kids and was teaching and living in the woods with her husband and she was writing childrens books.

i wanted to tell her that childrens books have completely influenced my photo essays, but she would never believe it.

it took a lot for her to believe that she had inspired me to not only write poetry but to get into journalism, two things that she kicked ass at way before i even considered trying myself.

the other day i was driving through malibu with a dear friend and i asked if we could wander off the pch and see the house where michele grew up at, and she obliged and i found the house no problem even though much of zuma has developed.

i will never forget the three years that i was with that girl, it was an adventure of the mind, spirit, and soul. trust me. we listened to records. we hung out with her brothers and her mom and their dogs, we just hung out.

i dont know how to explain it to you, other than to say that when i think about being 20 years old, i think of being with this wildly idealistic punk rock hippie blue eyed irish native southern californian who was equal parts everything.

absolute gemini.

one of several angels that the lord graciously pitied me with.