today is lauren’s sweet sixteen birthday

lauren pony

and i think that’s sweet.

oh sure, that’s the same lauren who had me murdered late last year, after i did a pretty indepth interview on her.

but it worked out, i got to meet kurt cobain, i got to go to pre-Heaven, and then i got to go to Hell, and none of it could have happened without lauren.

so happy birthday, Teen Pony.

im glad you can finally use that shiny car your old man got ya.

im glad the streets of oklahoma are now unsafe for any use whatsoever, and probably the sidewalks too.

just remember, you get more points for the elderly, so aim high.


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