I’m a little surprised at how bad this graphic is by the Hillary campaign.

hillary on pence

How about this:

1. Mike Pence believes that gays and lesbians can be turned “straight” via therapy and HIV/AIDS funding should be diverted to pay for it.

2. He abandoned plans to start a state-run news agency once his local newspaper found out about it.

3. Is so in the pocket of Big Tobacco he once wrote “Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill.”

4. He believes George Washington was a Republican… even though Washington was against political parties.

5. Lost a bid for Congress when it was discovered he used political donations to pay the mortgage on his house, golf tournament fees and car payments for his wife.

But whatever. Trump + Pence is a Hindenburg. It’s probs best to just stay far a way.

puke and rally

puke and rallymegyn kelly was on tv last night

talking to mr donald j trump,

(the billionaire)

and he was fantastic.

he has learned how to show a tad of humility

admit theres a scintilla

of a possibility

that he could have done things differently

at one little moment in the past.

(or at least he’s better at pretending.)

but the lesson that ive learned from him is the practice of puke and rally.

no matter what happens

no matter what he does or says

if he stumbles, he, like taylor swift

shakes it off.

he pukes and then rallies.

he told megyn that if he did it any other way he probably wouldnt be as successful as he has become.

as she said, he’s one step away from being president.

she said it in a weird, fangirl groupie way, and it isn’t true, trump doesnt stand a chance, but i guess in some weird omg annnnything can happen way it’s true.

like how im only 6 numbers away from being a multi millionaire.

and just like how every time i lose at the lottery, i just rip up the ticket and go on with my day,

when trump realizes that he was wrong to say All Mexicans are here to rob and rape and steal

or how he encouraged people at his rally to be violent to others

he doesn’t obsess over it, like a human would.

he gets it out of his system

and moves on.

i think theres a life lesson in there for all of us.

additionally, no one has to hold trumps hair when he pukes.

so hes got that going for him.

the republicans tried to let a retard be president and we got 9/11

trumpand theres part of me that thinks trump is a lucky retard in the same way some people get lucky when they play video games

sometimes if you just smash all the buttons when youre playing a shoot em up game, sometimes you win that level.

im sure trump knows a thing or two about how to get off the hook from being bankrupt

but maybe all he knows is who the right bankers are to ask for forgiveness.

plus didnt he make his money off new york real estate? and didnt he get in when ny real estate was really low and didnt he pretty much just ride the wave as it got really high?

is that smart or is that luck? right place right time?

sometimes i wonder about his confidence. is it confidence or is it the power of positive thinking? the hispanics dont love him and FOR SURE the best taco bowls are not made in Trump Tower Grill.

we know the first isnt true because Trump pinatas are selling at an all-time high.

but now the next time im at Trump Tower Grill imma have to try a taco bowl because im a damn scientist and i want to see really how good they are.

even though they are basically a taco with a wall around them.

they dont look healthy. they look hella fattening and like the lady on instagram writes all the time “you didnt eat that.”

i mean look at that mess. he barely has touched it.

because i like a nice revenge story, i am thrilled that Trump is the GOP nominee and not even the so-called GOP “leaders” want to support him. he’s hurt their widdle feelings. he beat all of their best men and women. but seriously who couldnt beat lying ted, little marco, crazy ben carson, low energy Jeb, and the rest of the morons in that clown car of dont tax the rich and dont let women have control over their own bodies?

so i am happy that Hillary will be able to do the actual worst thing the GOP could imagine: regaining the White House and filling DC with women, minorities, transgenders, leftists, socialists and true liberals.

sure shes probably gonna get us into a war or two that we shouldnt be in because she will think that she has to prove that the first female president isnt a pushover, but

maybe, just maybe, she wont take the bait. maybe she will say, human life is more important than politics.

and maybe she will be more concerned with stacking the supreme court with the most pinko libs archie bunker could have ever imagined.

and thus her revenge will last for decades.

taco bowls in every driveway, amigos.

is there something wrong with me that im secretly happy

every time Donald Trump wins a state?

i think he’s winning because people dont like it when other people are full of crap.

except for our moms, everyones has a little crap in em

but how insulting when someone thinks that they can just bs us

believing that we’re just too dense to figure out their lies.

when trump is wrong about things it isnt because he’s trying to pull the wool over our eyes

it’s because he’s just not interested in the truth.

do i want him as president?

undecided.

do i think he might lead us to world war 3?

i dont think the generals would let him do that.

some people are all talk. bluster. bark, not bite.

i dont think he would get angry and drop a bomb.

i also dont think he would build a wall.

but if he did, it’d be worth looking at.