how you doing, tony?

how you doing, tony?

ive been better.

how are the wrists?

fucked up.

i see youre still writing.

i see youre still eating.

all that happens to you and youre still a funny boy, huh?

i know you didnt call me boy.

thats right, you moolans get a little irritated with that word. sometimes i forget that you’re more than just a punk. you’re a black punk.

is there something i can help you with, soprano?

merely wanted to pay my respects and see if i could offer my assistance to the invalid.

you break my wrists, destroy my apartment, and steal my Tsar cds and now you come to the scene of the crime to “offer assistance?” i dont want your freaky assistance. i dont want to ever see you again. i paid you your money. and your interest. i gave you moxie’s cell phone number. i put up those pictures of ashley. with all due respect, i believe that ive lived up to my side of the deal.

as a matter of fact you did, tony pierce. you did.

so why are you here?

like i said, im here to offer assistance.

why do you keep saying that?

let me put it another way. i like your style. you took your punishment like a man, you paid your penance, you showed courage, and youre playing through the pain.


so we could use someone like you. and we think you’d appreciate the freedom and the benefits of the position.

we? oh, we. uh, no. no, thank you.

little stevie is going on tour with bruce for an extended period and there will be an opening at the bada bing.

mr. soprano, the offer is generous and i am flattered, but i am very happy with my present employer.

thats not what my people tell me.

your people are mistaken.

yes, it appears that they are.

good evening, mr. soprano.

yeah, see you around, super agent.

best website by a legal teenage girl: chelle

call me crazy,

but the more i read about the convicted congressman the more i like him. not only does he poo-poo the charges of bribery and corruption like it aint no thing, but he loves to curse and point fingers, and look at how shamelessly he sports that sweet rug!

eric olsen said that when he met me he saw that i have an old soul. i have always believed that too. and even though im not so sure that i will make it to be a senior citizen (due in part to my body and mind falling apart, which is why i am burning out as opposed to fading away) i always said that if i went bald i would shave off the rest of my hair and don a partying toupee or afro-wig.

and i cant wait to wear leisure suits and jumpsuits with white shoes and weild my cane at whippersnappers and short skirts.

i would also like to wear a pinky ring as i retire.

on a different subject, last night i had the pleasure of chatting a little with meesh, a former Miss Oxnard, if i am to read her bio correctly.

in our conversation she mentioned how nice it is to have a teensy little crush on someone at work. i asked her what her dream man would wear on their first date and she started with slacks, boots, and made her way up to a turtleneck. i added, “500E ?” and she squealed. guess im out of luck there.

here at the xbi where i pretty much keep to myself, i have met a few friends and developed a handful of mini-crushes. one of the friends i say hi to in the halls works in the IT department and i was washing my hands in the mens room this afternoon and i said, “old chap, would you mind telling me about the availability of the knockout tomboyish redhead in your department.”

“good lord, man. i have read of your acheivements of the past, but that is a nut that no squirrel will crack, you see, she doesnt date gentlemen.”

i said, “no.”

he said, “yes.”

i wispered, “scandelous.”

he said, “it’s a loss to us all.”

i said, “please send her my regards upon your next encounter.”

he said, “i will tip my hat to her in your name.”

and despite what Professor Volokh says about switchhitters only being 3-5% of the population it sure seems like those numbers are growing in the ultra fem ranks that cross my path.

pardon me while i look for someone to blame.

meanwhile, let’s all welcome sara k back to the world of daily correspondence as she educates us on the beauties of austin texas.

I got a 007 watch and it’s a one and only

“Kudos for acknowledging “The Wild …,” “Greetings …” and “Nebraska” as the gems of the Springsteen canon.

However, it takes a real fan – or, man – to admit that “Darkness …” and “The River” are wildly disorganized and truly horrible, three albums that, at most, yield four good songs.”

– Brian M.

I don’t know what they’re drinking down there where Brian is calling home, but i hope it tastes good.

The River was Bruce’s double album of 20 songs released in 1980 at the peak of his creative output. It yielded him his first number one hit, “Hungry Heart,” mass critical acclaim from the title track and tunes like “Point Blank” and “Drive All Night” as well as light-hearted fun numbers like “I’m a Rocker” and “Cadillac Ranch” which are still staples in Bruce’s live show whenever he wants to keep his audience on their feet.

Four good songs total between the six sides of The River and Darkness? Hardly, here are nine awesome songs on The River alone, in order of appearance: Hungry Heart, Out in the Street, The River, Point Blank, Cadillac Ranch, I’m A Rocker, Stolen Car, Drive All Night, Wreck on the Highway.

Meanwhile Darkness only has two clunkers “Something in the Night” and “Factory”. Please try to convince me that the title track, “Badlands,” “Adam Raised a Cain,” “Candy’s Room,” “Racing in the Streets” and “The Promised Land” aren’t six classic tunes. Genuine American rock anthems of struggle, turmoil and compromise in an attempt to do the right thing… that also happen to rock.

Darkness is the electric guitar record that Dylan never got around to writing, and if it doesn’t float your boat, theres something wrong with your boat.

yeah, baybee

there arent many things better than barely legal twin japanese girls in schoolgirl outfits

but being linked in people’s blogs come mighty close.

here’s a couple of sites who have linked me in the last few weeks that i have yet to thank:

the unknown news


rick bruner



what she really thinks

the underpassing

and, of course, biscuit

if you or someone you know has linked me this month

and would like to be acknowledged, please feel free to leave a comment.

also, thanks to all the nice people who bought me beers yesterday. they were good!!!!

today is the official bruce springsteen hype day

Bruce Springsteen and for that i reluctantly jump on the bandwagon because i love bruce, even now as he is losing his magic.

bruce hasn’t released a complete album since 1984s “born in the usa,” but it’s cool. even that record was produced so poppy and sappy that i cant even really listen to much of it, and i don’t know the last time i played it all the way through. fortunaely super strong songs like “im on fire” “bobby jean” and “no surrender” still hold up big time for me and remain classics. and i would love it if he would rerecord “dancing in the dark” darkly.

and even though its so cliche to say, what i really love is his older stuff like “darkness on the edge of town” and “nebraska”.

“born to run” is almost like staring into the sun, tunes like “jungleland” and “meeting across the river” are a little too much nowadays, but “shes the one” and “backstreets” still give me a chill.

and “thunder road” remains one of the few songs that ive happily committed to memory after long drives on the freeway in the dark singing to myself.

“a screen door slams, mary’s dress waves… and like a vision she dances across the porch as a radio plays… roy orbison singing for the lonely.. hey that’s me and i want you only…”

“the river” is the first record that got me into the boss. i was a kid listening to the rock and roll station when he released that one to much hype and i heard “point blank” on the fm and it nearly blew my mind. this was when songs like “another one bites the dust” was being played when billy squire’s “stroke me” wasn’t on. so when hilburn goes on and on about the gritty stark production of the river, he forgets that bare bones was in. springsteen had the hard core lyrics and earnest delivery. huge difference.

“greetings” and “the wild, the innocent, and the e street shuffle” are gems that i keep in a special place. totally fun, happy records that i never tire of.

post-born in the usa the only record that i really liked was “live 75-85” which did a decent job of capturing the live shows, which, of course, are impossible to bottle. a friend of mine once said that seeing springsteen was like going to a really great baseball game. its big, loud, everyone’s happy, and you don’t need a scorecard to recognize all the players.

later she would say that seeing U2 was like going to a great church.

lately springsteen’s shows have been a little too much like church: somber, forced, ritualized, predictable, fewer and fewer spontaneous miracles, little cleansing after the service, attendance because we “should” not because we’re dying to.

but the boss is back with his old band. he’s back with his wife, his pals, his fans, and all the hype that he deserves. he’s an american icon, like it or not. he’s been the poet laureate of rock who keeps getting his ass kicked by the poet laureate of folk.

in a perfect world, bruce would ask me to produce his new record and i would say, first thing i want you to do is throw out any song that john cougar or tom petty could do better than you. next thing i want you to do is write this next record like its your last record, and not in a sentimental way, but in a way that will resonate for generations to come. live up to the hype, bro. bring back the passion of “mean streets” the fun of “rosalita” and the passion of “im on fire”. i’ll let you do one folk tune, but it’s got to be as good as “johnny 99” or “atlantic city” but lots of people have to die in the song and it has to be set in the old west.

i want to hear clarence blow the horn, not doodle. i want him to compete against the guitars, not provide ambience. i want to hear nils do a guitar solo that makes me think, ok, that’s why you have four guitars on stage. i want to feel the might of the mighty max weinberg. i want to hear a song that i will be forced to memorize again.

these are the demands, i am sure, that weigh heavy on the shoulders of the patron saint of asbury park, but i wouldn’t ask these things if i didn’t think he was capable of achieving them.

wanna see the bruce springsteen that i think of when i had his poster over my bed for 10 years? go rent “no nukes” and watch how he played guitar on his back atop the grand piano. i know he’s older now. but he’s not aged. neil young sure as hell proves that you can rock with gray in your hair.

rarely do i buy cds any more from the store, but today i will buy the rising, and im sure i will be disappointed and im sure that i will not want to hear the stories of the tragedy of 9/11 that bruce allegedly based a lot of this new material around.

but it’s cool. the boss doesn’t need my $15 but he deserves it. and any time he puts out new music i’ll be right there searching for even a nugget of those magically rocking past glory days.

celebrating: the engagement of coulter and heather.