guest blogger: anna kournikova

tony says he’s back, but he’s not, his wrists are still a little sore. he did a ken griffey and returned too early but its all good in the hood because im your favorite commie tennis star anna k, saving the day, sippin on grape shasta, and my voice sounds sweet cause it hasta.

tony hardly ever lets me speak for myself, which i was used to behind the iron curtain but i thought that things would be different in america, but i guess i was wrong. all the men here try to make me watch my mouth which is why ive dated so few americans.

currently, its true, im dating enrique eglasias. not because i want to, really, i mean, he’s cute and all, but mostly because i want to be tony’s girlfriend but he’s obviously got so many planes in his landing pattern that theres hardly any room for those of us who are circling the airspace and im running low on fuel and enrique, how shall we say, fills me up. sorta.

but tony is my true love. hes the only one i really love. i wear the outfits that i do for him. i pout because he likes it. i wear my hair long because he loves long hair. i tell him i love him but he has such low self esteem it hardly ever gets through to him, so when i do have some time off and i find myself in Hell-A i wear a tshirt that my mom made for me.

its a little belly shirt with a red heart on the front that says, “my name is anna” and on the back theres another red heart that says “and i love tony”.

i made that cuz he likes to twirl me around to let it all soak in.

when i stay with tony at his apartment it’s great because he never wants to go out. i love just lazing around his house flipping through the tv channels ordering thai and chinese and pizza and all the things that i cant really get my hands on in dusseldorf and sydney and mexico city. we kiss. A LOT. hes a great kisser. i read in “Jane” the other month that one way to find out if a guy is a great kisser is to watch him eat. if he’s a messy eater then he’s good in bed. ooops i have them all confused. ok, i don’t know how to tell if a guy’s a good kisser other than to kiss him.

tony’s a really slow eater. guess what that means. 😉

but the best thing i like about going to tony’s house is watching movies with him. he’s got such great taste in movies i cant even believe it. sometimes we’ll just wake up, make love, i’ll cook some breakfast, he’ll check his email and then we’ll just watch one movie after another. he’s bound to fall asleep but i don’t mind telling him what he missed. he’s almost like a heroin addict the way he passes out all the time, but i have my little special way of rousing him from his zzzz’s.

i also like to change clothes while he naps and fix my hair different and not tell him. his memory’s so bad that sometimes he doesn’t even notice.

god i love to mess with that kid’s head.

ok, well, gotta go. im doing pretty good in my tennis. not that you care.

yesterday i beat Wynne Prakusya in the second round of the Bank of the West Classic 7-5, 6-4 in Stanford, California. it’s so beautiful here.

this is the second match in a row that ive won which is pretty good for me cuz i admit, ive pretty much sucked lately.

today is gonna be pretty busy for me, which is why im procrastinating this morning. tonight at 7:30pm i have to go against Venus Williams (ugh) in the singles quarter finals. and then right after i have to go play doubles.

who the hell schedules this shit?

anyhow, love ya. thanks for always thinking of me.

tony, hope you feel better soon.

happy anniversary: kitty bukkake

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