hi, this is satan asking for your soul. ninth caller gets a free trip to hell, expenses paid, food and beverage. just kidding this is your pal tone bringing you todays cubs game for all the men and women and all ships at sea.

its windy today at wrigley field and its sunny and kerry wood is on the mound and barry larkin is what a hundred years old. but he looks great. fit trim but grounds it to short and nearly beats it out. maybe hes just ninety.

youve gotta love that griffey is not only back but hitting well. the cubs have their shortstop behind second, todd walker is in the hole and air uh miss is at short basically. he could but but he doesnt. wood strikes him out on a spinny slider.

two outs for the reds.

casey at bat. sean casey has the black under his eye and cant hold up on strike one. he twitches and touches his helmet and has a routine that includes lifting his back leg up like a horse and planting it down. looks at strike two which rhymes with blue. selson blue shampoo and conditioner is on sale at walgreens. selson blue.

wood gets casey to oh and two. and then hits casey on the toe. hes awarded first base.

adam dunn digs in with his four homers already this season. he can hit.

so we’re at two outs with casey at first and dunn down two balls and a strike. wood is whipping out the change ups and theyre deadly. two and two to dunn who watches the count fill.

the crowd claps.

inside curve way inside. wood walks dunn which isnt so bad cuz here comes freel.

kerry wood struggling a little bit here cub fans. two outs into the fourth and kerry has already thrown 59 pitches to 14 batters. but he wears number 34 and thats sweetness.

selson blue is at walgreens. dont forget that. on sale.

kerry wood takes freel 1-2 the crowd is warming up. looking for the kills. strike three called over the outside corner. no score at wrigley going to the bottom of the fourth.

who is being accused of lying to a grand jury investigating of a 2001 shootout outside a manhattan radio station. when messy stains got you down, dont pout, shout it out.

shes the queen bee you know.

kerry wood holds his shit brown glove in front his face and looks in at michael barrett. his name is pronounced willie. but its spelled wily. wily mo pena stands in there against kerry wood who once struck out 20 houston astros. in four games wily mo has two hits in six at bats and one of those hits was a two run homer. he’s big. no, wily.

oh and two and wily sends a pop foul to right, it drifts out of play but not before derrek lee bangs against the brick right field wall. wily fouls another one back. in seven at bats against wood, wily has wiffed five times. now it’s six. second strike out for kerry today.

pitcher cory lidle up nobody on shit drives it deep and long to the far right field corner for a double.

d’angelo jimeniz pronounced him in ez takes wood two and two. i had the combo number 17 today at jack in the box. the ultimate croissant, egg, bacon cheese mayo.

jimenez line shot up the middle gonzales snatches it in the air flips it to bro at second double play. and just like that the cubs are up.

thats your shout shoutout-standout.

kerry wood leads off the cubs half of the third. one of the best hitting pitchers in the game perhaps due to his big ass. first pitch pops up to wily mo pena. and i still say that sounds like a name for a little kid.

cubs second bagger todd walker formerly of the rockies is batting 370 in the first two weeks of the season fists one foul almost hits the line and the count is one and two. lidle really isnt that good of a pitcher. this shouldnt be that hard for the cubs and their home grown wood. walker gets foold and grounds it back to lidle who throws it over to first two outs.

thats one three if youre scoring at home and if you are think of her needs too.

corey patterson quickly down with a ground out to first and thats it for the cubs in the third.

lil kim we love you baby.

drives it to the wall in left center. yesterday that would have hit a building across the street. today its a flyout.

adam dunn pulls it hard down the first base line. derrick lee knocks it down but never gets it. infield hit.

ryan freel with one out. michael barrett cant handle a pitch off the lip of the plate it gets past him and goes to the backstop. runner advances.

it is windy but its blowing in. curve strike brings the count to 2-2.

its sunny.

uh ram iz gets the grounder looks at dunn go back to second and throws freel out at first. two outs.

jason la rue is batting 150 so far and quickly has two strikes on him. pitcher on deck. 86 mph slider inside he whiffs. game still tied going to the cubs half of the second.

derrek lee pops it up to griffey in center. how nice is it to see griffey in center. cory lidle is on the mound for the reds.

michael barrett is in the hole oh and two. i got laid last night and this morning. after we went to jack in the box and i realize that i eat a lot of fast food when someone has a car around. barrett fouls one off and then looks at ball one. hot chick. theyre all hot. this one particularilly. we listened to vu live sixty nine grounder to larkin.

alex gonzales first swing shot to freel at third. quick inning for the cubs. no score.

as blogged by tony pierce

kerry wood has a fat ass, but it helps him, and it looks flabby in his baggy home whites. the cubs best pitcher is on the mound for the cubs today and he just owned junior. one called strike high one whiff at a change at the toes and a weak long drive to center.

three up and three down for the goateed flamethrower.

the cubs of 2004 have four of the best cubs to put on the pinstripes in twenty years.

maddux, wood, prior, and sosa.

with patterson on first from a fielders choice sammy sends one deep to right wind blowing in and it bounces off the bricks for a double.

alou sends the count to 2-2 then 3-2 then walks draws a walk.

yesterday the cubs came back from five runs back to beat these reds 11-10.

bases loaded two balls on aramis ramirez

uh-rahmiss is how he pronounces it.

dont swing, lidles wild and the winds blowing in

swings and chops the ball down to third, freel tags third and throws it across the infield to first.

double play.

no score.

end of the first.