i dont know too much about the jewish religion

i know that yesterday and the day before was rosh hashanah, maybe today is too, but i was too busy at work to ask what that holiday is all about.

but i do know that whenever theres a jewish holiday here in holiday you are instantly aware how many jewish neighbors we have, because the streets and the busses and the subways are empty.

empty i tell you, and it’s nice.

for example, usually madonna (pictured) is at the hollywood and vine subway station doing yoga poses against the coke machine while waiting for the train, but during this holiday apparently she is in temple.

i think these holidays are nice. i think all spiritual holidays are nice as long as they remain peaceful. and i think all of us commuters in LA are happy whenever the roads are clear, for any reason.

so in honor of my friends of the jewish faith, especially my buddy jeff solomon and dan kern in tsar, i give you adam sandler’s “Chanukah Song Pt 2”,

for no other reason than he doesnt have a Rosh Hashanah song.


Put on your Yamaka

Its time for Chanukah

So much funnaka

To celebrate Chanukah

Chanukah is the festival of lights

Instead of one day of presents

We get eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town

Without a Christmas tree

Here’s a new list of people who are Jewish

Just like you and me

Winona Ryder,

Drinks Manischewitz wine

Then spins a Dreidle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein

Guess who gives and receives

Loads of Chanukah toys

The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys

Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,

Courtney Love is half too

Put them together

What a funky bad ass Jew

We got Harvey Keitel

And flash dancer Jennifer Beals

Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish

And yes her boobs are real

Put on that yarmulka

Its time for Chanukah

2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka

celebrates Chanukah

O.J. Simpson

Still not a Jew

But guess who is,

The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo

Bob Dylan was born a Jew

Then he wasn’t

but now he’s back,

Mary Tyler Moore’s husband is Jewish

‘Cause we’re pretty good in the sack.

Guess who got bar-mitzvahed

On the PGA tour

No I’m not talking about Tiger Woods

I’m talkin’ about Mr. Happy Gilmore.

So many Jews are in the show biz

Bruce Springsteen isn’t Jewish

But my mother thinks he is.

Tell the world-amanaka

It’s time to celebrate Chanukah

It’s not pronounced Ch-nakah

The C is silent in Chanukah

So read your hooked on phonica

Get drunk in Tijuanaka

If you really really wannaka

Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!

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