you like it here cuz the weathers perfect. you feel safe here cuz of all the witnesses. you eat here cuz its delicious an who doesnt love hot nuts?

i had a street hot dog before my drinks with the publisher. then i had a slice at Joe’s after i was pleasantly buzzed and had deposited my check. i get paid once a month. a fat check. a check that seems like it should be fatter but its actually just right im just getting greedy. and foolish.

i should never stay in a hotel over $100. i should never spend more than $50 on rounds of drinks. i should quit giving the homeless everything i have, but i feel better for some reason giving people my money than giving it to myself. lord only knows why.

because i dont know any better im typing you from a starbucks near bleeker street. after the pizza i walked around like a tourist and took pictures of everything in the dark. i found the starbucks because i knew i could plug in and later take a dump. so they got me to pay for a bottled water and a $2 slice of brownie with espresso chips. i hate all things coffee flavored but this wasnt bad.

at first i was reading my email and doing LAist stuff and listening to this 18 yr old girl with a HEAVY ny accent talk to her handsome bf. he was bored out of his mind but she was so damn cute that both of us tolerated it. then her mom called and she stepped out side and talked to her while sitting next to him on the other side of the glass revealing her lowerback tattoo.

now two married couples are talking about married couple things. am i crazy to Never want to talk about married couple things? once upon a time i was all about that. now im so not about that. i want to talk about love slaves and box seats and low end restuarants and sexual positions. maybe i will be persuaded to talk about the pysics of a curveball or novels but potty training and child pyschyiatrists in frisco and blackberrys? no thanks tom hanks.

it just turned midnight and im pooped from drinking and walking and carrying my laptop around my back. if i lived here id be in the best shape cuz you walk everywhere and id be carrying this laptop everywhere. my man in chicago says that he might hook me up with a smaller laptop one day and i totally could use that. but this workout is fine. in fact its better than fine.

say what you want about soho but it was pretty sweet-o. these two superhot japanese girls apologized to me and jake for interrupting us and asked us where a good italian restaurant was. thats pretty close to asking magic johnson where the nearby sports arena is. after he gave them two options including the names of the chefs who make them good, i said, dude if you werent married i would have said, “italian? just your luck ladies WE were about to go have some pasta ourselves. please, be our guests.” the babes were that hot.

basically everyone here is that hot. i could be hallucinating but i havent seen an ugly girl in two days. pretty amazing. tomorrow night the bears play. i want to cover them for LAist since we dont have a football team. the kids would freak out and protest like mad but sometimes you have to rattle the cage.

i have no idea how to get back to brooklyn. i have no idea where i am. i have no idea what im doing tomorrow other than going to AOL/Time Warner and hanging out with the Fat Man, but i do know that i’ll be drinking.

my birthday is in three weeks.