and prettier and nicer and id drive a blacker car.

if life was fair when girls say i read your blog every day, usually twice a day, theyd follow it up with and now im gonna kiss you. if life was fair id have interns writing this shit.

on my radio in my car, a car i wish i was in right now, driving me out of town, they have the e! channel. yes on the radio. and the other day when i was in connecticiut they were telling the true hollywood story of frank sinatra. and frank they said cried a lot. all the time. and when he was done crying hed write a sad song.

everyone loves the chairman of the board but if thats what it takes to write well then i will be stay satisfied with writing poorly. im not going to sigh over eva gardener, and i sure as hell aint gonna cry over anna kournikova or clipper girl or even cipper girls cousin for that matter.

or at least i wont show it on the blog.

what i will do is stay in amazement that one fellow who is supposedly liked by all these women has the hardest time with pretty much all of them.

but they say nice things when i arrive and they say nice things when i get the fuck out. both are not what im looking for, which is for them to say dirty thing during.

sometimes you just wanna go home. sometimes you just want your big old bed andn your big old tv and your big old fridge filled with cold air and promises.

sometimes you just want to build a basement and hide out.

no one believes tahat im shy no one believes i have feelings no one believes that rules, just like records, are meant to be broken.

im exhausted. i walked a lot today. i was rejected again today. i was heartbroken again today,

now i just want to sleep and not wake up until april. ’09