day 31, waco texas

after driving through east texas which isnt as boring as people would have you believe, i made it into Austin just in time for beer hour at the Hillldale residence.

the lovely couple greeted me with a few rounds of buckshot from their swinging chair on the porch of their new home as the dog yapped and i yelled CLINTON WAS FRAMED, CLINTON WAS FRAMED! until they stopped. there were all “tony?” and i said yes and they fired some more.

when they ran out of ammo i held up cartons of cigarretes and bags of porn. they shot the smokes right out of my hand but spared the smut and when the dust settled they were all oooooh THAT tony! and i was allowed inside the compound.

we went to their neighbor’s home for a downhomed catered bbq and drank some of their beer as we talked to yuppies and got bitten by texas sized mosquitoes. i miss dan and sarah and if they were my neighbors id be over at their house all the time. unfortunately they live way the hell down here where even in rocktober the temperature flirts with 90 which is why the ceiling fans were on at 9:30p when we made it to the new Pizza Place near the campus.

we ate we drank some more and we blabbed and gossipped. we probably talked hella shit about you and you and you but then we agreed that we loved all our friends and were lucky to know them.

then we went back home and killed the case of lite beer and watched a little jon stewart and colbert and dan thought he had recorded Lost but alas he didnt. technology!

they have a new dog to go with their new backyard and the little fella (you can call chick dogs fellas) is so happy that she does a gazelle leap every third step as she runs. im sure as a puppy she pissed on those leaps out of happiness but clearly her former owner beat that shit out of her.

adorable though, as is the kitty who hides and quietly judges, i had a great stay with the hilldales and enjoyed barely missing their frogs that hop in the front lawn.

this afternoon i dined with Ms Leah, who many of you know ive been reading since she was 15. as in new york i didnt see an ugly woman in all of austin. i think it has something to do with the water. but like sarah, leah looks better than ever and if i only had a bottle of ruffies and a modeling studio me and dan could make a fortune here.

both of the ladies humoured me with little video interviews and i stopped by the 710 Room to see my bro Asher but he hadnt yet opened up his bar, but Asher if you read this, Leah needs a job and even though she doesnt know what a margarita is, im sure she could learn real quick-like. and i promise to stop by again in March when i return for SXSW.

right now im in Waco. i went by a salvage yard to see if theyd sell me a grill for my car and they clicked through their computer and couldnt find one but told me they could order me one for $47. i said, i know this is a dumb question, but do i really need one? i made it from New Orleans to Austin and now to here and all seems to be well and they were so funny and so rednecky and that shop was so classic and all four guys almost in unison were all “naw.”

god bless em.