they say when youre given lemons you should make lemonade

cindybut what if youre given lemons and you wanna drink rum?

theres absolutely nothing that has inspired me today.

not the boring shit not the exciting shit not the lame shit. the only reason i left the house was to go to the post office and i wanted to write about that on LAist

and i said to myself dude the day you start writing about the post office is the day people stop reading LAist.

this month, due in part, im afraid, to my jaunt around the country is the first month that we wont break a record. that has me a tad depressed but just a tad. and only because ive made that blog my. entire. life. small mistake.

i havent lifted my hood since ive returned to LA which is another mistake im sure. as i know the oil gnomes are leaving just enough earl in there to make me feel comfortable enough to drive a little further than i should.

i turned my cell phone off last night because someone was being annoying and this afternoon i realized i hadnt turned it back on and as soon as i did it started vibrating

and it wasnt the person who i thought it was but it was chris in africa asking how everything was, and i didnt want to tell her that everything wasnt peachy but she could tell

so i said how about we talk on saturday

and theres a reason i never saw shopgirl in the movies. im watching it now on tivo. and its because no matter how many times i go out on dates with girls like claire danes, they never end up naked and quiet in my bed on the second date unless theyre passed out, but there she is naked and quiet on steve martins bed on the second date.

i hate the movies.

i dont want any fucking lemonade.

busblog yahoo fantasy league

drafts on saturday

League ID#: 79513
League Name: busblog1
Password: blogger
Draft Type: Live Draft
Draft Time: Sat Oct 28 12:30pm PDT
Max Teams: 18
Scoring Type: Head-to-Head
Max Moves: No maximum
Max Trades: No maximum
Trade Reject Time: 2
Trade End Date: March 8, 2007
Waiver Time: 2 days
Can’t Cut List Provider: None
Trade Review: Commissioner
Post Draft Players: Follow Waiver Rules
Weekly Deadline: Daily – Tomorrow
Start Scoring on: Week 1
Roster Positions: PG, PG, SG, G, SF, PF, F, C, C, Util, BN, BN, BN
Stat Categories: FGA, FG%, FT%, 3PTM, PTS, OREB, REB, AST, ST, BLK, TO

if this fills up today we will have a second league.

basically the busblog league is for serious GMs who have played a few times before, dont find it necessary to engage in the childish behavior of sexually based smack talk, but instead find solace in aquiring the best group of atheletes and bringing them to the playoffs

where they will be stomped by my mighty squad.

ruthlessly and without mercy.

its a good league, theres activity every day, bad trades are vetoed, and public transparent gripes are recommended on the message boards.

since i will be winning, and all.

today howard stern is on the internet for free

you can access it by clicking here.

jackie the jokeman is part of the free trial. you can hear his Joke Hunt show today. its pretty horrible. but sometimes thats funny. heres a joke he told a few weeks ago while i was on the road listening to Sirius 8 hours a day:

“how do you get a gay guy to fuck a girl?
fill her pussy with shit.”

jackies not the reason that people are signing up to sirius.

i watched the Joan Rivers stand up on Bravo. pretty good. shes got tons of energy. i dont know how she does it. seems like she remembers her jokes pretty well still. i usually love her but some of the jokes fell flat. still shes fearless and i love that about her.

its been two days and i still havent gone to santa barbara yet. theres been two days of non stop news coming into the LAist email box. only a fool would drive to SB for no real good reason just for a little news piece that even the college paper isnt interested in.

turns out theres a bunch of kids sleeping under storke tower every night to protest a few things up there including an apartment complex that kicked everyone out, affirmative action, and a missing $3.2 million.

nothing juicy. i might just wait till friday when i hope to go to IV for halloween.

im prepared to go as Borat in that one piece bathing suit of his.

i miss traveling a great deal. a good friend could be using my place if i wasnt using this place. its very sad.

because i like to sit on the couch and eat and listen to music while i type, today i realized i could easilly just rent the garage of a rich person’s house. a garage they dont use any more and remodeled.

the only things that disturb me are the weird noises from around the grounds. weird slammings and clompings. people yelling. all i want is a little peace and quiet to get my nonsense together.

today i wrote a headline about the Kenny Rogers cheating scandal that maybe three people got, but whatever. plus two blogs that i love linked to it so maybe they were two out of the three.

smudge fisked.

i laughed and got a bucket of shrimp and put it under hot water for a few minutes and laughed some more.

then i microwaved a potato and cracked open a can of coke.

best sound ever not emitted from a woman.