all i hafta do is my laundry. thats it. i have to take it to the place, put it in, get some chicken and eat it, put the shit in the dryer. play NBA Live on PSP while listening to the new arcade fire which rules

but im trying to be late for things.

how insanely bizarre.

its 74 degrees here in LA and im inside. i know the problem. i love my house. i love my routine. i love everything about it.

today i had to talk a little business with my boss and that is a little uncomfortable but other than that my life is right on the money. and even though sxsw is like my favorite ten days of the year, id rather be in my pajamas here in hollywood listening to music and accepting packages at the door oh look at that, a four foot bong. i didnt know you could deliver that mr usps man.

“it doesnt have a bowl in there, so its not a bong” he says and hands me the pen to sign for it.

we interrupt this procrastination post with an exclusive interview with raymi the sphynx

me: do you have the arcade fire cd yet?
raymi: thenew one no
me: in canada they didnt just give them out with your quart of milk on tuesday?

raymi: we dont get free milk
me: then what good is canada? i thought it was socialist and shit wtf

raymi: um no. you are pretty ignorant of countries that aren’t the states

me: because clearly they dont matter if they dont have free milk And theyre cold
And they dont pass out the new Arcade Fire cd in the milk box

raymi: they should

me: it should have a sticker of the queen giving the thumbs up, “there you are, peons, enjoy the milk!” “and this great new cd”

raymi: what would america give out for free? guns? bullets?
me: depends on where you live. yes to those things if you live in the south, and free crack if you live in the hood, thanks cia!

raymi: mcdonalds tshirts
me: those are a buck at goodwill, so almost free

i dont mind being fat. i dont mind being old. and i dont mind being single.

but i dont think its a good idea if you like pussy to be old bald and fat when youre single.

in LA.

i got a wakeup call when i went to the store last month and everytime i sat to get into the car or got up out of the car my pants would unsnap.

maybe its cuz i just got them out of the dryer, i thought to myself.

because i have the greatest job in the world where i get to work at home in my pajamas bottoms and tassels on my tits, i hadnt noticed that no, dumbass, the pants werent unsnapping like crazy because of any dryer, they were unsnapping because i was eating too much fucking shit

so for lent i gave up eating at fast food restaurants. which are my favorite. which i love. which i own stock in. which i hope to own one day.

my true dream is to own the jack in the box, burger king, and mcdonalds all in the same small town. people would complain about the possibility of price fixing but little would they know that i would indeed price fix but in the favor of the citizens.

during breakfast and on thursday nights theyd get ridiculously low prices

cuz thats where they get you. breakfast.

anyways i have been doing great with my lent promise. and even though when i drive down the street i know where every drive thru is and i know where the ones are in the horizon i have instead cooked food for myself, read the labels of the snacks that i eat when i get the, cough, munchie, and when i make love to the ladies i make sure to do it under the blankets so we sweat a little.

last night i went to an invite only LA blogger party held in swanky west hollywood at a bar that used to be gay but is now russian. and i noticed that even when i tried to make my pants pop its buttons off they wouldnt pop.

who knew a little will power would create the desired results so quickly?

and imagine what that belly would look like if i ran around the block a few times every morning.

and by morning i mean noon since thats when i wake.

hes still pretty much my favorite player

babies making babies, fires making fires, dogs chasing their tales and beta males, do you ever feel like youre completely insane? i got a ticket once when i was helping my mom get her bags out of the car.
we were at the airport.
the lady said this is a loading and unloading zone.
i said ho im unloading.
she said youre wait what did you call me?
maybe i am completely insane.

for some reason i am under the impression that if youre in a bus and the busdriver decides that instead of taking you to the destination on the sign above teh window, hes going to pull over and rob you of all that you have. and then call you crazy when you repeatedly say wtf.

and then cop an attitude when you remind him that you are the fucking xbi whose only job is to protect the innocent people of the world.

bitter
undercover
superheroes

i dont have to apologize like xtx did the other day about watching dateline nbc. and what i learned from that show and from cops and from even the apprentice is when people are caught being bad, half the time they will deny that it is actually bad to come over to a 13 year old’s house when their parents are gone

just to talk.

busdriver you cannot pull over the bus and rob us, especially when the neighborhood watch is on the bus. no you cannot have my shit. not even for a little while.

if youre hurting, ask. if youd like my shit either pay for it or ask nicely. dont just hold out your bag and snatch.

what world are we living in? i thought this was web 2.0? i thought this was the days of transparency, community, the age of information. how is stealing my newspaper neighborly just because its sitting outside?

you are putting the commie back in community. you are turning this into the dark side of socialism where the big man can steal but the average cant steal back. can i steal whats important from you? of course not. but somehow you can just change the rules and expectations and pull the bus over and take?

we had a dog that all of a sudden started biting people, whadda think we did with that dog? that we loved. that we shared so many good times with. that was part of our family. that was our family.

we killed that motherfucker and got a new one the next day.

in the game of busdriver which can be a very difficult game some times, there comes stretches where you can either use the difficulty to help you grow in possible ways in our neverending quest to become gentlemen

or you can take the easy way out and slide down the slippery slope of prick.

i am doing my absolute best to avoid that slope but you have pulled the bus over and you are pointing a gun at not just me but my actual community as well.

and you cannot have what is mine. and you cannot have what is theres. even though you are currently using it for your benefit anyways. if you want more ask. dont steal. be a gentleman and play this game the way everyone knows you can play it.

we have a very long way to go. so get back to driving.

hot. skinny. young. it just ends up like that some times, i swear.

she said how much of the busblog is real i said none. she said not even this i said nope. she said how about when you said and i was all baby say it in french its so pretty. she said some of it is true because you have photos.

i said baby all im saying is you should be careful what you choose to believe. especially if youre reading it on the internet and especially if it says right there on the frickin page in the top not to believe it.

she said what about LAist, how much on there is true? i said sadly all of it. which makes it way harder to write. i actually have to think and stuff before i get to it.

she said then why are there so many typos and errors. i said because its a drinking game, if you see something fucked up you drink. she said no. i said yes and also when people find errors and typos on commerical products they get all excited like theyre some sherlock holmes. they feel smart they feel proud they feel better than the pro.

its nice to make tens of millions of people happy a year.

she said has a million people come to LAist this year? i said yes. she said more i said a little more, she said 5 million i said no. she said well shouldnt you have had 5 million by now and i said you know there are 57 million blogs, and the big ones are really big and most of their links lead to the new york times or the washington post or tmz. trust me, my bosses are very happy with how many people have been to LAist in just the last two months.

she said what are you wearing. i said what are you wearing. she said im wearing a beret black pants and a striped shirt. i said wheres your scarf she said im ironing my scarf. i said wheres your little chat. she said playing with the cord of the iron.

and then i heard the ding of new mail and i had just recieved foreign porn.

of which i said merci beaucoup to which she said de nada.

ken layne is in the la times today writing about parking.

ok that part is true.

and it ate all of my old headers, it actually freed me up to do some new things.

like change every page of the busblog dating back to 2001.

and one thing that i would like to try is having an updated blogroll that would work on every page of the archives.

and i would like to see if i can get 2008 bloggers to put me on their blogroll by 2008.

yes this is inspired inpart by 2000 bloggers, but since i only looked at their site once, while baked, im not sure if im doing it right, in fact im sure im not, but i like this way better.

so heres how it will work

put either

tony
tony pierce
or
busblog

in your blogroll or in your template.

then link to this page http://www.tonypierce.com/blog/bloggy.htm

its gotta be in the permanent part of your blog, not in a post.

then come back here to the busblog and leave a comment along these lines

glenn reynolds
instapundit.com

i will check to see if youve done it correctly, and if you have i will assign you a number, i will link back to you in the left side of my blog and i will hit something i hadnt hit in 6 years of blogging “Republish Entire Blog” which will put your link on the entire busblog.

if you already have a link to me, your job is mostly done, just leave a comment and i will then do my part.

lets rock

Q. what place will i come in in busblog baseball? – Mike

A. the only place that matters is first, and since i will hold that place for most of the season including the end, you really should just consider this season one in which you should be taking copious notes and creating graphs and outlines.

Q. Should I be embarrassed for liking that Fall Out Boy song about something something arms race? – xtx

A. yes you should be embarrassed. just like i am. theyve done it again with another super catchy tune. this one moreso than the one before whose chorus was equally unimportant and forgetable and yet great. im glad the one guys queer and the others fat.

Q. Thats pretty fucking rad but you would have to tap the bubbles down for longer than it would take to get up and get a beer manually. It would be best for cripples and midgets. – Me

A. I say just launch yourself one when you’re about halfway done with your current beer. Then when youre ready for your next beer it’ll be sitting right there.

Q. I’m gonna be in san francisco on the weekend for the first time in my whole life (first time on the west coat in my whole life actually). I’m there for an interview but I’ve got a bunch of spare time. Question: what are the absolute, have-to-do-it type things and spots for me to hit up while I’m there? – Phil Renaud

A. youre in luck since this weekend is Pretend Your’re (Not) Gay Weekend. If you are gay you’re supposed to pretend youre gay and if youre not gay youre supposed to act like you are. so if i was you id wear a really nice shirt while pretending to be a closeted gay to the Thai House on Market, then do acid in golden gate park and have a burrito on Haight while kissing a girl with flowers in her hair.

Q. when is the next blook? tomdog

A. when the Cubs get in the playoffs

Q. How many innings will Mark Prior pitch this year?- Bob

A. 175. 176 Ks.

Q. Whats the point of watching Lost anymore when they have jumped soooo far over the shark? (Besides watching Evangeline.)- bicyclemark

A. Lost is the best show on TV mostly because it doesnt conform to peoples standard beliefs of what narratives are supposed to look like. i hope it wanders for years. whats the rush? i love that they keep adding new characters even though theres so many who we love who we havent heard from in forever.

i think it sucks that the sopranos feels like they have to stop a good thing and that people give Lost shit for enjoying the journey and not worrying so much about loose ends and unanswered questions.

i got no where to go and i hope Lost doesnt either. i hope they keep being weird and freaky and its too bad that it means they will lose audience but maybe they can work something out with Showtime and keep it culty over there.

Q. will the Cubs be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs before my birthday?-
zona

A. the cubs did more to improve their team this winter than probably any pro team ever did in the offseason ever. they even paid millions for players they didnt even need. cubs all the way this year.

Q. i am serious about the cory kennedy thing. lol. – heather d

A. i gave up teens for lent