one reason ryan seacrest is a failure

is because he doesn’t know how to handle a good thing when it’s friggin tossed right in his friggin lap

gary busey graciously gave seacrest something interesting during another lackluster three hours of “omg hi” and “omg what are you wearing” and instead of taking the bull by the horns and riding that bad boy bareback, he turned positioned himself nervously behind two women as a human shield.

joan rivers is a million years old, is as petite as anyone in hollywood, and if busey had tried to bum rush her show she would have either kneed the buddy holly star in the family jewels or traded jokes with the man.

but seacrest is the epitome of phony baloney and doesnt know what to say unless its either written on a card or whispered into his earpiece.

your life is fucked and youve outted yourself on national tv when you sheepishly shriek for the aid of affleck from the current milf of the week.

stay off my carpet and go get your tips teased next year, seacrest, or we’ll send anonymous after your ass next.

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