should you play there?

Maybe in LA you should rock a smaller venue on your first headlining tour. Like the Gibson. Or better yet the Wiltern.

If you’re Rihanna maybe you should show the entertainment capital that you’re not just a pretty face with great producers behind you. Maybe you should convince us that you’re truly a force that’s going to be around a while and the long legs are just a bonus.

Because what happens when you mostly fill up a basketball arena is you barely please the wrong people and you barely prove anything.

The only message you send is that you’re 21 and gorgeous and you were lucky enough to have Jay-z and endless amount of songwriters around you. I’d that skill? Talent? Or just the Johnny Bravo syndrome of being the right former-model at the right place at the right time?

Personally I want to believe that there’s something special and unique about Rhi Rhi other than her island accent and her ability to wear the most ridiculous outfits and mostly pull them off. Personally I want to believe that she is the sole reason that her pop hits are hits because of something she is responsible for and not her posse.

But tonight at Staples I heard the biggest screams for her special guest star Eminem who joined her for their duet “I love the way you lie” and the second biggest scream for the video image of her maestro Jiggaman who was nowhere near LA.

Sure she said hi to LA the right number of times, yes the production was passable and professional enough, but as Robert Plant once asked “does anyone remember laughter?”. Where was the joy? Where was the pain? The passion?

TELL US WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE YOUNG AND IN LOVE GIRL! AND RICH. AND FAMOUS.

I don’t wanna be a rude boy but after 3 records shouldn’t we expect Rihanna to be big enough, tough enough, and savvy enough to share with an audience some of the emotion of being a pop princess in this disposable world?

No shout out to LA who delivered you youre new love? No defiant rant about how not that long ago you were riding to that very same Staples Center and your life came crashing down – BUT NOW YOURE BACK AND YOU SOLD OUT THE EFFER?

has everyone forgotten the venom in rock? the power of goodbye? What happened to Girl Power?

Was all that replaced by a curious 1 minute cover of a Shelia E 80s hit and outfits that show off your curvy thighs?

Sadly what we got tonight was a robotic, frenzied, hurried tour through all the great (and not so great) tunes of a top 40 diva who can’t dance and can barely sing. And in LA, a town where super pretty young women in hot clothes are everywhere, that doesn’t really cut it.

Jay-Z has a lot more strings to pull in regards to this one. because unfortunately she cannot do it on her own.

baseball is over 100 years old. but the rules are so intricate and beautiful that even those who have been playing it professionally for decades sometimes screw up and ruin everything for their teams.

last night the dodgers were leading the game going into the ninth. their hall of fame bound manager was in the locker room after being ejected previously in the night. the acting manager, don mattingly, walked out to the mound to talk to all-star closer jonathan broxton. after the short meeting donny baseball left the mound and headed back to the dugout.

all was well until first basemen james loney asked a followup question.

mattingly, who had just barely stepped off the mound turned around and stepped back on the mound to answer loney for a brief moment. seconds later he left the mound for a second time and returned to the dugout.

the opposing manager bruce bochy then protested to the umpires that mattingly had actually visited the mound twice which means broxton had to be removed from the game. the umps agreed and forced george sherril, who had not warmed up, to replace broxton. the cold pitcher gave up a series of hits and the dodgers lost.

lessons learned: keep your head in the game, always watch everything at all times, dont improvise on the pitching mound.

and if i was a dodger fan id be wondering why there are two yankees running things for the dodgers. but since im a cub fan i dont really care much.

the Cubs dont suck this year because of you. they suck because theyre the Cubs

and this is not the year.

next year, however, is a different story.

anyway, thanks for the memories.

i took my truest and a bottle of wine to the bowl

it was bugs bunny cartoons accompanied by the LA Philharmonic

they had some special guests like Tom & Jerry, The Flintstones, and Scooby Doo, for some reason

the people behind us couldnt stop talking. i wished them ill. and afterwards there was fireworks

as we walked down the hill to the subway, we saw this lady riding her inflatable toy.

<3 hollywood.

thats what youve gotta tell yrself.

which is funny because each of us has a story to tell

and they all end in death.

but we walk around putting our hands on peoples shoulders and say oh it’ll be ok

and they sniffle and say i know, i know.

but how do we know? we’re on the same crazy freak ride theyre on.

but weirdly, it does get better.

the sun

does

come out tomorrow.

everywhere i go i hear people talking about being unemployed.

woman sitting next to me on the subway asked a guy coming home from his security man job if they were hiring

he said he didnt know

she said she was sick of not having a job.

and i know that this may be funny to you but then she farted.

the kids behind me laughed but i didnt

the whole ride she kept looking over at what i was writing in my email

it’ll be ok

i typed

and hoped she saw

Or should it be unadorned and pure?

is there anything thats pure any more? especially in rock?

only thing that was pure is long gone, and thats the slow, strumming guitar of hank sr. who allegedly sold his soul to the devil at robert johnsons crossroads.

but when you write lyrics like this, you dont need any Fat Boy, phasers, or fuzz

Hear that lonesome whippoorwill
He sounds too blue to fly
The midnight train is whining low
I’m so lonesome I could cry

with that said i think every guitarist should master the theremin so anyone can bust into whole lotta love in a snap.

King James:
Also I have made a decree, that whosoever shall alter this word, let timber be pulled down from his house, and being set up, let him be hanged thereon; and let his house be made a dunghill for this.

English Standard Version:
Also I make a decree that if anyone alters this edict, a beam shall be pulled out of his house, and he shall be impaled on it, and his house shall be made a dunghill.

New Living Translation:
Those who violate this decree in any way will have a beam pulled from their house. Then they will be tied to it and flogged, and their house will be reduced to a pile of rubble.

do it right or go back to san diego

even if you’ve lost yr corkscrew

step one: get a hammer

step two: get a screw driver and a screw. step three: screw the screw into the cork

step four: use the hammer to slowly pry the screwed cork

repeat, pull slowly

wine glasses, optional