let’s see…
cubs hat: check
cubs shirt: check
beautiful cherry wood gibson SG: check
but i let my axe hang a lot lower than that
also, the only time i wear a cubs hat and cubs shirt at the same time is at Wrigley Field
but i do love Tom Morello and Rage and what he wrote in yesterdays LA Times
is better than anything i ever wrote there times 100
i wanted to manage the cubs
i wanted like 27 kids
and i wanted to give half of my salary to charity.
when i was in college i gave up on the cubs
i only wanted six kids
and i wanted to be a college professor one day.
when i moved back to LA the second time
my dreams were way simpler:
i wanted hot babes to love me
and i wanted to see as many great rock shows as i could.
today my dreams are even simpler
i want to fix the world
and give 3/4 of my salary to charity.
tonight i saw donald trump make a fool out of himself on tv because his money grubbing hasnt satisfied him so now he wants to aquire as much power as he can get
and i watched on twitter as kim kardashian stood by her man via snapchat.
we all have dreams.
some are bigger than others.
the first thing i want to fix is the block that i have preventing me from writing about my big plan.
but everything comes to you in due time.
will you be ready for it is the real question.
How about this:
1. Mike Pence believes that gays and lesbians can be turned “straight” via therapy and HIV/AIDS funding should be diverted to pay for it.
2. He abandoned plans to start a state-run news agency once his local newspaper found out about it.
3. Is so in the pocket of Big Tobacco he once wrote “Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill.”
4. He believes George Washington was a Republican… even though Washington was against political parties.
5. Lost a bid for Congress when it was discovered he used political donations to pay the mortgage on his house, golf tournament fees and car payments for his wife.
But whatever. Trump + Pence is a Hindenburg. It’s probs best to just stay far a way.
ive had a charmed life
ive kissed the prettiest girls
ive traveled the world
you you and you have read my humble little blog.
but one of the best parts of my life has been the friendships that ive been lucky enough to have
and of those friends, it has been so nice to have friends who literally rock
Tsar is comprised of friends i met in college. some from the dorms and some from the Nexus.
and Solomon came straight from the pages of the Good Book.
this video is from the Bootleg when they opened for Nerf Herder.
what a great show. in part because of Dan’s mustache.
but then there were all these strings attached as to whom i could bring
theyre trying to set me up with someone in the agency who is nice
and smart, and easy on the eyes
if you like that sorta thing
but shes super bossy and judgemental and plays things waaaaay too safe if you ask me.
she keeps asking me why i dont have a house
and why my apartment is better furnished
i told her that some things deserve attention and other things dont.
i told her that im laser focused right now.
when i get home i make sure the cats have steak in their bowls
and theres plenty of gingerale in the gingerale fountain.
then i look at the kitty litter to make sure their poops are blue and green
then i look in the fridge and make sure theres plenty of liver and bacon and apple cider.
whats the difference between apple cider and apple juice she asked me once.
and i said there are some things that deserve attention and other things dont.
then i told her i turn on my bedroom tvs and fire up my xbox and ps4
and she asked why do you need both game systems.
i told her, are there only blondes and brunettes running around? she said what?
i said there are more than just those two systems, you know.
and i said then i switch on the ceiling fan and open the window and guess what, im about 80 percent satisfied with life right there.
she said what about love?
i said, are you the pokemon of love that i better catch or someone else will get it and live forever and ever in utter happiness
and she couldnt say yes so i said, then you probably should either grab a joy stick
or order us some soul food because this is the part of my day where i take off my pants.
and thats how i lost my tickets to Boston tonight
it took an hour and we talked the whole way
she has been to coachella the last two years. vip both times.
she wants to go to college on the east coast.
she doesnt like Taylor Swift, at all.
she loves Selena Gomez but wasnt aware that her latest movie is on Netflix
says she looks at Snapchat maybe 40 times a day
says that when she looks at it and doesnt see anything new from her friends, she’ll look at Cosmo’s story or something else
follows the kardashians on snapchat and ariana grande
goes to private school in west LA and her parents either drive her or she takes lyft
when she goes to coachella she doesnt camp, she chips in with her friends to rent a house
loved Flostradamus
did not see AC/DC or Guns n Roses because: not interested
wants to try the Kylie Jenner lip kit but hasnt gotten around to it
loves Obama and will miss him.
doesnt shop at nearby Del Amo Mall, instead prefers The Grove.
fascinating convo the whole way.
it was held in san diego, which is only a few hours away from my home
seven Cubs were named to the team. the entire infield was Cubs.
but as you know i hate san diego and i hope it falls into the ocean and gets flushed down into the center of the earths core.
one reason is because in 1984 the padres beat the cubs in the playoffs.
this week’s all star game was a celebration of sorts of that 84 padres team. they made everyone wear the brown and yellow shit and piss colors of that year during the home run derby.
during any other circumstance i might have paid big bucks to see my cubbies take the field and represent. but as i just said i hope Dani Targeryian’s dragons fly down there and burn the whole city down.
as i was getting ready to watch the game on tv my dear friend Dave, who was down there for work, took a picture of the worst announcer in sports, joe buck, and texted it to me. he went one step further by putting my pride and joy, the busblog’s url on the picture to enhance the “humor”. i nearly choked on my short rib. as you can see the pretty lady interviewing him is keeping her distance because lighting will strike him one day soon and that day cannot come soon enough.
so yeah that was part of my yesterday. trying to watch my cubs. trying to forget it was being held in the land that time hates. and trying to squint with my ears as joe called the game. what i noticed was because all of his fantasy boyfriends were on the field he had a hard time ruining the game. boy did he try. but it wasnt actually all that bad.
he did leave out one huge detail because hes a company man robot and only speaks outloud what is written down in front of him.
the detail was, the NL was the visitors last night even though San Diego, for all its faults, is an NL city.
what Joe didn’t mention was in the next couple of years MLB is going to have the all star game in two more NL cities so they let the AL be the “home” team last night because, well, the AL is stinky like SD so may as well let them pretend for a night that theyre at home.
last summer something happened and i couldnt go so i sold my tickets to ross french, known cubs fan
this summer everything was great when mr matt welch wrote me and said
pick me up at the airport, bring some sushi, we are going to a great party
there will be famous people, free drinks, and probably cheerleaders.
then he said, respond to this email asap and say yes.
so i did and i did totally forgetting that i had tix to weird al at my favorite venue
the hollywood bowl
i dont have any weird al records
but do you need any? for a while his music was on the radio constantly.
then when i lived with whalen, he held him in great honor.
if only i knew whalen’s number id offer them to him, gratis.
so i put them on ebay and did you know you can send a portion of the winnings to charity?
i looked for some non profits in isla vista or my old town in illinois but i didnt see anything good
then i checked out hollywood and there was a non profit for runaway teens.
so they will probably get $25-$50 of my winnings.
developing…
tony whats your biggest problem
its probably my blog
whats wrong with the busblog?
the problem is when i get ready to write something i always have the best intentions. i want to write something arty and weird and deep and beautiful and so sexy that women from all around the world email me and say omg tony heres me in various outfits and poses, please, lets hang out in LA at your earliest convenience. but what happens is what i write ends up being predictable and bland and not sexy and not arty and certainly not weird. its never about cool topics it’s never written with any semblance of mystery. it’s just out there. boom.
and how does this make you feel?
its like if youre about to make love to someone special, you dont just unzip your fly and clap your hands twice to turn off the lights… you get the candles going, youve got a mixtape rolling, there may even be incense. the sheets are clean, the cats have been drugged and are snoring in a closet, youve showered. trimmed your nails.
im very confused. what does this have to do with your blog journal?
when i write it theres two steps: abject procrastination followed by an unrehearsed vomit session of ideas. theres no follow up, no editing, no fact checking, no spell checking. most of the time i wont even read it afterwards out of pure disgust. my mom will say something like, great writing today! and i will have to go and see what the heck shes talking about. its the opposite of professional or passionate or arty. it’s foul. the process is wrong. the results are all luck. sometimes good sometimes bad. but never what is intended. ever.
and how does that make you feel?
i reminds me of something Ric Ocasek said a long time ago.
is he a baseball player?
no he is that tall lanky pale singer songwriter of The Cars
oh he married a model.
yes. and produced Bad Brains and Weezer’s first record and anyways he said he loves all this dark, trippy weird shit but when he gets on the guitar or at the piano all that comes out is this super poppy 80s music and the only way he can give it any edge is to just slow it down like by a million.
have you tried that?
i just told you, theres nothing to try, i kneel down at the bowl and hurl.
oh. right. got it. that’ll be a hundred bucks please.
all weekend there were protests around the country.
most of the time police donning riot gear approached the demonstrators in aggressive ways with night sticks and machine guns and little mini tanks.
but in LA when the protesters marched down Manchester past the 405 to Randy’s Donuts
and the cops were nowhere in the shot.
they just let the demonstration happen.
now it helped that there were lots of alternative routes for motorists to use to get around the blocked off intersection
and when the demonstration found its way onto the 405 where they blocked traffic for a few minutes, the cops arrived and moved them back to the safety of the donut intersection
and then the cops left.
with no friction, the people did what good people do: they did something beautiful and made a peace symbol.
for all the mistakes and cringeworthy moments of this weekend, this was a super sweet spontaneous image i’ll never forget.
and we have the inglewood police and their mayor, mayor butts, to thank for it.