i say live your life

i say if you wanna cheat at Mario Bros, then thats you

i say if you wanna drive like an asshole, do it

i mean it’s tougher to be nice to people and polite and let people get in front of you on a crowded LA street during rush hour

trying to get from west LA under the 405 to the east side

and a real superhero would be able to do it with good tunes bumpin

hand holdin

speaker phoning

but others wanna honk and flash and throw up the middle fingers.

what can i do.

this guy wasnt paying attention and  tried to make it through the intersection over by the VA

but nope, nothing was moving so he ended up blocking traffic.

this other guy couldnt get around him so he started honking.

first guy goes, what am i supposed to do?

honker yells dont be a moron next time.

which doesn’t really make sense because…

and i had the sun roof open and now i see a little color on my bald head which is funny.

and almost exactly what summer is supposed to be.

this was a tough week

careful readers may have noticed that i hadnt updated in almost a full week.

not sure that has ever been done in the history of this blog, but as soul asylum said about records

they were made to be broken.

when bad things happen we get to take a good hard look at what things matter.

we get to rewind the tape and see if we we missed any signs.

did Fred not wanna go see Solo with me because he was depressed or because Star Wars films are becoming less special?

playing detective with our memories is an interesting game for a little while but only if it changes our behaviors going forward. how can we become better friends, boyfriends, employees, neighbors, strangers?

it’s weeks like these that make me wonder about little moments that make my day: when people are nice in traffic, when an old man shakes his head at a bad parker, when a homeless man tells me a funny and unexpected joke, when i read a funny comment on reddit, when an old song from the past gets reunited with my insatiable ears, when i feel at home out in the streets.

how can we be in the world so that we put a smile on other people’s faces as we continue slouching towards bethlehem?

theres very little in this world that i have truly wanted that i have not received. and i am so grateful to that.

right now my phone is streaming a recording of Czech pianist leading a Mozart concerto. the music is being sent through the air to a Marshall speaker that looks like one of their famous guitar amps. my cat is purring at my lap and soon i will be reading the Bible from an iPad.

we are living in some of the weirdest and yet magical periods of time.

i am so grateful.

and i am committed to being a good spirit in this dance.

and sometimes the devil wins

i know i write a lot about the Bible.

i do it because i am surrounded by the most interesting, most well-read and brilliant minds, but they refuse to read the most misunderstood tome ever.

sometimes the devil wins.

i do it because i am the least interesting, least well-read, confused mind, and i am fascinated by it.

for a so-called book of propaganda, page after page reflects a basic human condition: rebellion.

either corrupt leaders are rebelling against What Is Obviously Right, men are cheating on their wives, the powerful are enslaving the poor, or the privileged are refuting what they have experienced in favor of what is poisonous for them.

ignorance, fear, foolishness… whatever their motivating roots,  in the Bible, just like in life, people themselves are often their worst enemies.

and the devil wins.

some propaganda when chapter after chapter tribes and cultures would rather make wooden idols and pray to them instead of following the God who oversees miracle after miracle.

some propaganda when the Son of God appears and is ridiculed and mocked and shunned by even those who see him work his magic up close.

some propaganda when there is rarely an ah-ha moment by any of the main characters in the New Testament, and those who were faithful are portrayed as insane, criminal, and whores.

i believe the Bible because it keeps it so real that even the impossible to believe parts don’t seem so wild because what is more confounding than to constantly listen to the devil in your head instead of the angel in front of you

ride or die.

critics say God shows very little love for his people in the bible: he floods them, shuns them from the Garden, plays deadly games with them, asks them to Believe with zero proof

and i agree there are very few scenes where Jesus or Moses or David takes a child or a hater or anyone on his lap and strokes their hair and says, “I love you so much, I wish I could connect with you, I wish you could see what I see when I see you.”

but the Bible isn’t a cheesy movie. it isn’t Hollywood. it isn’t all the phony baloney melodrama we’ve grown accustomed to. it is a reflection of real life, real relationships, and real struggles and rarely do those include some poetic soliloquy

and ironically there are very few come to Jesus moments.

what there is is a general theme of patience.

God is frustrated by his creations from the first couple and then again by their kid who kills their other kid. and on and on and on.

At first He’s like fuuuuuuuck these people and wipes them almost all out, but realizes that isn’t gonna solve anything. and the rest of the book is about God trying his best not to slaughter every last asswipe himself.

but damn if the devil doesn’t win page after page after page.

without even trying.

just by being there.

just by being Bad.

humans are so attracted to Bad and Fear and Sadness and Misery in the good book – and in life – that they feel more comfort and safety in it than with Love or Peace or Unity or even being a good neighbor.

every ugly violent act is portrayed in the bible – while beauty is rare.

but when it does happen it startles even Jesus.

one of my favorite stories, which seems ridiculous out of context, but when framed by all the suspicion and confusion of the Gospels is when a woman makes her way though the throngs to get near Jesus.

for 12 years she was, basically, a hemophiliac – she couldn’t stop bleeding.

she thinks to herself, “if I can just touch him, I will be healed.” so when she finally gets close enough, she touches the hem of his clothes and she is instantly healed. he can feel it all through her body.

Jesus felt the power leave him too and turns around and says to the crowd, “who touched me?”

some wise guy said – and im paraphrasing, “bro look around at this giant crowd, everyone is touching you.”

but the woman, knowingly, but afraid, gets on her knees crying, admitting it was her.

and Jesus, in one of the most loving moments he will have, says,

“because of your Faith you are healed. go in peace.”

the devil doesn’t always have to win.

he wins a LOT but not always and sometimes it’s the smallest things that we are all capable of

that can bring healing to our lives.

but what the story of the bleeding woman teaches me is

sometimes you just have to walk,

for once,

towards Good.

what do you do when you dont know

do you just scroll and wait and cry and die inside

i yell.

yelling though has never seemed to work for me.

but it comes out like puke that wont wait for you to get to where you need to go.

it blurts then unfurls all over.

creativity like you’ve never heard.

my voice makes sounds that i dont even recognize.

i dont feel better afterwards

and i rarely get what i want because of it.

no one avoids marching down that path again because somehow the erruption is only

merely annoying

instead of omg wtf Noooooooo

my problem is being cool doesn’t work for me either.

and then people think they can just come right up to me and diss me.

but you know, the cubs won the world series.

so fuck em all.

who cares any more?

the trouble started with the caring.

i try to be good, but it’s of no good

people dont want your help

people dont want you to lead by example

people dont care what youve done in your past thats good

people only care about the demons in their own head

how can they appease them

people bow to those demons instead of to hope, to love, to possibilities

theyre gonna vote republican

theyre gonna lie about stuff to your face

theyre gonna sell you out.

when i think of leading by example i think of Pete Rose

but people dont wanna think about Pete Rose

they just wanna say he was a dumb redneck hillbilly who was a gambling addict

they just wanna say how was he leading by example

and i say i mean in baseball, the only reason you know him, the only thing he could do great

can we focus on the thing he did great?

the people dont wanna listen.

you cannot help the people.

Jesus came down here, walked around, debated the people

but the people didnt wanna listen.

he answered all the questions from his disciples.

he walked on water on a wild day with the wind whipping around and the white caps and the spray

he fed the hungry, healed the sick, all right in front of his disciples

the people who were supposed to love him the most

his squad.

and the day before he was ready to die they said, ok cool but now can you show us God?

he said but

he said but why do you think i was able to do those things

why do you think theyre about to kill me

why do you think imma let em “kill” me

and they said yeah yeah but come on youre great, but youre not God

and then we shoulda known that you cant do anything for people

maybe your mom will appreciate it.

but thats probably it.

your mom.

and thats it.

they caught me and made a sign

i have a good life.

it’s not the life i expected to have, but in some ways thats what makes it especially interesting.

i dont have a house or a kid or a wife or terrible debts

i can sleep in as long as i want

i dont have to drive anyone to school.

thanks to my sister and her husband, there are little people who look like me.

and thanks to rent control i will probably live in this hollywood bachelor pad for the rest of my days.

likewise, thanks to this blog i have a girlfriend who loves me who makes me nice foods and dresses up in outrageous costumes which i would love to share with you but some things

i suppose

should be left in the private domain.

i write these things not to brag but mostly to remind myself when i drive past mini mansions or see kids playing ball or watch three girls kiss a pizza delivery guy on my laptop: everyone is having a good time, enjoy your brand of happiness. and by you i mean you tony.

last night amber and i had sushi over looking a sunset on sunset blvd. it was happy hour so we ordered all the things we wanted and drank all the sodas and teas and tonight she will fly to nyc and get a little vacation from me.

which trust me is necessary because i am a demanding bossy hyper critical boyfriend sometimes due to, astrologers claim, is my rising star, which is asshole.

i have a reliable car, incredibly fast internet speed, and i follow a baseball team who could use one more starter, but what else is now.

excuse me as i must detangle my cats from each other, an action which i hope is the toughest one i will have all day.

the funny thing about twitter we pretend it’s not dangerous

bloggers could have told you decades ago that writing what you really feel

in public

is a risky proposition, especially if you are a bad person deep down.

now im one of the few people who didn’t vote for the president who liked the new Rosanne reboot.

sure it was cheesy at times and dumb at others, but for the most part it was funny

and a few of the people wore Cubs stuff.

also, Rosanne was an Uber driver, which is hilarious to me, now more than ever.

the fact that her character was a Trump supporter, i thought was punk rock

because the majority of Trump supporters have this weird false idea that this allegedly rich dude

who has never done anything for working people like The Connors

is suddenly looking out for the average American family.

and the new Roseanne show painted that twisted image beautifully in all of its shabby chic pathetickness.

but TV Rosie would have never known what Real Life Rosie was all about because TV Rosie didn’t use Twitter or get shoutouts from the president or did she have 685,5000 followers.

she was just a grandma with bad knees with a decent one-liner every 2 minutes.

Real Rosie believes in conspiracy theories, thinks racist jokes are funny, and just tweeted millions of dollars down the drain.

which is to say nothing about her cast and crew who are now jobless.

the funny thing about twitter is it is fire and it can burn those who don’t respect it

and one way to respect it is to respect others.

Rosanne is old enough to know that comparing black people to apes is like suicide by cop.

she waved her gun around hoping to get shot and they shot her down.

what i wish she would have done is taken that devil-may-care attitude to having her character express

really

why she, who prospered during Obama, suddenly is backing the opposite of that.

but sometimes intellectualism doesn’t reach across the aisle.

even if it would have meant even bigger ratings.

RIP

sometimes i forget the magic tricks

that got me here

that make me me

that make me better than the others

that make me sparkle a little on the lineup

and one of those things is

incredibleness.

what happens is i get hella impatient and assume that just because one plus one is working out, that two plus two should be right in the pocket too

but they are mutually exclusive.

and constantly changing. see it’s not even 2 plus 2 any more it’s 3 times ten.

everythings constantly moving and spinning and growing and mutating. youre old enough to know that curveballs not gonna hit you.

and if it does youve got a helmet on.

walked through DTLA tonight alone, eating from a bag of funyuns feeling good.

maybe a little too good.

had lunch with a passenger

started out as it usually does, i picked her up at her hotel in beverly hills, she said she needed to go to a specialty curtain boutique.

the hotel valet guy loaded some luggage into her trunk. but we were going the opposite direction of the airport.

whatever. im not there to pry.

but who are we kidding, im tony pierce. all i do is pry.

she was a nice white lady in her 60s with a big coat on and a big purse. not at all snooty or snotty like youd think a lady coming out of a 90210 hotel would be. which is one of the nice things about life: the little surprises.

before we made it a mile she was talking about weed and howard stern and i knew we were going to be friends.

turns out she has several homes. a summer home in the Big Sky country, one in Palm Desert and condos here and there.

not only had she done well but her husband and his family came from wealth – but you wouldnt know it from her clothes

her attitude or her likes and dislikes.

she seemed very much a mature hippie who was grounded enough to have sifted out the baloney

and smart enough to appreciate the things that matters.

in her case it was honesty, joy, good relationships, and quality.

so when we made it near the Pacific Design Center she said, i will be going to the airport in an hour or so, i would love for you to be my driver. how do we arrange that?

i said, i would like that too, but i can’t make any guarantees that i will be around here in an hour, my next ride might take me to orange county for all i know, but here’s my card. call me when you are ready to rock.

i circled back to the academy because i needed to pee. and when i was reading the uber facebook groups someone mentioned that there was no surge on Uber X, and wasnt that odd because this was Memorial Day Friday and typically the surge would be 2.0-2.5x

then someone asked is it a glitch?

so i switched the app from Select (the luxury rides) to X (the typical rides) and holy guacamole it was surging at 3.6x. sometimes when a glitch happens it bumps all the drivers off the platform for a moment but then the uber computers see passengers hailing cars but no cars so the surge jumps up — and quickly — and any driver who can get online will get a ride at more than triple the fare.

so i promptly pulled up my pants and ran to the garage and while i did i got a ping nearby at the glorious 3.6x rate.

because i knew i had this nice woman probably calling me, i didn’t care when the new ride was going to be not the longest. who doesn’t want to make an extra $10 on a little jaunt?

that guy was cool. his face seemed odd like maybe he was a burn victim. and i did pick him up near a bunch of doctors offices. and along the way he asked if we could stop by a gas station for ice and i was all, only if you invite me to the bbq. and he said, bring the whiskey and your on. we laughed. i got him to the spot. he got the ice. we got to his pad and as i was driving back toward WeHo she called me.

i’ll be there in 10 minutes i told her and i was. but along the way i saw he had tipped me $5, meaning i made $16 on that little break, and i got to take a leak. thanks God!

picked her up and she was all, make sure you take La Cienega. i said i will go any way you want, this is your dime. and we talked about her Tesla and how she saw the Beyonce show at Coachella because a friend of hers does the art there and had some extra Artist passes and we talked about how she has been married since she was 20 and theyre still together and we just had the best time.

as we approached LAX she asked, so what will you do now? i said, i will probably go to In n Out then cruise down the 1 towards Santa Monica and see if i get lucky.

she said, In n Out? my plane doesn’t take off until 90 minutes from now. Care if I join you? and i said ahahaha not at all!

so we went to the drive thru and she gave me $20 and hopped out to go to the bathroom and she hopped back in and we got our food and i thought she wanted to take it on the plane. but she said, you can pull over here.

and she tucked a napkin into her shirt like charlie chaplin would do and we ate in the car watching planes take off and land.

and i gave her back her $20 and said you have been such a delight, please allow me to pay for the burgers.

and she said you are SO GOOD I MUST PUT YOUR NUMBER IN MY PHONE.

and when i looked at the app, she snuck a great tip in there.

and thats how i started my memorial day weekend.

Louis Farrakhan had some interesting things to say about Trump

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rYkRA0a7kE

Well, that wasn’t the intent of this administration to do a lot of good for us but the nature of this administration is good for us because now, you know, sometimes you think you’re where you’re not. Trump is letting you know where you really stand. And because of Trump’s way, he is an anomaly.

There’s never been a president quite like Mr. Trump. But there’s something that he’s doing. I’m going to come out in a few weeks and talk about it.

But Trump is destroying every enemy that was an enemy of our rise.

Who is the enemy of our rise?

Is it the Department of Justice where we get none?

Is it Congress where you make a law that favors us and then you turn around and destroy it?

Is it the media that has destroyed every Black leader that stood up for us calling us out of our name?

Martin Luther King suffered it. Malcolm X suffered it. W.E.B. DuBois suffered it. Marcus Garvey suffered it.

So he’s attacking the media, calling it “fake news.” I don’t think everything is fake.

But I know very well that we have been the victims of some fake news.

Now, the FBI? Go at it, baby. They’ve been beating the hell out of us ever since J. Edgar Hoover and the Counterintelligence Program of the U.S. government. So go ahead, Mr. Trump.

But here’s the problem. Mr. Trump, you have to be careful because I did say on a sister station that if we voted for Trump, he’s going to take America to Hell on a rocket ship. And America, he thinks, is gaining by the bullying, by the threats.

No, Mr. Trump, America is losing. And if America triggers the Third World War, which the Bible calls Armageddon, the America that we know, we shall never, ever know it again.

We really need to stop and check because you’re getting the country into deep trouble