sometimes you might feel like climbing the shit house

and sometimes you might feel like walking on top of said houses

and sometimes you might feel like

you know what,

i really should just totally jump

no matter what they say about white men and jumping.

and at that point you should probably ask yourself

have i ever jumped off a shit house before?

this is a lesson i want to put on a tshirt

have i ever jumped off a shit house before?

but something tells me if there was a tshirt that said that

this dude woulda had it

and woulda worn it when he jumped.

30 years ago i was selling tvs in west LA

wall of tvs

how can it be 30 years already?

what have i done with my life?

this was right before i went to ucsb, which means it was before the xbi got their fingers into me

and i was hustling at the tv wall. all the tvs were on the same station so you could “compare” them

which was a giant lie because each tv was getting a slightly different signal based on how close they were to the original source. plus customers would tweak the settings

plus salesmen would tweak the settings.

plus some of the tvs were spanking brand new and others were oooooold.

the space shuttle was about to take off and the couple i was trying to sell to said

hey the space shuttle is about to take off

it was showing on all the tvs. it was history happening. so i shut my trap and we all watched.

it took off, it went up, and then it exploded.

everyone died.

on all the tvs.

in all of our hearts.

my customers were no longer interested in buying any damn tv any more.

and i wasnt interested in selling one neither.

a few months later i quit and started pumping gas in beverly hills.

why? because i was convinced i should help people instead of shaking them down.

she insisted i come to her house and bring a “bandit mask”

masklike a burglar’s mask? i texted

a bandit. a burglar is not sexy, a bandit is.

earlier she had complained that i never wanted to meet her at her palatial residence. she tried to insult my pad. which is impossible. my place is near legendary.

she called it quaint and cozy but not sexy.

i said most of the time peoples eyes are closed, so who cares about all that crap? she said, just bring your bandit mask and a bandit toque and a striped shirt if you have one.

dont worry about capes, she whispered. i have capes.

i wanted to say bitch i got capes too and i bet mines are better’n yours, but ive been lonely and whatever. lets see these fantastic capes of yours.

she was pretty. sorta gorgeous, but like i said, most of the times your eyes are closed so who cares what people look like half the time. nowadays someones voice dont even matter cuz youre texting or emailing or using morse code.

when i got there the lights were off in her house and i thought maybe she got cold feet. or worse it was some weird surprise party or she was gonna have the cops waiting for me. my mind can think of a million scenarios in minutes. mostly bad ones.

i texted “here!” and i heard her clack across her hardwood to the door and swing it open dramatically and pose. she had a nightie, thigh highs, heels and what i guess was her bandit mask which sure as shit didnt look like mine.

she whispered: put yours on before you come in.

whatever. did.

we got to her room and she turned off the lights. i prayed for my soul to keep. and she said, tony, i asked you to wear the mask and the cap and oh crap heres the cape. because i feel like our feelings are often stifled.

i said, nah, i just dont have any.

she said, of course you do sweetie. you love your mother, and the cubs, and… little armenia.

(how did she know what i called my schween?)

yes, i agreed,  but i wouldnt call them feelings. those are just facts.

she said, well i have feelings, and they are stifled, i’ll speak for myself, so i propose we wear these outfits and take on the roles of antony and cleopatra. and speak as if we are simply in a play. no ones feelings will get hurt. neither of us has skin in the game. annnnnd action!

beautiful cleopatra, thank you for inviting me here, i began, singing my lines because thats acting?

yes my dear, she said, perking up, loving it.

but i dont deserve you. your energy, your mind, your neck, the bone beneath your neck, your bra strap, your bra, and what lies beneath your bra

but of course you do, she said, standing, ceiling fan twirling above her despite the fact that we are in winter.

alas, i don’t. for i have not been faithful to you.

Antony!

it’s true.

but!

i know.

BUT!

hand me my sword, for i will fall on it.

and she held out an invisible sword.

my invisible sword.

she motioned for me to stop blocking the camera which rested on a tripod.

and i fell on it, and then the upon the fuzzy throw rug, and laid there on my back.

you cant be dead. you cant be dead! she cried.

i said nothing.

seriously you cant be dead, she repeated.

i opened one eye.

you still have a boner, she said pointing

i whispered: thats why they call us stiffs.

and she groaned.

chris and dave and i saw the lakers last night

puigsuper fun

had to use the jedi mind trick on a security guard which was pretty amazing

no, we dont need to show you our tickets

all is fine

you will let us sit there

and afterwards you will say have a great night.

took a Lyft back from the game to the crib.

$8.

?!?!?

im not saying it should be $20

but it should be closer to $15.

$8?

i tipped the dude $5 but still.

my beer cost more than that.

yasiel puig was at the game, rodman, floyd money mayweather.

everyone wants to see Kobe’s last games, but Kobe was hurt and didnt play. they put a picture of him up on the scoreboard and everyone cheered.

it was a good game. came down to the last second. Dirk Nowitzski, who should also retire soon, made a last second shot.

i had the best chicken mcnuggets as we watched the game.

i know theyre made of boots and diarrhea, but dat hot mustard.

woke up in the middle of the night barfing

jim mcmahon and walter payton

it was one of those things that happens every now and then.

all this bile in my gut rises in my throat and tries to suffocate me in my sleep.

i usually have the most deep, peaceful, black out sleeps.

but every once and a while there’s a disturbance in the force.

a blue moon.

as a wolf howls on top of a berm.

there are two types of people, my murderous puke hissed as it crawled up my windpipe last night

there are people who will never learn, who dont wanna learn, who are losers, who will always be losers, who will fucking always just get in the way, and even when they die it will cause traffic jams

and then there are those who might not get it now, but who try, who will ultimately contribute to the tribe, some sooner than later.

as the frothy bile made its way to the light my head automatically turned away from my window and towards the door

so the puke wouldnt end up in my beautiful waterbed.

so impending death wouldnt stain my silk sheets.

as i woke, i choked, my cats scattered, the christmas lights switched on

and an old man whispered

nexus

Statement By Dov Charney Regarding American Apparel Bankruptcy Ruling

dov

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 25, 2016 /PRNewswire/ 

I am obviously disappointed by the judge’s decision to confirm the debtors’ reorganization plan and hand ownership of American Apparel to its bondholders.

This outcome is one that I have been working tirelessly for nearly two years to avoid in an effort to protect value for the company’s various stakeholders. Now all stockholders will have their shares and value extinguished.

Many of the company’s loyal vendors will recover only cents on the dollar of what the company owes them. And the company’s workers, faced with current management’s inability to generate profits, face a highly uncertain future.

It is without question that the debtors, Standard General and the bondholders carefully orchestrated a strategy to pass the Company over to the bondholders without exposing it to fair market test or bidding.

american apparel

This outcome was the only logical and unfortunate conclusion of many months of pre-bankruptcy preparation on the part of the bondholders and the company’s board.

Here the bondholders and current management effectively used Chapter 11 as a defensive measure to thwart my efforts.

This goal was pursued despite the many alternative pathways and opportunities to preserve value.

As evidence of the lengths the Board went to in facilitating its scheme they filed a “lock – up” agreement, prohibiting secured creditors and bondholders from considering alternative offers.

american apparel

Chief Judge Shannon was clearly concerned about the Company’s failure to undertake any marketing effort and on November 19 he ordered them to market the Company. Although the Debtors were uncooperative even after the Court’s order, through intensive efforts with our financial partners, we submitted-a bid that was demonstrably superior to the Debtors’ filed plan. Indeed, the Court said in its ruling that if American Apparel were for sale, the Court would not have hesitated to send the parties back to the auction table.

The Debtors then increased the economics to match the offer, but refused to engage in further negotiations. They then embarked on a scorched earth campaign to block further bids, subjecting myself and my financial partners to days of depositions during the waning days of the already truncated marketing process. In short, they did everything possible to curtail all efforts to bring fair, reasonable value to creditors.

american apparel

Since relocating American Apparel to Los Angeles in the late 1990’s from South Carolina I was bucking conventional wisdom by trying to preserve American manufacturing jobs and keep apparel manufacturing in the United States. Even though everyone else was moving jobs offshore, I was able to build and grow a profitable apparel business by manufacturing domestically. At every step along the way people challenged me and said I was crazy for trying. American Apparel was one of the only companies that shattered the sweatshop paradigm by paying fair wages, and did so at scale. By the time American Apparel went public in 2007, it was running the largest operating apparel manufacturing plant in the United States.

For these endeavors I remain justifiably proud.

There was logic to the company’s unconventional business strategy as evidenced by the company’s historic earnings.

sass american apparel

Until I was removed as CEO, the company had posted positive EBITDA (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization) in nine of the last ten years.

There were many other things that we did differently at American Apparel, besides manufacturing domestically, in which we were ahead of the times.

Whether it was deploying RFID technology in our retail stores, fulfilling e-commerce orders direct from retail stores, or opening stores in emerging neighborhoods before they were recognized as attractive retail markets (just a few examples among many), we were often ahead of the curve.

It was because our organization respected and celebrated creativity and unorthodox thinking that we were so successful, and I was committed to protecting this spirit of contrarian thinking.

american apparel

When the Company’s board removed me as CEO in June 2014, I was midway through what was shaping up to be a successful recalibration of American Apparel’s business. The process of my disenfranchisement ultimately resulted in a wealth transfer from the Company’s shareholders, vendors, and employees to hedge funds, lawyers, and bankers.

The company was rebounding from a catastrophic distribution center shift implemented by the former CFO and was on track to post a positive operating profit in the second quarter of 2014, and on track to hit its earnings guidance for the year of $40 million EBITDA.

With the company’s bonds trading down because of the uncertainty around the success of the turnaround, I believe I was pushed out as CEO because of pressure that the bondholders exerted on the company’s then CFO and board of directors (As I have alleged in my litigation, I maintain the view that the then CFO, John Luttrell, conspired to sell the company behind my back and to that end disenfranchised me as a shareholder during the June 2014 annual meeting by way of a misleading and fraudulent proxy).

american apparel

The resolute goal of the bondholders was to sell the company so they could profit, but I had to be pushed out of the way since I was the company’s largest shareholder.

I was not willing to give up, and I attempted to regain control of the company because of my concerns that the company was still in a very vulnerable position with its turnaround not yet complete.

I feared, with good reason, that the new management, not understanding what made American Apparel successful in the first place, would try to run the company in a more “conventional” manner.

Because the board and new management did not appreciate that a vertically integrated domestic manufacturer had to approach business in a fundamentally different fashion, I felt that the company’s future was in serious jeopardy if they ran it like a traditional retailer. For this reason, I entered into a partnership with the hedge fund, Standard General, to regain control of the company. I could have assembled a coalition of shareholders to force a change at the board level, but given the urgency of the situation, I decided to surrender part of my economic interest in the company to regain control quickly.

american apparel

When Standard General did not deliver on their promises to reinstall me as CEO by late summer 2014, even though they had appointed new directors constituting a majority of the board, Standard General said I could buy them out of their investment. When I showed up with investors to do precisely this, they said that they could only support a go-private transaction for the entire company.

In December 2014, a private equity firm offered $1.30-$1.40 per share to take the company private. The board rebuffed this offer as well, as offering inadequate value to shareholders for a company they said was worth much more. Instead, the board pursued a path where only a year later the shareholders are receiving zero. The offer that I made in conjunction with Hagan Capital to purchase the company was just one in a long list of offers, and there was no reason to believe that this one would end any differently, given the powerful forces steering the company towards a reorganization where the bondholders end up owning the company. While many parties close to me feared that this would be the outcome of my partnership with Standard General, even they could not fathom such a reversal.

american apparel

While outside observers might not yet appreciate it, I believe the path being followed by the company’s management is a road to ruin. The financial results of plummeting sales and EBITDA thus far support this. Management attempts to explain away their abysmal financial performance, as the result of inadequate liquidity, but the truth is that they misunderstand the unique business model that American Apparel must pursue as a vertically integrated domestic manufacturer.

Their losses are self-inflicted, the result of poor decisions, made by executives who are learning as they go. Part of me can scarcely believe that a court could confirm their plan as feasible given the operating performance of the business under their management and 18 months into their turnaround plan.

But while the bondholders are likely to be put in a position to throw good money after bad for consciously pursuing this path, I worry for the manufacturing workers and the business community who are the collateral damage to this corporate drama.

american apparel

I’m proud of the creativity and innovation that American Apparel fostered over the years. We made important strides in the areas of ethical manufacturing and art as they intersect with commerce.

The sad reality is that American Apparel, the largest garment manufacturer in the United States, will not survive at this pace and I don’t believe the current management has the talent to bring it back to health.

At the end of this saga, I, like the many former stockholders, will most likely be left with nothing. Despite that, what gives me great optimism are the things I possess that can’t be stolen by a predatory hedge fund – my ideas, values, drive, authenticity, integrity and my passion. To that end I ask that my supporters stay tuned.

Dov Charney
(213) 923-7943
dovcharneypersonal@gmail.com

 

dear tony, could you date rihanna?

rihannait would be tough to date rihanna, not because i’m pretty bad at handling high maintenance ppl,

but because my mom doesnt like her.

which is sad because there arent all that many black super dooper pop super stars in the world

and youd think shed be rooting for her

but the day my little niece around the monopoly table started singing

bitch better have my money

was pretty much the last straw.

riri’s travel wouldnt bother me, i’m self sufficient and sometimes the xbi… well lets just say sometimes the busblog is written by committee.

deep down we understand why rihanna is the way she is. if i was one of the prettiest women in the world and every year or so my records just blew up, and every tom dick and harry was trying to get their dick in me, and i was rocking the courtside seats and just getting prettier and prettier magically and kanye and paul mccartney and lord knows who else wanted to perform with me, and i was getting grammys and co-starring in Battleship

it would either turn me very humble, or the opposite of that.

especially if i looked smoking hot in a rain coat.

could i date her? yes. should she date a blogger? no. would we be a match made in heaven? probs. would i take her to isla vista? no. thats my little special place. would i let rihanna help me build a Motel California on del playa?

hmmmmmmmmm

katy perry strolled over and said how long you been sick

katy perryi was all, im not sick, im fit as a fiddle.

she said i can even see through bs. how long have you been sick?

she had her hair up like i like it, a full tray of adult beverages including my favorite

a thick stout salt rimmed glass filled to the brim with margarita.

it was blue with a gold top.

or was that her.

i said for so long.

she said the only way out is through, but that you knew.

she asked why do you have two tvs in your bedroom

i said because i havent saved enough for the third.

even though we’re allegedly in the middle of el nino, it hadnt rained in a while and we even had the window open

the drapes floated in the breeze

and i hopped up to refresh the drinks.

all i knew was the kittens seemed so happy just snoozing on the leather couch in the living room not giving one care what was happening over there.

or over there

or there

or here

why donald trump will lose by one vote from being president

donald trump

we all have self esteem issues.

which is great otherwise we’d all be insufferable assholes.

the fact that donald trump truly believes that he will build a wall

a great wall

and have mexico pay for it is rooted in the same belief he has

that he would make a great president of the united states

even though he would be a disaster

and probably gang-stabbed by the masses like caesar before his first term was over.

he is winning in the polls because he is winning in our hearts.

he is the voice that we wish we had when we are hit with tough obstacles

“my haters love me. my opponents are losers. my whole life’s on fleek.”

“i can’t be bought.”

only that last thing matters.

because money (and not great ideas) makes the world go round,

everyone else in the race has to pretend that corporations and evildoers are

not

lining their pockets with literally millions and millions of dollars.

we always knew that was fucked up but we resigned ourselves to the concept

that money is speech and there was nothing else we can do to stop it.

theres always a way.

and the new way is hire a billionaire.

but unlike most billionaires, donald trump has a way with words.

he’s also believable, entertaining, and weirdly the guy next door.

we’ve definitely sat next to a loud mouth like him at a ball game.

his only problem is he has no experience in this realm, he takes bad advice,

and many fear he is a little too trigger happy in regards to nuking countries who also have nukes.

what donald trump is doing, though, is pushing the envelope so wide that someone

who once would have seemed super radical

next to trump, seems palatable.

that super radical is def not secretary clinton

but it’s bernie sanders,

the sort of crazy this country just might need right now.

if you dont think america is nuts you arent paying attention

voted for bush twice, then obama twice

and its allowing there to be a discussion about the DH in the NL.

if you drug tested this nation its piss would be dirtier than tap water from flint michigan.

the only thing american like better to do than watch football, buy guns and drink bud light

is voting for the most extreme person running for president

we want the world and we want it now

larry david is going to have the best

four years ever

im clogged up

michael jacksoni have to write some things but theres a blockage

two weekends in a row i just wanted to stay in bed and not do anything

dont wanna uber, dont wanna write, dont wanna change the world, dont wanna text this pretty girl and take her to mcdonalds, dont wanna see rock music at the echoplex

dont wanna see movies at the theater

dont wanna do the thing that’ll make me a little extra on the side

dont wanna do laundry dont wanna put things up on sals wall dont wanna read books

dont wanna play nba2k2016

i barely wanna go to the kitchen and crack open another mexicoke, but a mans gotta breathe

today i watched the doc about all those kids who lived in an apartment in the LES and never left

The Wolfpack

then i watched the doc about Keith Richards where he travels the world and sheds new light on blues, country, and rockabilly

i didnt know how much my man tom waits was gonna be in there.

it was good but not as good as The Wolfpack which was bizarre and beautiful and shed a light on the human condition and how tick tock it wont stop. how if you stick us in a closet we’ll turn into psychedelic mushrooms and the longer we’re in there the more potent we will be.

these kids love movies so much i wish i could send them all of my dvds that i dont watch any more.

they taught me i should wear suits more and trench coats.

hard not to respect a man in a suit and a trench coat.

and then give them the benefit of the doubt.

who doesnt want the benefit of the doubt.