im making a cure mix cd for someone who has never really listened to the cure

robert smith how do you do something like that? not try to figure out what to put on there, thats easy, anything. but how do you go through life for thirty years and not really ever have the need to throw on a cure record.

the first cure song i ever heard was lets go to bed which made me want to play the bass. robert smiths voice interested me however because where i grew up you didnt really try to pull a queer eye for the straight guy act unless — well you just didnt do it.

and even though he was singing about a girl he sang it like he does. and femme in chicago at the time wasnt all that cool. neither were the synths or hand claps. but oddly enough it was queens another one bites the dust that allowed for the cure to be accepted. that tune was a huge number one hit and it had a similar bass dominance and femmie singer.

still, the song ruled and everyone looked the other way.

i know i know, weird, but thats how times were back then. you had to worry about everything. i think thats one of the reasons billy corgan is all messed up. why didnt he just put out more zwan records. whats the difference? the bass player wasnt hot enough? she was amazing.

by now he woulda come out with 4-5 pumpkins records and at least two of em woulda been mindblowing.

next up is fascination street. bass pushed back a little. this single first came out on a soundtrack. i cant remember which. i was working at the college radio station at the time. but it was the practice station. it was AM only. and only if you lived on campus. then it went cable, which meant you had to plug the cable into your ass and have someone put a fork in your mouth.

i played that song and a dinosaur jr song and i said anyone listening to this show certainly doesnt deserve this music and truly needs to reevaluate why you have a coax cable up your ass so you can listen to cable college radio when youre about two feet from the pacific ocean and about 5 feet from the most gorgeous coeds this side of maui. this is the new one from the cure on 88.9 FM the juice, uc santa barbara’s kjuc.

the debate about which version of close to me is one id rather not enter. purists are rarely pure. and who wants someone pure making your mixed cds? if i made porns i would use this song. if i made porns i wouldnt ask for rights. rights fuck shit up. is the cure really gonna license close to me to a xxx porno about a lonely bullfighter who only became a bullfighter because he believed you couldnt beat the uniform. he liked bulls too much to fight em and he liked the clothes too much to be a bus driver. everyone told him that you can be a hot lookin bus driver but he insisted that the bus company had their own uniform and nowhere did it include a cape.

six different ways makes you believe that anythings possible in life. fuckers carefree as a little girl on a mountain of pink cotton candy heading over to the blue hill over yonder. if i was in a punk band id speed through this one in about twenty seconds as an encore and rip the bra cup from the bass player and reveal his sunshiney nipple ring.

at some point the dance partys gotta start so its why cant i be you. best use of horns since tsars startime and before that the doors touch me. the doors were on elektra like the cure and i suppose that means the next song should be the cure covering the doors on that elektra records anniversary cd rubyiat where they did a pretty damn good version of hello, i love you.

but no. next comes lovecats. if i had a gay porn id put this in there but im not into gay porn. this is another in the long line of perfect walks around the bass. its pretty much an education. its a sideshow on its own. it wouldnt take over the whole song if it wasnt for those weird bottles and other assorted bizzaro sounds going on.

love song is next. dance partys over. if i pitched baseballs at night against a barn in ohio id want this on the boombox on the tractor seat as the sun set and the gnats swarmed and the corn stalks bent away from the wind. it rained tonight in hell-ay. if i was driving listening to juice newton id dig around the 8 track bag for something that had this song on it. if i died and became a fisher price xylophone playing ghost id haunt your funky ass with this one.

when people talk about 80s music they seriously need to include jumping someone elses train. modern english drumbeats, little splash cymbals, uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and uh-GAIN and somehow these lyrics were deep in the 80s, maybe it was just the fade out.

shit, im depressed now.

memories suck.

lick got 2,000 hits today.

it was a fluke.

im listening to the darkness now. fuck the cure.

three lick girls:

sage + ashly brooke + tina

hi people from the internet searching for

“janet jackson superbowl pictures”.

my name is tony.

i have so many nude janet jackson superbowl pictures.

but i really dont know how i ended up being #5 in the search results of “janet jackson superbowl pictures“.

i also have the superbowl streaker guy though (pictured).

oh wait. i do have janet superbowl pictures.

how did that happen.

hey people of the Internet, look, i have them i have them!

doesnt the whole internet have them by now?

they should.

and weren’t you all watching the game and the halftime?

wasnt it one of the most watched superbowls of all time?

and arent the superbowls the most watched tv programmes of the year?

i dont understand.

lord knows i want to understand, but i dont.

life confuses me.

feel free to explain it to me beyond that 42 business cuz i never got that either

click the janet pics if you want something totally better than this page, written by women anonymously and designed by a hot babe herself.

much love.

tp

the g mask has it all + chokey chicken wrote justin + sara k smith lives in texas and needs to write for lick

why didnt anyone tell me

that the lingerie bowl was live, here in LA at the colleseium? one rapid bus gets me to the damn colleseium!

didnt matter. i had a small get together over at the pad. at first i totally wanted to have a party, then i totally didnt. then when people showed up i was happy again.

all weekend i had procrastinated on Lick and it wasnt even like i had to do that much this weekend. Raspil had done all of the hard stuff and mr. jason sutter fixed a baffling problem that was impossible for ms iverson and i but probably a peice of cake for jason who built this city on rock n roll.

all i had to do was arrange it, fix the links, and move it over from the bluecad site to the lickmag site and do a photo essay introduction.

and just like any college paper or project, i waited until the very last minute to do anything.

i even waited late to ask Raspil for help and thank God Almighty that she not only said yes, but did it quickly and gorgeously.

lick launched with a few minutes to go in the second quarter. i wanted to have time to see how much the lingerie bowl cost, so i paused the super bowl, switched tuners and went over to channel 102 and saw that it was only $20 so we watched that during half time switiching over to the mtv lap dance which the children at the party truly loved.

the nine year old said “it must be hard to yearn for attention in the jackson family” and then ate more of jeanines cake.

jeanine, who hates sports, baked a chocolate cake for the superbowl and brought it over. it was spectacular.

my true love didnt make it

karisa didnt make it

miss montreal was mia.

clipper girl wasnt there.

dylan showed up though and gave me his new EP from his new band Shapes of Race Cars

and jeff whalen came over with his sister and her boyfriend sergio and jeff handed me a flyer.

it appears that Tsar will be playing The Derby next Tuesday, February 10.

the show will be free

and there will be $2 beers.

which makes me think i should consider taking wednesday off.

it’s only 10:30 but im exausted.

sergio was making us all do absinthe shots and im not as young as i used to be.

btw, the lingerie bowl was suprisingly good.

melting dolls + elise + annika

i want to blame the xbi for my internet sloth

but i cant. im a responsible why would i blame someone else when i know im at fault for being a lazy bitch.

today is stephs birthday, shes 23.

happy birthday baby.

ive been calling everyone baby lately. its fun. its like calling frisco frisco. youre not really supposed to do it to anyone youre not fingering but what the hell.

when i read steph (left) ‘s blog i realize just how unmotivated i am. the girl works all night. parties when shes done. then lays out in the sun.

quite a life.

good luck with your pats tomorrow.

even though i hope they go down.

happy birthday baby

knock at the door usually means one thing: a change in plans

snoop dog was on. old school was on. a girl who sorta looked like a younger gabrielle reece if you know who she is had just left behind something smoking in the ashtray and i had just picked it up to see what it was for the odor was seductively curious. i was just about to touch it when a little tap at the front door startled me.

this one looked like an older marisa tomei, but taller. i dont know if ive ever told you this but ive always liked tall girls.

her name was gretchen she lived across the street. little purse little socks tall shoes big hair. her dress sparkled from thousands of sparkley sparklies as she shivered next to my satellite dish.

its funny how sometimes you think a bad date is just that.

she was drunk. hot. sloppy. pale.

someone wrote in one of my posts this week that he didnt believe the story i was telling.

duh.

nothing

real tits

in here

totally shaved

is

pierced nips

true.

woke up this morning still on the couch with her.

got up

pissed

brushed my teeth

took my socks off

gave each of my feet a generous spray of desenex

put two clean white socks on

fixed up some scrambled eggs

stirred a griddle of bacon around

boiled some grits

toast popped up right when i had poured two glasses of apple juice.

turned on the tv

and i hadnt realized that bitch had knocked my dish out of alignment last night when she waited for me to answer the door.

she woke up next to a vase of fresh snapdragons rubbing her good eye and noticing me flipping through the tivo deleting the shows that had only recorded a black screen that said searching for satellite signal for a half hour.

and then i knew who was gonna get the slice of toast that

briefly

had fallen on the kitchen floor.

tiffany + chicha + how appealing

this was an interesting week in blogging

the insta punditgot blogads, the busblog flowed bob moulds blog more hits than usa today’s blog, and the new york times created their first blog.

the times dont call it a blog because they want to be all stuck up n shit, but sure enough they have joined the bandwagon so welcome aboard slackers. better late than never.

worked my ass off today and i was walking home from the subway and i thought about what it would be like to be a pro blogger. and all the way home i thought how it would probably suck cuz nobody would ever let you get away with calling the new york times or cbs or the president of the united states a fucking fuckhead and when all this is said and done, if you truly want to be a great writer

which i would hope a journalist would want to be

i would imagine that you would want to have a body of work to leave behind that people would be able to look at and say yeah and be impressed and want to tell their friends about

as opposed to a collection of middle of the road phil collins lyrics disguised as commentary and being presented as journalism.

i am a one hundred percent believer in Jesus Christ which means i believe we have one life and one death. why would i waste this short journey writing things in ways to please the lowest common denominator.

so many people worry about getting lots of hits and being more and more popular or making money or

forget it.

this blog lets me do everything i want.

yes my real job gets in the way from writing you but that might change

you know what a lot of guys do when they decide to quit the xbi?

they teach highschool.

this week also meant an end of 5ilver.net, after 4 years mindy has retired one of my favorite blogs

thankfully she started a new site: voxura

buzzmachine + wonkette + morland

lets talk a minute about teamwork

lets talk about gifted fucks. lets talk about how kickass Lick is about to reveal itself as being.

superbowl sunday my friends. during halftime. you will see writing like you havent seen before on tonypierce.com, you will see graphics and design that blow this shit away. and you will see a classy style that takes sex drugs and rock to a new level.

and if i were to give the game ball out to one person Before the game even started i would have to give it to ms. raspil iverson of salt lake city utah who stepped up to the plate called her shot and not only hit the scoreboard but knocked the damn thing over.

then ran around the bases backwards like my man jimmy piersall.

she kicked so much ass that it is hard for me to take any credit whatsoever in Lick but i suppose if it wasnt for my idea and my vision and the fact that i attracted all these great writers to talk about some of their deepest darkest secrets it wouldnta happened.

but thats almost like giving christopher columbus credit for discovering amerikkka.

none of these writers needed to be discovered. and ms iverson definitely didnt need to be discoverd and if she did i will lose her to some big time website before the probowl kicks off, and thats fine with me.

i think you kids will like what you see at halftime on lickmagazine.com

and the cool part is…

it’s just the begining

prepare to see Lick updated once a week, prepare to see a daily updated group blog, prepare to see something that takes this medium to a new direction of revelation creativity and intrigue.

prepare to be impressed by the women of the web and their wonders.

ms. raspil iverson cheif director of style, lick magazine

mr. oswald undertone, president of hosting services, networking, and class

lick behind the scenes bloggy

papa jeffrey solomon, technical consultant, cheif sultan, diaper changer