theres things that bring me joy,

theres things that bring me great joy

the other day i saw something stupid

the other day i saw true beauty

sometimes the weirdest wonderful things occur

sometimes i wonder why we bother

this pretty girl noticed me

this fucked up shit went down

often im inspired in the oddest way

and sometimes

even when the holy ghost himself

floats down from whereever he’s been watching

and whispers in my ear

tony

yo tony

dude bro!

i dont even hear

because im so obsessed with the noise of the mediocre

im so in tune with the fake

im keeping up with the wrong kardashians

im paying the wrong piper

as prince bowie and lemmy showed us there is an expiration date on our milk

we need to drink it all in, we need to begin the beguine, we need to follow the honey, we need to combat rock

we need to fish in the deep waters

we need to do what hasnt been done

we need to stop fighting the sun

we need to stop fighting

the son

we need to

if it seems like i go to the dentist a lot it’s because i do go to the dentist a lot.

like michael anthony hall in sixteen candles, fresh breath is key to my life.

i also have bleeding gums like bleeding gums murphy

an old xbi ailment when then used to punch us in the face repeatedly so as to see if we really could not feel any more pain.

the only pain i feel these days is in my soul.

i look back at the things i did or said and i think was that the right choice?

did i do the right things?

should i have?

shouldnt i have?

i dont read old busblog posts because they can haunt me

for whole minutes.

i dont even like to be haunted for seconds.

i like to enjoy this little breath of time that we have together on this magical planet.

i like to feel love and be loved and eat and taste and dance the body electric.

i dont have time for the flim flam pajama waltz of times gone by

theres a reason they went by.

now is the time of the zip zap.

today is the day we should be on jet packs.

the only reason we aint is because we dont believe we can.

and some dont believe we deserve it.

you deserve it sweet souls of today

we all have earned the good

simply by being

children of the creator

mirrors of his soul

light of his life

defenders of the boogie.

now open up and say fuck yeah

sometimes you dont

sometimes everything you say they get it truly and go same same same

sometimes you just want them to shhhh cuz uhhh

then sometimes what was once incredible and necessary and required, fades

retreats

retires.

and never comes back

not even in the still silence of a desert sunset

not even on a bet.

sometimes when things arent connecting you dont even wanna look at them

because for sure theyll be able to read it all over your face

theyll read your mind or worse

and sometimes when things are, you wanna hug em good bye like an old friend whos about to go off on a cruise around the world

and further.

sometimes life doesnt feel like a graphic novel at all.

it feels like a jello shot festival.

writers poets

rockers

tourists

what happened to that

this used to be that

i

at what age will i return

when will i let it

everyones crazy

why cant i

when you drive a lot

you see how little some people

care

theyre on their phones texting

theyre running red lights

theyre doing their makeup and eating

kids

how does anyone drive with kids

in there

thats probably the scariest combo of all

and yet im nervous about

keeping it real

or even worse

letting the imagination just flow

on nothing in here is true

boo

but i like driving. i like hitting goals. i like doing things people dont think i can do.

i dont mind being exhausted. when you’re sore you know you broke through something.

when youre beat you know you stretched as a person.

i always want to be stretching as a person. when we die we stop stretching.

when i go to heaven i want to go to the bar and i want to have a story to two to share with the fellas. they’re gonna be from all these fancy planets that i aint never heard of and i want to listen to their tales and drink and drink and

i wanna be able to tell them what it was like here and what some of the crazy people did and said and i want to represent. i want them to say Earth was ok, sorry y’all blew it up.

and i wanna say Earth is inside each and every one of us

and i want one of them to say in a stuck up way, Earth isnt in me

and i wanna stick my tongue in one of their orifices and say now it is.

which would be gross anywhere but Heaven

which is why we should all do our best to get there.

amen

remember that one creepy cat in that hospital who knew when people were dying? it would go into the rooms and chill with the people and a few days later they would croak.

my boy cat Prince has been so nice, he normally doesnt cuddle, he normally sleeps at the foot of my bed. lately he has been right next to me when i wake up and right now hes in my lap as i blog.

i feel healthy? i dont sense any cancer? i just got a check up and it checked out.

if i am about to die, i loved you all, i feel blessed. i had a full life. i had good friends, cool jobs, and a parade of the most interesting women a mild mannered man could have.

if only id lived long enough to have seen the Cubs win it all.

sigh.

i saw the first black president pull it off in spite of unprecedented cock blocking.

i watched the rise of the Internet and the demise of boredom.

i was able to publish my stupidest thoughts to millions of people and have so many of them right back and say right on tony.

i was able to be a fake taxi driver, which is something i always wanted to do.

i got to move to LA as a teen and learn it and live in it and love it and write for various newspapers and tell its story. trust me when i tell you, i never thought i was gonna be allowed to do even a smidge of that and voila.

i got to self publish a couple of my own books which is the essence of freedom. and i loved them. and i am sad that Cafe Press pulled the plug on that feature before telling me or else i would have printed up a hundred more of stiff and how to blog. sorry charlies.

i got to see my friends have beautiful babies and make kick ass rock n roll. i got to see sooooo much kick ass rock n roll.

i got to walk the red carpet a few times and even get paid for it. how does that even happen?

so if this cat is right and i only have a few hours to live, dont cry for me isla vista, it’s been a far better life than a boy from bumfuck illinois could have ever dreamed of

whats this tuna fish doing in my pocket?

we need it to be creative

lights need darks so you can see them

dali knows this

i know this

but i avoid the dark

i only indulge when i shouldnt

in those instances i should be seeking out

the light

life is balance

the auto balance is broken

learn the manual

life is mixtures

life is fissures

life is grand finales

i never thought id see the end of rock n roll

and yet

if it was a river i havent seen any new big fish in quite a while

maybe we need this darkness

maybe this is the friction

maybe this is the part where everything gets crazy (as a reaction to the chill) and it’s the stuff that will make yr mustache curl

we dont have to just sit there

waiting for our chance to run.

waiting on the benz to slow down over the speed bump

or worse, looking at trees but thinking about a bowl of wet food by the garage door.

the world is our fire hydrant.

there are so many strange butts to sniff

grass to roll around in

full moons to yap at

squirrels to chase

balls to fetch

trucks to get smooshed by

holes to tunnel down

sticks to break

walls to stain

nuts to lick

and babes who wanna pet us.

aint no reason to sit there and watch the world go by because like all those famous ppl sang

we are the world

we are the children

we are the ones playing with julio down by the school yard.

theres no extras in this game called life.

so get ready

cuz thats another speed bump ahead

often the best moments are before the network cameras get turned on.

rock your life.

keep inspiring everyone around you

even if it doesnt seem like anyones around you.

we’re all around you.

waiting to be inspired.

imagine if you were able to teach your dog how to do morse code

and at first you think he got lucky

but then you realize he really knows what hes saying

when he taps on the floor,

Alpo is disgusting. i thought you loved me.

for all we know, our words, our tweets, our blog posts

our songs

are all being broadcast to ends of the universe.

and who knows, maybe something will leak out

to someone far far far far far away.

and they’ll say to their friend,

i heard the weirdest thing last night

through the buzz and static and nonsense

i could have sworn i heard someone say

we are all africans.

so i researched africa

and it’s this giant continent

on a planet called earth

in the milky way galaxy.

turns out, africa is hugely influential on the planet

it’s where a good deal of its most popular music is derived from

an ungodly amount of exotic plants, animals and minerals,

but ironically one of the least powerful

and poor

places on the entire globe.

and do you know why?

neither do they.

well let’s help them, the one says to the other.

i was thinking the same thing, the other says to the one.

but should we? should more advanced creatures

“help”

others, simply because they seem interesting and deserving?

shouldnt they figure it out on their own?

what if they never figure it out, asked the one.

they will, eventually, the other told the one, but what a waste of time struggling to get there.

imagine what they could have done with that time if they had known.

and selfishly, imagine what they could contribute to us.

and a sound unlike one they had never heard before whispered.

we should do it said the one.

it is done said the other.