just saved this lady and this man

had some help from my partner. didnt even scuff my shoes it was so easy and she was being wheeled away to the abulance. her man was still in shock not saying a word.

she said to me and my partner that we were her heroes.

i just smiled and told her that it was all a work of God and she started crying.

i dont say that sort of stuff to people who dont wear crucifixes. im not a dick.

me and him were flying back to the office and i started thinking about heroes and how we dont even really pick our heroes any more. theyre presented to us in a lineup of fakers and the good ones stand out and we want to identify with them but lots of times we’re too young or dumb or freaked out to know any better and sometimes we just want them to live up to that superman rating we give them even though we know deep down that its probably pretty impossible do maintain.

i thought it was an easy deal but my partner kept asking me how many times ive been called a hero out on the field. and i said lots. and he said him too. i said how many times in the office and he said none. i said once.

he said by who?

i said by the captain.

he said, youre shitting me.

i said, really, once i saw his phone was ringing so i picked it up and it was his wife and she was frantically looking for him and i said that he was just getting back from Subway and he’d call her as soon as he got back.

my partner asked, “where was he?”

i said, where do you think he was.

he said, “oh.”

so cap came back a few minutes later and i said, i think your cell phone is off, he said, what makes you think that, i said, because your wife called and i picked up and told her that you were getting us sandwiches.

and the cap turned red and looked at his cell phone, and indeed he had forgotten to turn it back on.

and he said, “sonny, youre my hero.” he sounded like a little kid.

my partner laughed.

i said, yeah but the funny part was when he told his wife he just got back from Togo’s and she said, “i thought you went out to Subway”?

“that dude is such an ass,” my partner said.

“he’s just making due with what he’s got,” i said.

“look at all those pools,” my partner said.

and there were a lot of them down there.

and none were ours.

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