today is world AIDS day

40 million people have AIDS.

nobody cares.

no one really changes how they live. the rich dont think that it’ll happen to them, and the poor think they have nothing to lose.

certain churches tell their parishioners not to wear condoms and those ministers should be burned at the stake.

today metafilter has completely redesigned their page and are only allowing topics that are AIDS-related.

right on, metafilter. but even youre smart enough to know that we’re all doomed.

the rich white investor would much rather support breakthroughs like Viagra and Rogaine and cloning themselves than AIDS research and education and prevention like free condoms in your phone bill, etc. but i dont blame them entirely. or the republicans, or the president who seriously doesnt give a fuck even though his wild alcoholic daughters are prime targets for the kiss of death.

twenty one, drunk, loose and crazy? beware the bush twins.

shit, beware everyone. call me paranoid all you want, im not going down like that, and tell me the planet wouldnt be a better place if everyone thought like that.

on second thought, keep it to yourself, keep it all to yourself.

keep your germs and viruses and reckless behavoirs to your own self.

practice safe sex they say. practice makes perfect.

bang everyone in the residence halls if you want and use a condom every time. thats practice.

then when you have a long term relationship, still use a condom.

ashley’s twenty years old. pure as the driven snow. has not been around the block. has been tested recently. still we use condoms every single time and she is a satisfied girl, let me tell you. so much so that she tells her friends.

what i wish she was telling her friends was that we’ve never had unsafe sex ever.

and after each practice session she lays there with goosebumps

and hair standing on end


heart beating


and safe,



havent had any rum in two weeks

and all it’s doing is letting the dreams seep through while im at my most vulnerable.

did i say dreams?

nightmares were more like it.

went to the printer to pick up the books. hi, tony pierce, i have an order.

when did you place the order?

about three weeks ago?

oh yes, mr. pierce. we cannot print this book. it’s obscene.

pardon me?

we dont print obscenity or pornography or anti-american sentiment.

exactly what part of my book is obscene?

several parts, if i recall.

tell me which ones and i’ll take it out.

mr. pierce, we are not editors, we are publishers.

youre fucking assholes is what you are! you just didnt want to do the work.

see, thats profanity.

youre out of your mind.

please exit our place of business, here is your manuscript.

so youre saying you wouldnt print the Catcher in the Rye?

of course we would.

it has lots of Fucks in it.

no it doesnt.

it certainly does!

well, thats art, its different.

next riot, im coming here and burning this place down. i dont care if im in maui. im getting on a plane and burning this place down.

good. we have plenty of insurance, and now we have a prime suspect. good bye.

then i found myself in france and they too were debating as to whether it was obscene.

oui, they kept saying.

mais oui.


friday night me and ashley went to see no doubt

ashley no doubt rock steadythey were really incredible.

about an hour before the show she and i broke up for the tenth and final time. only in my world could you break up with me and then go to a concert, dance close for two hours, and then get taken home and get a nice kiss goodnight and go to sleep alone.

it was a long drive from irvine to hollywood in the wee hours and even though it was nice to borrow chris’s car, i had forgotten how miserable it is to drive at night when you’d rather be sleeping.

somewhere on the 710 freeway my cell phone rang and it was anna calling.

what are you doing? she asked.

being sad, i said.

why are you sad?

cuz i probably wont be with ashley in that superclose way any more.

anna changed the subject real fast like. she hates sad stories.

she told me about this movie she saw at the art house, about how great her thanksgiving was, how much she ate, about how pretty the skies were over miami that night.

when are you going to visit me, tony?


stop that, i’ll send you a plane ticket.

no thanks.

i was thinking how i might have to take a little respite from girls for a little while and just work on reading the good book, or writing some bad books, or something. 2002 i had more than my fair share of amazing women. probably more than in any other year of my life.

and here i am at the tail end of it and what have i learned?

lust is blind.

women are kind.

control is an illusion.

laughing is the best foreplay.

bodies are just bodies, the most important thing is heart.

sex is overrated.

good sex is underrated.

great sex cannot be created, it’s magic sent down from above like a rainstorm when you least expect it.

likewise, true love can’t be found, it creeps up on you like a theif in the night.

anna didnt want to hear any of this because in truth we had never done it.

she did a few things on the phone one night but it might have been my imagination.

ive got a pretty good imagination.

still, i think she was doing something.

that night i said, what are you doing?

she said, nothing.

i said, put the phone down there, i think youre doing something.

she said, shuttup.

last night at the show there were girls of all ages but the prettiest one, next to my date, was ms. gwen stefani who is probably the most beautiful woman to ever take the stage and rock the mic. she was gorgeous and glamorus and naughty and foul mouthed and pretty much everything you could imagine.

if it wasnt for ashley i would have just written off that band as a nothing pop band for kids, but no doubt last night at the long beach arena were intense, excellent, and sexy.

definately magic was happening on that stage.

and this afternoon as my ears were still ringing, i looked at my little polaroid of ashley and touched it and thanked her for turning me on to them.