i was in hell. i was dead.

i had done well as a santa claus and then word got out that i was a writer when i was alive. so i got a new assignment.

before i knew it i had shrunk to the size of a gnat.

and then i got shrunk to half that size.

and then they turned me invisible.

and then they put me into the ear wax of a college girl.

and this is what they made me whisper.

youre no good.

youre too fat

youre too ugly

theres a thousand girls prettier than you

your boobs are too small

your zits are too big

youre not smart enough

you dont look good in your clothes

your scars show in your pictures

your daddy was right

you fuck weird when you fuck

nobody likes you

your friends only like you for your money.

you need to stop lying about having money.

you’re such a liar.

your car is going to die on you any day.

not even the lesbians want you.

youre going to be homeless soon.

you’ll never get married.

your sisters are so much cooler than you.

i had to do that all day.

i didnt want to do it but something inside me was making me do it.

the devil was making me do it.

i wanted to cry, but i couldnt.

arizona jailbait

hi kids

kurt kobain here filling in for tony while he’s in h-e- double hockey sticks.

me and some of the angels took a little tour of southern cal yesterday to whip up a little photo essay love for your deserving butts.

then we got some of the cam girls together to show us what’s what.

enjoy, rejoice, be merry.

Blook sales were really good over Christmas. odd, since the author has been dead for a little while and since theres been very little advertising. there might be 5 more left for sale, so if you want it go get it. i doubt there will be a second printing.

happy holidays.

feel free to use the comments to send any wishes to Tony that you might have.

i plan on seeing him soon and i will print them out and hand them to him personally.

your pal,