hi henry kissinger

hi tony pierce. nice to meet you. i’ve heard a lot about you.

hi. yes i have heard a lot about you too.

i heard that you helped the president’s image.

well the checks don’t bounce. haha. i heard that you sabotaged the paris negotiations to end the vietnam war in ’68.

omg, why would i sabotage those negations?

it was an election year, you are accused of telling the south vietnamese that if they didn’t pull out until after the election, that the republicans would be nicer to them than the dems.

total bullshit. how old were you in ’68? were you even born then?

yes, i was alive then. how do you like being called Manhattan’s Milosevic?

it hurts my feelings. sometimes it makes me cry because i strive to be liked by everyone, especially the village voice. i think that’s why the president has chosen me to head the investigation of 9/11, so that i can prove to everyone that i really do love this country and i can go out on a positive note.

maybe the president wants you to cover up something.

what would i cover up?

the biggest fuck up in american history.

9/11 wasn’t the biggest fuck up in american history.

what was then?


was that because you weren’t able to cover it up all that well?

why are you being so mean to me?

did you give arms to Pakistani General Yahya Khan in ’71 so he could kill hundreds of thousands of civilians and take over the democratically-elected government?

Kahn used delicacy and tact.

why did you help the CIA overthrow the democratically-elected government of Salvador Allende and install the murderous military dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet and send him fighter planes?

we were fighting communism. you don’t see any communism any more do you?



Your firm, Kissinger Associates has employed several former presidents including George Bush’s dad, George. And you try to broker deals between oil companies and the saudi families including the royal saudi family.


so, doesn’t it concern you that 15 of the 19 terrorists behind 9/11 were saudi? as is bin laden?

why would that concern me?

because if the truth behind 9/11 is that it was financed by major people of Saudi Arabia perhaps people who you know and who the bush family have known for years, why would you kill the goldenest goose of them all, your clients and business partners? wouldn’t this put you in a position of conflict of interest?

no one is going to kill any geese.

that’s what we’re afraid of. we’re afraid that Bush knew about 9/11 before it happened. it was a Bush/GOP fuck up, and you’re now going to cover it up right before our eyes.

that’s insane, yo stupid. you should sleep late, man, its much easier on your constitution.

so youre going to find out everything about 9/11 and tell us all about it.


why don’t i believe you?

cuz you think everything george bush does is somehow evil.

or stupid.

yeah, or stupid. but check it. if appointing me was such a bad idea, how come welch didn’t write anything about it?

cuz even welch knows that bush will be allowed to get away with murder in anything that he does. it’s always a free ride when it comes to anyone whose name is george bush. so i think instead of fighting or being all up in arms he’d rather fight paper tigers like the LA Times and write about sports. plus he’s got a pretty wife. maybe he just wants to kiss her a bunch instead of writing about this, which is so easy that even i can write about it.

she is pretty, isn’t she.


robert scheer

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