hi canada

whats going on?

just watching the lakers lose and thinking of you.

are the girls in canada beautiful as the internet would have us believe?

is it true that youre about to legalize marijuana just for me?

i dont really smoke marijuana, but thank you, youre sweet.

canada, is it true you dont have the nfl?

is it true that its warmer up there than everyone thinks. that everyone wears fur coats and noone stinks.

is it true that lots of the hot chicks speak french and that kurdt kobain used to go up there to chill out.

its not as warm in la as the brochure makes it look.

and weed isnt legal, its sixty an eighth which makes me happy that i dont smoke it.

and we dont have the nfl either.

canada, is it true that you have socialized medicine, clean air, and its ok to have a pirated directv dish so you can get every channel on earth?

i think im falling in love with you.

c’est d’accord?

i know magazines cost more and cigarrettes do too, but i dont smoke cigarrettes either.

smokes should cost more. they’ll kill ya.

weed just makes you laugh.

and eat.

everything in the house.

and drink so much diet pepsi its wrong.

canada is it true that you want to make a new las vegas up there?

its not true?

hmmm, well, do you wanna?

canada, do you think one of your newspapers might hire me?

i’ll do anything.

i <3 canada + david murray is an idiot + canada, can i bring kristin?

since i started this blog in the late ’50s

hundreds of you have chosen to link me. many because of my anna kournikova coverage. some for the witty political insights. some just for the free porn.

like the children that i have sired, im not afraid to choose favorites.

one of my favorite linkers is the Snoop Doggy Blog. i dont know who this person is, i dont know how they found me, and im not terribly interested in finding out. im just happy to be on the best Snoop Dogg web site. much love to my homie from the LBC.

and Snoop, because i know youre down with her, Anna K. will be starting her comeback tonight, cinco de beer-o down in hotlanta georgia in the $25,000 Pinto Open. or something like that.

another one of my favorite spots to see a link to my name is on the Instapundit’s site. i dont know who the instapundit is – oh wait, yes i do – and he hardly ever talks about me, but theres my name on the left hand side just like i am someone special. ahhh, luxury.

then of course theres Ev’s site. ev created the software that we now call Blogger. how cool is it to be linked on his page? check that, he took down all his links. die yuppie pig.

just joshing. theres plenty of googlebloggers out there who link to me and that makes up for it. i especially like being linked by jason sutter, a googler blogger because he has the nads to use moveable type.

i like being linked by writers who write way better than me, like soundbitten, big time movers and shakers like doc searls and jeff jarvis, sexy writers like the Adultress and the Reverse Cowgirl, and sports freaks like the baseball blog and classy mofos like riley dog, none of which makes any sense to me.

and then theres all the hot girls around the planet who link to the busblog.

too many to talk about here.

far too many.

but right now im liking the fact that bing is reading this #1 cuz shes from toronto and lots of good things come from toronto #2 cuz shes asian, and asian girls own me, and #3 cuz she asked me not to link her for idealistic reasons, and i think thats cute.

im also liking that Laura has me (near) at the top of her list because i used to read her thing like years ago, and its cool that she is reading my thing now despite the fact that we’ve never even exchanged even one email.

but perhaps my favorite hot chick website link of the day has got to be from krix at keanuvision who might just be the most excited person in the galaxy since her boy will be starring in the most highly anticipated sequel since empire strikes back.

thanks to everyone who sends people to this dumb page, i will thank more of you next time.

karisas birthday was a smashing success

the annual sausage party went off without a hitch, the landlord was grumpy but didnt evict anyone, the neighbor down below made a bunch of noise and answered her doorbell in her lingerie but didnt call the cops, pink dot arrived after several hours and only charged us $30 for two cases of corona instead of $40

and even though there was plenty of nudity most of it came from my ass.

there are tons of pictures but most of them are blurry and drunken and sloppy and happy so use your imagination, it was a party of k*s work friends and friend friends and i got lots of stains on my cords to prove that a good time was had by all.

i like birthdays when the guest of honor isnt afraid to ask for everything that they want. karisa is a carnivore like no other. this girl eats more steaks than you would believe.

so around 9pm when everyone had gathered it became obvious that the macaroni salad and guacamole and homemade birthday cake just wasnt going to do the trick, so i was sent out with karisas hot roommate to the store to get a dozen or so steaks, charcoal, and beer.

we returned, i started the grill poolside and in the dark i made mostly medium-rare steaks for everyone with nothing more than some small tongs and a bottle of A-1. because the ladies didnt have a large assortment of steak knives, several of us resorted to cutting our t-bones with huge butcher knives. it was quite fun. i recommend it.

a handsome hawaiian neighbor arrived with his little dog and made the girls stand up and pay attention due to his striking resemblance to keanu reeves, and none of them noticed when his little mutt did his business by the hot tub.

after our meal we adjurned to the apartment and played a variety of dice and card games. the purpose of the sport apparently was to get all of us as drunken as possible before our drives home. since i had no car, i didnt hold back one bit. first i had mexican beer, then i had light beer, then i had some shots of vanilla rum, then i uncorked the wine, then back to beer, then a shot of some other good stuff.

karisa’s favorite card drinking game is called Allen. since it was her birthday we played a few rounds of that leaving everyone rosy cheeked and laughing.

the cake was delicious as was the evening and i am so happy that i was invited, so thank you karisa for having me over, any time you turn 80 again, please look me up.

standing room only + bukkake does britan + nevada ken