hi lebron james

whaddup money.

who you calling money? i heard you just got a deal with Nike.

heard right, g.

how much are they giving you?

$90 mil.

$90 million?

$90 million.

how many nba games have you played?


how much are they paying you again?



$90 mil, bro.

for what?

cuz kids are going to buy my shoes, blogger boy.

$90 million worth?

well, and my jersey, and my sweat pants, and my wrist pads, and my mouth guard.

why would they want your mouth gaurd, thats gross.

no, not my mouth gaurd, a never before used mouth gaurd that has my name on it and a little swoosh next to it.

i used to think i was the luckiest man in the world. but once again im mistaken.

to be honest, im not going to be getting all of that in one lump sum.

what are they going to spread it out over 90 million years or some shit?

wow, i dont know. i better ask.

how much will your shoes sell for?

i dont know, probably $150.

$150 million?

no, just $150.

do you think a million people will buy your shoes?

no, but maybe a half million kids will buy my shoes.

but that doesnt add up to $90 million.

thats where the toof gaurd comes in. and the sweat pants. and the cologne and shit. basketballs. active wear. sweatbands. shit, i dont know.

lebron, dont you think it’s weird that the people who will be making your $150 shoes wont even make $150 the entire week of making your shoes, and you’ll be making $150 a dribble?

i think everythings weird, g. it’s not my place to think. it’s my place to put the rock in the hole.

thats a pretty good answer for a highschooler.

im not a highschooler any more. im an industry. get used to it.

it might be hard for me to get used to it.

just do it.

kieran + flingus + aint no bad dude

hi miss china

hi tony pierce.

i want you, miss china.

i want you too, tony pierce.

what are you going to do if you win miss universe, miss china.

im going to wrap my arms around you, tony pierce, and give you a big juicy kiss.

are you a good kisser, miss china?

thats what my girlfriend tells me.

well, hmmm, well, i didnt know.

you didnt ask.

but you would kiss me?

mmmm definately.

what else would you do if you got miss universe?

travel around and spend money.

you wouldnt help promote world peace?

people with guns and bombs dont listen to beauty queens, tony.

maybe they would if you kissed them first.

fine, i’ll kiss people with guns and bombs then.

are you a good cook, miss china?

yes i am as a matter of fact.

whats the dish that you like to cook the most?

probably waffles.

theyve got waffles in china?

we’ve got lots of things in china that you wouldnt expect.

yeah, like what?

like the new Tsar record.

but it hasnt been recorded yet.

yes it has, it just hasnt been mixed yet, sillyhead.

so you have the new Tsar record, unmixed?

yep, it’s great, comes free with Windows XTP.

what’s Windows XTP?

the second version of Windows XP.

whats the T stand for?


you’re pretty hot, miss china.

you’re not so bad yourself, tony.

you know im not a judge, right.

youre not a judge?


then what are you?

im just a blogger.




so does this mean the interview is over?

pretty much.

can i have your number then?

sure, just answer one of my questions.


whats my name?

no fair asking hard questions, miss china.

rishi + encantada + that broken girl