dear flagrant disregard

i know the little game youre playing. it’s cool. i know you said you were too shy to go to the tsar show the other night. but i saw you in the back.

rocking. drinking. stalking.


oh yes, that was you. hot chick with the chucks bobbing your head to “you and jim” headbanging at the bar to the new tunes.

i write you, you dont write me back, i talk about you, you dont talk about me back, i lurve you, you are repulsed by me, not the only thing that we have in common by the way.

i know you like the rock music, model girl. i know you would rather listen to something other than the pretty boy depeche and moz dones.

i know you want to have your mind blown by the dual guitar attack, the cowbell, and a long haired solomon on axe.

word on the street is this saturday, at spaceland, tsar, will play, pretty much just for you, cuz you were in the back. follow the light. follow the hype.

this is what the cool kids are going to do. everyones going to the archlight to see the matrix. then theyre going to go to my house for beer bongs.

then to spaceland to get their socks rocked.

then to your house in encino for the after party.

then we’ll wake and bake and gorge at ihop cuz i know its your favorite.


your number three fan

p.s. if you want to, you can email me at and tell me that you secretly lust me, that you’re just way too shy to say so.


p.p.s. i like your new blog.

p.p.p.s. i want to travel with you one day

because i want to stoke my girl krix

i have forwarded some of the mail that i normally get to her boyfriend keanu reeves.

so today we present to you Ask Keanu.

Dear Keanu,

Does size matter?

Ah, the eternal question. I have learned quite a few things with my dealings with the fairer sex. Women, that is, and from that experience I have good news and bad news in regards to this inquiry.

The good news is: women are crazy.

It’s good because if a woman likes you, she won’t care what your penis is shaped like, how big it is, or how little it is. I have some teeney-dicked friends, some of which you have seen on stage and screen. They have some incredible girlfriends and wives who make “little” jokes but have stood by their men loyally as if everything was fine. I also have some friends with very odd-shaped units and their girlfriends learned how to use them to their advantage.

Love overcomes all things is what I learned. And it helps that women are crazy.

Following this theme, the bad news is, sadly, that women are crazy.

Me, I have a marvelous body, I’m rich, I’m popular, I know how to do it well, I know how to show a woman a good time, I have no terrible deformities, I even play in a rock band. And still I get turned down for casual sex nearly every day. Suxor!

Dear Keanu,

I went out with a girl the other night and she had talked about how much she loves sex and how she thinks about it all the time and the whole date I was thinking, I’ve got it made. Then the girl wouldn’t even let me give her a good night kiss. What gives? What should I do? It went down a week ago and I can’t stop thinking about it.

You’re definately doing the right thing by obsessing over it. I suggest that you over-analyze everything that you did on that date, think mean things about the young lady, and stare at the mirror and pick at your zits.

You might also join a gym.

Dear Keanu,

Why does music suck so bad nowadays?

When I filmed “Little Buddah” I learned alot about the yin-yang of life. In music the yin yang revolves around the relationship of good Black music and good Rock music.

In the early 90s the hip hop scene was ripe and creative. You had the Beastie Boys, Cypress Hill and De La Soul. You also had Grunge. Even AC/DC and Metalica had huge, great records. The end result was an amalgom of great music for every genre.

Hip hop today is stagnant. Only Eminem is worth listening to and that record is 8 months old. 50 Cent? are you kidding me?

And rock is horrible, so the mixture therefore is even worse.

Look no further than AudioSlave which on paper is wonderful, but where it counts, on vinyl is watered down bullshit that only kids and soccer moms would enjoy.

My prediction is we will go through a few more years of horrible music to be followed by a wonderful resurgence in the Indie scene probably spearheaded by Tsar’s third cd which I predict will be a concept album based loosely on the Rush epic “The Trees”.

See you at the box office,


krix + gweilo is (currently) sars-free + more

hi america, canada, europe, isla vista, and all our ships at sea

one of the interns is gearing up for the matrix screening tomorrow at midnight by playing the soundtack from the original. manson, then propellorheads. quite a way to greet the morining: with brass knuckles.

had a date last night.

hot chick, couldnta been more than 24-25. gorgeous eyes. color of suede on a rainstorm at midnight with a full moon in a black and white movie.

she was all over me. finally. god its been a long time. to feel the curve of the small of a woman’s back. to feel her hips pushing closer to mine. soft skin below the ear lobe. stinky breath of cloves. to reach underneath and nearly snap the thin g string.

tanned everything. bloodshot eyes from smoking and drinking on a monday night. i know im not worthy to receive anything, but only say the word and i will be– this girl likes to scratch. i totally forgot about that. and here i am a sensitive poet. she likes to bite too. she likes to slap. i look like i lost a street fight. i look like i got thrown in a sack with a thousand cats. i look like hell, but i guess thats nothing new.

all my move-making music is in winamp, but as you probably know all that is on a computer full of viruses, so we had to do things the old fashioned way, compact discs. that meant getting up and changing things every 45 minutes. you know youre doing ok if you make your way through four cds before throwing in the towel.

in the morning she was gone, but left behind a sweet note telling me that it was better than she remembered and any time i wanted to invite her over again she’d say yes.

some girls just know how to live.

fucking love that.

rolled into work nearly on time this morning and read the comments that you all left. god i love you all.

why are you so good to me?

normally i would have read them all minutes after you posted them because i am glued to my computer most nights, doing dumb things like sex chatting college girls in manitoba or making lopsided trades for fantasy baseball, or trying to write poems, or trying to arrange the thousands of photographs that ive taken in the last month, or trying to design a good web page, or trying to write something of interest, or trying or trying or trying, and yoda was right, trying takes up all your time, its the doing that we need to do more of.

to do, to be, to get done, to do, i do, i be, i am because i was done, so far from done, so far from it, so far so bad, so bad so good.

the approval that women can give is unbelievable. i wish you girls knew even what a smile could do. not to mention a whisper.

or a french kiss on an italian fender on a los feliz corner

in america.

sepi + uppity negro + all about george