like your typical american,

i forgot that the rest of the globe didnt have today off, so i was suprised to see bling write about going to work this morning.

its so funny every morning when i wake up and take the subway and then the bus i want to keep riding to the beach and these last mornings some one has wanted to wake and bake my ass and then they leave before noon and youd think that would be the perfect launch to get on the bus and just ride it like me and chris used to do up in frisco, but no.

ive been taking naps, accepting phone calls, fixing up grits and bacon and eggs, watching hbo, did all the dishes, emptied my pockets of all my riches, tempted but didnt call any bitches.

made an offensive photo essay if you read it the wrong way.

at least i didnt call anyone gay.

you know what ive learned watching all this tv this weekend, theres not a lot on tv. i saw this thing on national geographic about inside the Pentagon, it gave me a nice afternoon nap. woke up to some dumbass on mtv. why isnt ed and dre back on yo mtv raps? who are we kidding?

right now i want to have a hot tub and i want to invite someone over. i dont care who. someone fun.

i want there to be sparklers around the hot tub. i want there to be good music playing from inside the house. i want all the neighbors to say whos that fool think he is in that hot tub with those goofy swim trunks.

karisa was going to have a little pool party today but decided she wanted to run like a taurus through the hollywood hills and if i was chasing her i would pick up running but thankfully shes the wrong sign and i could just lay on the leather and flip through whatever.

after the hot tub i would go to my midnight recording studio and summon the ghost of bob dylan and i would have him record that 50 cent single, the first one. it worked for johnny cash.

then id make springsteen take the bus over here and together we would put together a nebraska part two cuz nebraska part one is over 20 years old if you can believe that cuz born in the usa was ’84 and we dont need another born in the usa but we definately need another nebraska.

two weeks with the boss and i swear to you there would be another nebraska. we would just write the busses. maybe a limo to get it all out, but ride the streets boss. tell me about this family’s life, tell me about this mans job, tell me about that kids future. look into the palm of the hand of the everyman and rhyme and blow that harp and make me cry this time cuz i didnt even bother with that last one.

i would tell bruce that he doesnt have a nebraska in him. i would tell him that neil young wipes his ass and out comes a nebraska. i would tell him that dylan could write one on a ukelele and if he told me to fuck off id say fuck off yourself anyone can write born to run when theyre young, write a nebraska cuz i ask ya.

tenorman + riley dog + accordian guy

had some people over yesterday.

didnt plan it that way but there were these austrailian hitchhikers that i met at the vons. three of them got their paths crossed with some dirty acid.

i have a soft spot for travelers since ive travelled here and there on occassion and i know how vulnerable you can be.

took them to the castle, sat em on the couch, turned on the slow jams, talked about elvis.

doesnt matter what country youre from, your age, your political disposition, race, height, youre going to have an opinion about the king of rock and roll, especially if im leading the proceedings.

the girls thought that elvis was just ok but me and the fella were on the side of theres only one king, and there will only be one.

then we flipped on the tv looking for elvis movies but instead we stopped at the womens college softball world series.

now, i have a big tv.

thirty five inch (diagonal) picture tube made in japan by the mistubishi company. sold to me by two gay guys who complained that it was too big.

and i had successfully mellowed out these four attractive australian girls by talking about elvis presley and allowing them the freedom to smoke their marijuana. yes i know it is illegal, but i thought i would turn a blind eye since they are foreigners and in very bad shape.

and then we saw berkeley bear first baseman veronica nelson on my glorious television.

and then we saw veronica nelson smack a home run

in the college world series

live from oklahoma city, where i am sure mad pony kristin was in attendence cuz she is perfect in nearly every other way.

and i turned to my guests and they were in tears.

it was a beautiful site. these people didnt really even know the rules of baseball, but they understood the triumph of the moment.

or they were laughing at her.

it was hard to tell.

it appeared that i had gotten a contact high.

so with my mind racing i made a big ass photo essay, for your asses.