whaddup bro

hi dennis rodman!

bro, how come you didnt come to my wedding yesterday?

shit, worm, i didnt know you were getting married yesterday.

hell, i barely knew.

did you wear white?

oh man, i wore a white dress, a nice white head thing, and a nice white garter. vera wang, baby.


didnt you get the invitation?

no, dude, my email has been fubar for the last week and a half. terrible virus on my computer. dont you read the busblog anymore?

nah, brah, i had this wedding to plan, and my normal rodman lifestyle to maintain.

like what?

you know, drinking, gambling, chasing white women, acting a fool.

arent you ever afraid that racists might point their finger at you and your way of living and say, “see, Black man acting just like we said they all act”?

i do my best not to live my life so that racists would feel better about me.

good point.

i got your birthday gift though.

sweet. wait. your birthday was yesterday! you got married on your birthday?

yeah, my girl asked me what i wanted for my birthday and i got down on my knee and proposed right there.

see worm, i told you that youre all right. but wont this married life cramp your style?

hell no, she will have her house, i will have mine.

she’s not moving in?

nope, she already lives two houses down, why should she move in?

what about the kids?

they live with her. two doors down. my son is two, my daughter is one, they wont even notice.

you’re incredible.

Hef does the same thing. it’s brilliant.

the nba misses you, dennis.

shit, the lakers miss me, thats for sure. they could definately use a rebounder.

damn straight.

forward, never straight, my man.

so where are you going on your honeymoon?

this is my honeymoon, we’re here at the Hard Rock, im about to go down to the craps tables and shes going to be waiting for me when i come back with some money.

again, dennis, youre the man. we miss you. thanks for the invite. sorry my email ate it. i hope to see you soon.

you definately will. we’re going to have another wedding next month down in newport, make sure you come.

solid. can Tsar play?

for sure. lots of bands will play!

later, worm.

later, g

s. eliot + tif’s twat + ah, texas

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